June 17, 2025
When a Monster Enters an Ordinary Life with Angela Smith (Part 1/2) I Ep. 73
"You just cannot comprehend that." These words from Angie Smith barely scratch the surface of the unfathomable tragedy that befell her family during COVID lockdown in 2021. What begins as the story of an "average mom and nan" quickly unfolds into one of the most devastating accounts of domestic violence in recent UK history. When Angie's daughter Terri ended a 14-year relationship just before national lockdown, she turned to online dating for connection. The man she met, initially charming b...
"You just cannot comprehend that." These words from Angie Smith barely scratch the surface of the unfathomable tragedy that befell her family during COVID lockdown in 2021. What begins as the story of an "average mom and nan" quickly unfolds into one of the most devastating accounts of domestic violence in recent UK history.
When Angie's daughter Terri ended a 14-year relationship just before national lockdown, she turned to online dating for connection. The man she met, initially charming but quickly controlling, moved into her home with alarming speed. Isolated by COVID restrictions, Terri's contact with her mother dwindled as red flags multiplied. Angie recalls the moment that sent chills down her spine – her daughter's new boyfriend wrapping Terri in his dressing gown, tying the belt around her, and declaring "she's not coming out with you, she's staying with me."
In September 2021, Angie learned through social media about police activity on her daughter's street. What followed was every parent's worst nightmare – the discovery that her daughter, two grandchildren, and their friend had been brutally murdered. The killer's calculated actions afterward – staying in the home overnight, watching TV among the bodies, even calling a taxi to sell her grandson's Xbox for drug money – reveal a level of depravity that defies comprehension.
Angie recounts the painful aftermath: identifying unrecognizable bodies, learning her daughter was pregnant, enduring court proceedings where the killer attempted to evade responsibility, and ultimately witnessing him receive four life sentences. "He's got the life sentence, but so have we," Angie observes, noting how the trauma continues years later as new headlines about the perpetrator's prison violence emerge.
This powerful testimony serves as both a memorial to Terri, John, Lacey, and their friend, and a crucial warning about recognizing early signs of controlling behavior. Listen to part one of this two-part conversation to understand the devastating reality of domestic violence, then join us next week to hear how Angie transformed her grief into activism that have already saved other families from similar tragedy.
View Angie's 1in3 profile here: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/angela-smith/
1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.
If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.
Contact 1 in 3:
- Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
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Thank you for listening!
Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe
00:00 - Meeting Angie and her tragic background
08:40 - Red flags with daughter's new boyfriend
15:24 - The devastating discovery
19:09 - Details of the unimaginable tragedy
23:17 - The monster's trial and sentence
26:57 - Closing thoughts and next episode preview
WEBVTT
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Hi, angie, thank you for joining me today on One in Three.
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How are you doing?
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Yeah, okay, thank you, okay.
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So we are actually planning on recording two episodes with you, and the first one you're gracious enough to talk about why you're here, what circumstances led you to where you are.
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So, if you don't mind, go ahead and introduce yourself and give a little bit of background.
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Yeah, I'm Angie Smith.
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I'm from Derbyshire, south Yorkshire in the UK.
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I'm just an average mom, an average nan, an average everyday person.
00:01:03.412 --> 00:01:13.822
Really, really, yeah, but unfortunately.
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Yeah, I've got a tragic tale to tell.
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Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
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And these tragic tales they happen to average everyday moms and nans which is a grandma here?
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But do you want to go ahead and tell a bit of that tragic tale that brought you to where you are today?
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Well, it was my daughter.
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She had a long-term relationship, 14 years.
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She had a son, john.
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A couple of years later Lacey came along, her daughter and you know.
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They was quite an happy, loving family.
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Her kids meant the world to her.
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And then her and her long-term partner, they broke up and we was about to go into national lockdown in the UK.
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Um, and that was pretty hard for her.
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Um, you know where she'd had this long-term relationship and she came out of it and then she were there on her own.
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So she started.
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She joined a dating website and she matched with a man called Damien Bendel.
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Things progressed really quickly too quickly for my liking and I wasn't allowed to see her because we were in national lockdown.
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So everything was done on FaceTime, telephone, which was really hard because we'd see quite a lot of one another.
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She told me over FaceTime that she'd met this guy and he was coming up for the weekend, which then I questioned, because we were all in national lockdown and he lived quite about two hours away from where we actually live in Derbyshire.
00:03:18.252 --> 00:03:25.727
The children were staying with their dad up that weekend and he came down.
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I told her to keep in touch with me.
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I wanted to know how it was progressing because you know, we never really knew this guy.
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She did.
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After the weekend he went home.
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He then came back the following weekend.
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Then we were starting to come out of a little bit of a lockdown so we could see I think it was five other people from our households.
00:03:49.972 --> 00:03:57.479
Then we were starting to come out of a little bit of a lockdown, so we could see I think it was five other people from our households.
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I went to meet him at her house, I'd say the first couple of hours he seemed quite charming and I was thinking, oh, maybe she really has got something here.
00:04:12.825 --> 00:04:17.234
Um, and then after that it just went really downhill the conversation.
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Um, he'd mentioned that he I was talking about my family dog that I had to have put to sleep because he was quite ill and how much the vet's bills were.
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And he told me his friend had a dog and he couldn't afford the vet's bills.
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So he hit it over the head with an aspirin.
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That was my wall wall.
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No, no, no.
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I'd had the conversation with Terry and said I I'm not sure about him and she said it was all like front provado.
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He likes to play the big man, the and I wasn't.
00:05:02.103 --> 00:05:04.146
Then I was really on my guard with him.
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Um, and then again it was the national lockdown again.
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We kept going in and out of lockdowns and you know how it went all over the world, um, and then, next thing, I know, every time I rang he were always there.
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You could hear him in the background.
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She was less where we'd facetime.
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A couple of times a day I would chat over the phone.
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That all stopped, um, and then we was out again for a little while.
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When I went back round and I was going out and asked her if she wanted to come with me and he had a dressing gown on and he wrapped her in the dressing gown, tied the belt around her and said no, she's not coming out with you, she's staying with me.
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All these shocking little things.
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And I'd said to her why is he always here?
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You know, why has he not gone home?
00:06:06.392 --> 00:06:12.041
And she was like he's just not gone home anymore.
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Mum and I said well, this is a bit too soon for my liking, um, and then, as I said, contact became less and less.
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Until then I was really quite concerned for her.
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Um, I saw a program which was about Claire's Law, which is a disclosure scheme in the UK, and I downloaded the form to fill that in to see if I could find out his criminal background.
00:06:43.880 --> 00:06:46.387
It was very difficult to do and it wouldn't have gone to me.
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It would very difficult to do and it wouldn't have gone to me.
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It would have gone to her and knowing he was always there, I didn't think that was the right thing to do, so I stopped it.
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So therefore I didn't find out which criminal background were.
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Time went on and on and there was a few little things were coming out about him and I said to her I don't like what I'm hearing.
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He's been in prison before.
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He had a drug habit and she'd said, yeah, but he's changed now.
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Mum, you know he loves me, he loves the children.
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He's never had anybody to change for and so he's changed for me.
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She started to ask me to borrow money all the time and that was another big concern because she wasn't like that.
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It was sort of every other day and it was a certain amount of money late into the night and I just said, just said, no, I'm not doing this, because this money's not for you, it's for him.
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Um, he were quiet.
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He'd come down to me and said you've got me all wrong.
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And so therefore, it was like I don't know, I'm gonna have to try to get on with this guy because otherwise, if I don't, I'm going to lose her.
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And so I tried my best to get on with him.
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And then on the morning of Sunday, the 19th of September 2021, I was quite busy throughout the day and hadn't heard from her or the children, and so we'd seen on a local Facebook page of our community, our little village, that something really bad had happened in Killamarsh.
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It's a little village we live in and there was a lot of police presence.
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And it got to about 3 o'clock and I just thought I haven't heard from her today.
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So I rang, it went into voicemail.
00:09:01.845 --> 00:09:03.985
I rang again, it went into voicemail.
00:09:03.985 --> 00:09:06.178
I tried texting her Nothing.
00:09:06.178 --> 00:09:08.044
I tried texting her nothing.
00:09:08.044 --> 00:09:19.552
So then my husband had said oh, it's just come up over the Facebook page that whatever has happened today has gone off on your Terry Street.
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And I said right, I've got this really bad feeling.
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We need to go down.
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And I went down and what met me was a sea of police.
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The road was cordoned off.
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I jumped out the car, I ran to the policeman and said what's happened?
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That is my daughter's house, please, I need to get down there.
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And he said no, no, no, no, you can't, you can't, you need to get back in the car.
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We'll take your name and address and we'll send officers out to you, which, within 10 minutes of me arriving home, they came out.
00:10:00.701 --> 00:10:03.250
I don't remember much really about that day.
00:10:03.250 --> 00:10:12.932
They proceeded to go on and said they'd found a body and we think that this may be your daughter.
00:10:12.932 --> 00:10:19.530
And I remember saying no, no, no, you've got this wrong.
00:10:19.530 --> 00:10:21.424
This can't be no.
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And then they went on to say and then there was another body, and then another.
00:10:28.567 --> 00:10:43.157
And then they reckoned that there was someone staying over for a sleepover, which I knew was my granddaughter's little friend because she's always sleeping over, and I called out her name and said oh no, not her as well.
00:10:43.157 --> 00:10:48.111
And I just said he did this, didn't he?
00:10:48.111 --> 00:10:51.488
I just knew, I knew it was him.
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I was waiting to find out who our parents were, because Damien Bendel had smashed her phone and they couldn't find anything.
00:11:03.027 --> 00:11:09.253
Obviously, they couldn't get into her phone to find out any phone numbers.
00:11:09.253 --> 00:11:17.474
So that was, yeah, it just went absolutely crazy.
00:11:17.474 --> 00:11:20.104
As soon as they'd contacted us.
00:11:20.104 --> 00:11:23.451
Then they released it on every TV programme.
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Who she were.
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I mean sitting there on that Sunday night watching the news and watching my daughter, my grandchildren, all come up on the news.
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It was just unreal.
00:11:36.368 --> 00:11:39.028
It didn't seem to.
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It was like I was asleep and I was in some kind of nightmare and I've got to wake up from this.
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Our village it was a big part of it.
00:11:50.126 --> 00:11:54.282
There were so many tributes left flowers, teddy bears, candles.
00:11:54.282 --> 00:12:01.932
People are utterly shocked and yeah it, it was hard.
00:12:03.455 --> 00:12:08.089
Um, I don't know how I mean people say to me how do you keep going?
00:12:08.089 --> 00:12:11.120
I keep going now because of what I do.
00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:15.609
Um, the first couple of weeks I just didn't.
00:12:15.609 --> 00:12:24.144
I think it was just a case of getting up in the morning and trying to focus what I had to do.
00:12:24.144 --> 00:12:40.143
Um, because about four days after we had to go and identify her, which was I can't even describe what that was like.
00:12:40.143 --> 00:13:01.224
It was behind her face, she was beyond recognition and also she had the defence wounds on her hands, so she'd fought for her life.
00:13:05.389 --> 00:13:11.076
A few days after that, we actually went to see my granddaughter and my grandson.
00:13:11.076 --> 00:13:13.982
They were in the same room.
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Same applies to what he did to them.
00:13:17.652 --> 00:13:33.508
I can remember standing in the middle of them both and I could hear this screaming, and I didn't know who this screaming was, and then I realised it was me and I fell to my knees.
00:13:33.508 --> 00:13:37.503
My husband picked me up and said we need to go.
00:13:37.503 --> 00:13:39.669
This is not good for you.
00:13:39.669 --> 00:13:46.741
Yeah, so that was you know, I'm a man, and I mean.
00:13:46.741 --> 00:13:48.207
They fought for their lives as well.
00:13:48.207 --> 00:13:50.619
Children he was quite'm a man and I mean they fought for their lives as well.
00:13:50.619 --> 00:13:52.445
Children he was quite a big man.
00:13:52.445 --> 00:14:03.224
Used to do cage fighting, so they never stood a chance and then it went.
00:14:04.740 --> 00:14:07.484
And I just think every week there was something different.
00:14:07.484 --> 00:14:22.610
And they said that obviously she was eight weeks pregnant with his baby and decided to tell the police it wasn't his baby.
00:14:22.610 --> 00:14:44.250
So then we had the task of having to have the baby taken out of her to have a DNA test, and then we had the task of saying whether we had the baby put back in Terry or whether we'd give that baby a funeral.
00:14:44.250 --> 00:14:52.951
And first of all I'd said no, I don't want any of think of ease near my daughter.
00:14:52.951 --> 00:14:57.967
And then my husband had a word with me and said you know how much she loved children.
00:14:57.967 --> 00:15:02.062
Um, you know she should have the baby back with her.
00:15:02.062 --> 00:15:04.404
So that's what I decided.
00:15:04.404 --> 00:15:16.565
Um, and then it was you know, and I'm I can't say, I'm not comfortable, but it doesn't sit well with me, or I don't try to think about it.
00:15:16.565 --> 00:15:27.331
But then we found out that he'd also why, lazy as I die, and he then raped her at least twice.
00:15:27.331 --> 00:15:33.591
What kind of man does that?
00:15:33.591 --> 00:15:36.365
How can you call him a man?
00:15:36.365 --> 00:15:38.090
I tried to not refer to him by name.
00:15:38.090 --> 00:15:46.275
If I speak about him now, I call him the monster.
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I'm just thinking.
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What they went through that night.
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They just don't bear thinking about it.
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It came out afterwards because we weren't told exactly how they died for a few weeks, and it came out that he'd killed them and he'd hit them at least nine times around the head with a claw hammer.
00:16:09.368 --> 00:16:14.364
So, yeah, can you even?
00:16:14.364 --> 00:16:16.990
You just cannot comprehend that.
00:16:16.990 --> 00:16:26.153
It was just absolutely yeah, you just open every day that you'd wake up.
00:16:26.153 --> 00:16:29.985
Yeah, you just open every day that you'd wake up.
00:16:29.985 --> 00:16:37.875
The court, you know he decided, you know I killed them, but I didn't really kill them.
00:16:37.875 --> 00:16:42.342
You know I was.
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You know I don't remember.
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You know the last thing I remember was sitting on the stairs, came to, went upstairs, seen my daughter and my missus dead no, I don't think that you did, because you went on to cover your own tracks.
00:17:01.072 --> 00:17:02.711
You smashed up a phone.
00:17:02.711 --> 00:17:05.851
You knew exactly what you were doing.
00:17:06.784 --> 00:17:08.893
He sat in court with us there.
00:17:08.893 --> 00:17:20.326
First couple of times he actually stared me out, actually turned around and looked at me and stared me out, which was really hard to keep a lid on things.
00:17:20.326 --> 00:17:27.885
And then he went along the route that he said he was asked to give a plea.
00:17:27.885 --> 00:17:30.330
He went along the route.
00:17:30.330 --> 00:17:35.907
You know he's got a mass in his brain, so he wasn't that really guilty of killing him.
00:17:35.907 --> 00:17:37.611
It was this mass in his brain.
00:17:37.611 --> 00:17:44.290
And I'd said all along, I'd said to the police, our barrister, I'd said he's lying.
00:17:44.290 --> 00:17:51.952
So they'd done extensive brain tests on him which lasted near enough a year.
00:17:52.765 --> 00:18:05.717
So his back was always to call all this time, listening to how he was suffering, which sometimes you don't even want to know.
00:18:05.717 --> 00:18:15.484
And then he stood up at one time and said you know, he's not guilty of murder, but he's guilty of manslaughter.
00:18:15.484 --> 00:18:20.476
And I wanted to jump home and shout out are you kidding us?
00:18:20.476 --> 00:18:21.739
You know, really.
00:18:21.739 --> 00:18:25.769
And so then it went.
00:18:25.769 --> 00:18:27.894
It just kept going on and on and on.
00:18:27.894 --> 00:18:37.653
And then, in December 2022, we got a phone call from the police that said well, I've got another court date.
00:18:37.653 --> 00:18:39.628
Phone call from the police that said, well, I've got another court date.
00:18:39.628 --> 00:18:43.857
It was the 21st of December 2022.
00:18:49.505 --> 00:19:06.984
We went back into court and he pleaded guilty to all charges and then the judge had said he said he was sorry, you know he realised that he'd have to get a full life term, which is he will die in prison.
00:19:06.984 --> 00:19:35.718
The judge gave him four life terms one for 15 years for ages of murders and a full life term for what he did to Lacey alone and a full life term for what he did to Lacey alone, he'd said, because Lacey were killed in the living room, my daughter were killed in her bedroom, my grandson was killed in the bathroom and my daughter's little friend was killed in my granddaughter's room.
00:19:35.718 --> 00:19:45.775
He'd said he'd carried Lacey, which is my granddaughter, upstairs to be with her mum, when all he did was carry her upstairs to do what he did to her.
00:19:45.775 --> 00:19:54.644
Yeah, so he was sentenced to a full life order, which is very rare in this country.
00:19:54.644 --> 00:20:00.530
There's only about I think there's about 27 people in this country that's got a full life order.
00:20:03.167 --> 00:20:05.054
So he will die in prison and that's.
00:20:05.054 --> 00:20:07.150
You know, that's all we could have wished for.
00:20:07.150 --> 00:20:17.085
You know he'd never come out to be able to hurt anybody else again, and it's just he's still carrying on in prison.
00:20:17.085 --> 00:20:29.295
I mean, you know, last year we got a telephone call from the National Preparation Service that said he's attacked an inmate in prison with a chlorammer.
00:20:29.295 --> 00:20:38.238
Unbelievable, why would you let someone like him in a workshop with a chlorammer?
00:20:38.238 --> 00:20:45.753
So now he's in the news again because he's up for attempted murder, though he cannot get anything else on his sentence.
00:20:48.846 --> 00:21:04.854
So, yeah, everything just keeps coming and coming, even though now you know we're nearly four years on and you think that you're never going to hear about this person again, but he's still controlling everything.
00:21:04.854 --> 00:21:08.935
You know he's got the life sentence, but so have we got life sentence?
00:21:08.935 --> 00:21:11.911
He's never going away.
00:21:15.046 --> 00:21:16.126
I'm kind of speechless.
00:21:16.126 --> 00:21:39.419
I mean, I'm familiar with the story, but to hear it from you is just so much more emotional, in a full range of emotions, and I absolutely would refer to him as the monster as well, because there's truly no other word.
00:21:39.419 --> 00:21:41.321
You could call him um.
00:21:41.321 --> 00:21:45.873
Had he, was he still there, or how did they arrest him?
00:21:45.873 --> 00:21:46.394
Um?
00:21:46.796 --> 00:21:49.584
what happened was yeah, that's a statistic from war over.
00:21:49.584 --> 00:21:52.488
Yeah, he'd, he'd stayed with them.
00:21:52.488 --> 00:21:55.791
Um, he did what he did to them.
00:21:55.791 --> 00:22:04.809
He stayed with them all night in the property, apart from one time he called a taxi.
00:22:04.890 --> 00:22:06.974
I don't know what you do call a taxi.
00:22:06.974 --> 00:22:18.075
Yeah, he called a taxi and he went and sold my grandson's xbox in the middle of the night to a drug dealer to get drugs.
00:22:18.075 --> 00:22:33.829
Yeah, that's someone that didn't know what he was doing and he told the taxi driver.
00:22:33.829 --> 00:22:35.743
The taxi driver made a conversation with him and he said how's your weekend been?
00:22:35.743 --> 00:22:36.326
And he went.
00:22:36.326 --> 00:22:38.775
Yeah, bit of a mad one.
00:22:38.775 --> 00:22:40.291
I've been chilling with my family.
00:22:40.291 --> 00:22:51.010
He watched TV during the night while they were all laying there yeah, so that is.
00:22:52.405 --> 00:22:54.473
And the next morning he went out.
00:22:54.473 --> 00:23:00.939
He was caught on CCTV, I think about 10 past 7 in the morning, buying cigarettes.
00:23:00.939 --> 00:23:04.412
He had blood all on his hands.
00:23:04.412 --> 00:23:15.098
And then he went back to the property and phoned his mum to say that he had stabbed himself with a bread knife.
00:23:15.098 --> 00:23:20.375
She had then called the police for a concern for him.
00:23:20.375 --> 00:23:23.193
She didn't know anything about what happened.
00:23:23.193 --> 00:23:40.196
While she went phoning the police, he was on the phone to the police at the same time and then, basically, the telephone call goes to I need police and I need an ambulance because I've killed four people.
00:23:40.196 --> 00:23:45.614
And then the officers came out.
00:23:45.614 --> 00:23:58.270
He decided to tell them you know, I've cut myself so many centimetres in with a bread knife and the policeman says, all right, right, let me have a look.
00:23:58.270 --> 00:23:59.452
Um.
00:23:59.452 --> 00:24:05.511
And then he says and the policeman says, oh well, nothing's going to happen to you now.
00:24:05.511 --> 00:24:07.644
And he went yeah, I'm going back to prison.
00:24:08.747 --> 00:24:14.133
So the policeman says um why, have you done anything to anyone else?
00:24:14.133 --> 00:24:17.036
And and he says, yeah, I've killed four of my family.
00:24:17.036 --> 00:24:23.367
I don't think the police actually believed him at that point.
00:24:23.367 --> 00:24:26.094
And why really would you?
00:24:26.094 --> 00:24:27.698
I don't think you would.
00:24:27.698 --> 00:24:30.587
The police went in.
00:24:30.587 --> 00:24:35.038
I mean, the whole of the general public didn't see the footage.
00:24:35.038 --> 00:24:41.356
We saw the footage of when the policeman went in and he was quite utterly shocked.
00:24:41.356 --> 00:24:43.882
There was a female officer there.
00:24:43.882 --> 00:24:45.946
She was quite upset.
00:24:45.946 --> 00:24:48.653
He told her to leave because she was getting that upset.
00:24:48.653 --> 00:24:56.094
Yes, and the way he told the policeman I've just killed, it was like nothing.
00:24:56.094 --> 00:24:56.976
Oh, I've just killed, it was like nothing.
00:24:56.976 --> 00:24:58.801
You know, I've just killed four people.
00:24:58.801 --> 00:25:00.891
I'm going back to prison.
00:25:00.891 --> 00:25:08.057
So they had to take him to the emergency department because he had.
00:25:08.057 --> 00:25:10.814
They were just like nothing.
00:25:10.814 --> 00:25:13.413
He just nicked himself.
00:25:13.413 --> 00:25:18.237
You know, he obviously didn't have the will with all to kill himself.
00:25:18.237 --> 00:25:24.392
So that's how he handed himself in.
00:25:24.392 --> 00:25:24.573
Yeah.
00:25:29.608 --> 00:25:31.054
It's just a disgusting story.
00:25:31.054 --> 00:25:40.817
I mean, like you said, when you think it can't get any worse, then there's this other part of the story where he just proves that he is a monster.
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