Jan. 13, 2026

103-How Documenting Abuse Saves Lives with Norma Peterson

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Season 4

When headlines fade, survivors are often left with the aftermath. In this episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid speaks with Norma Peterson, Executive Director of Document the Abuse, about what really happens behind high-profile domestic violence cases—and how abuse often escalates when someone tries to leave.

Using lessons learned from the disappearance of Stacy Peterson, Norma explains how control, isolation, and intimidation evolve quietly, long before the public ever notices. We explore the legal concept of forfeiture by wrongdoing, which allows a victim’s documented words to be used when they can no longer speak for themselves.

Norma introduces the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA)—a secure, off-device digital documentation tool that allows survivors to safely store photos, texts, emails, and timelines without alerting an abuser. We discuss safety features like quick exits, save-in-progress options, and why notarization can strengthen legal credibility—while emphasizing that documentation alone is a powerful act of protection.

We also honor the legacy of advocate Susan Murphy Milano, whose foresight shaped survivor-centered documentation used today by law enforcement, prosecutors, and medical teams. From QR-code access points to youth-focused protections, this conversation highlights how early documentation can save lives.

If your instincts tell you something isn’t right, documenting the pattern may be the safest next step.

Resources mentioned:
 • Document the Abuse
 • loveisrespect.org

If this episode resonates, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need it today.

Norma’s links: 

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/norma-peterson/

https://documenttheabuse.org/

https://www.instagram.com/documenttheabuse

https://www.youtube.com/@documenttheabuse

https://www.linkedin.com/company/documenttheabuse/

https://www.facebook.com/DocumentTheAbuse

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

00:00 - Welcome And Norma’s Background

03:58 - Stacy’s Disappearance And Media Frenzy

10:43 - Patterns Of Control And Narcissistic Abuse

16:53 - The Trial, Hearsay, And Forfeiture By Wrongdoing

22:23 - Susan Murphy Milano And The Birth Of The EAA

29:08 - How The EAA Works And Why It’s Safe

36:53 - Uploading Evidence And Building A Digital Diary

43:33 - Validation, Escalation, And Seeing The Pattern

49:53 - Friends And Family As Corroborators

55:33 - Law Enforcement, QR Codes, And Adoption

01:03:23 - Legal Foundations And Notarization

01:08:53 - Beyond DV: Stalking And Workplace Harassment

01:15:03 - Youth, Confidentiality, And Stacy’s Daisies

01:21:23 - Practical Resources And Socials

01:26:23 - Final Encouragement And Closing

WEBVTT

00:00:23.500 --> 00:00:25.500
Hi Warriors, welcome to One and Three.

00:00:25.579 --> 00:00:26.780
I'm your host, Ingrid.

00:00:27.179 --> 00:00:31.100
Today I am honored to welcome my guest, Norma Peterson.

00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:40.219
We start our conversation with a brief look into the family tragedy that led her into advocacy within the domestic violence community.

00:00:40.460 --> 00:00:46.140
While we don't go into all the details, Norma does share some resources if you'd like to learn more.

00:00:46.379 --> 00:01:02.380
We then shift our conversation to talk about her nonprofit document the abuse and the evidentiary abuse affidavit, a tool truly beneficial for all victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

00:01:02.619 --> 00:01:03.979
Here's Norma.

00:01:04.460 --> 00:01:05.420
Hi Norma.

00:01:05.579 --> 00:01:08.379
Welcome to One and Three and thank you for joining me today.

00:01:08.620 --> 00:01:08.939
Hello.

00:01:09.020 --> 00:01:10.460
How are you today, Ingrid?

00:01:10.780 --> 00:01:11.340
I'm good.

00:01:11.500 --> 00:01:14.939
I am this is going to be a great conversation, I think.

00:01:15.420 --> 00:01:19.259
We were just chatting before we hit record and we're going to talk about all of the things.

00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:22.060
So I know.

00:01:22.620 --> 00:01:29.019
Before we get started, could you just give a little background so everybody is familiar with who you are and why you're here?

00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:29.739
Okay.

00:01:29.900 --> 00:01:31.099
Yes, I'd love to.

00:01:31.260 --> 00:01:32.859
My name is Norma Peterson.

00:01:33.180 --> 00:01:36.780
I am the executive director of Document the Abuse.

00:01:37.500 --> 00:01:47.819
And I am the sister-in-law to missing Bolingbrook, Illinois, mother Stacey Peterson from back in 2007.

00:01:48.299 --> 00:01:51.739
So we're talking about a case that is about 18 years.

00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:53.980
My sister-in-law has been missing 18 years.

00:01:54.459 --> 00:01:55.340
It's crazy.

00:01:55.819 --> 00:01:57.019
It blows my mind.

00:01:57.340 --> 00:02:05.579
I know, because in some ways it's like I can still remember everything.

00:02:05.739 --> 00:02:07.180
Like it was yesterday.

00:02:07.260 --> 00:02:13.740
And then there's other times where it's like, my God, her children have grown in this whole period of time and are now young adults.

00:02:13.900 --> 00:02:18.139
And yes, it's been a long, hard 18 years.

00:02:18.300 --> 00:02:24.620
So it's a flip side depending on what day, what time, what may trigger a memory.

00:02:24.860 --> 00:02:49.819
So, you know, it it's been, it's been a uh a bit surreal at times, but it what's come out of our story has been a way to help others to navigate in a better way than any of the women that are part of this tragedy had a way to.

00:02:50.860 --> 00:02:51.500
Yeah.

00:02:52.539 --> 00:02:58.060
Just in case people aren't familiar with Stacy's story, and I I don't know if I'm familiar.

00:02:58.219 --> 00:03:09.419
I did make national news, but I grew up in Wisconsin, so it's it was kind of close and I I was out of Wisconsin, but I still keep up to date with things that happen in and around.

00:03:09.659 --> 00:03:21.500
And so I don't know if I was really familiar with it because of the location or if it just really been written about that.

00:03:21.740 --> 00:03:30.539
So just to give you some background, there was about five different books that were written about what happened in our family.

00:03:30.780 --> 00:03:33.500
And I usually oh, here they are.

00:03:37.020 --> 00:03:37.659
All right.

00:03:38.060 --> 00:03:47.099
So just to give you some idea for some of the, I mean, you've got a lot of younger people here, so they weren't aware of what was going on.

00:03:47.259 --> 00:03:54.139
And this at this period of time, so my sister-in-law is on October 28th, went missing.

00:03:54.860 --> 00:04:11.979
She's 23 years old, the fourth wife of a man who is 30 years her senior, and my brother-in-law is a police officer, sergeant in the Bolingberg Police Department.

00:04:12.939 --> 00:04:23.019
And so he did not think that anybody would care about the fact that a little 23-year-old girl would go missing.

00:04:24.939 --> 00:04:30.060
But as I just stated, this was at the onset of True Crime TV.

00:04:30.539 --> 00:04:40.379
So the OJ Simpson case had just gone on, and how everybody had locked in and tuned in, turned on to all of that madness.

00:04:40.860 --> 00:04:53.980
And now what happened was her sister Cassandra thought, I need to tell somebody she's missing because I know something happened to her, because they had been in contact.

00:04:54.300 --> 00:05:04.779
So she, not trusting the Bowlingbrook Police Department because he worked there, went to the Illinois State Police and filed a report.

00:05:05.180 --> 00:05:15.579
And so that is really what began the whole the whole start of our story, you know, in terms of what happened with Stacy.

00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:19.500
So this triggers uh an investigation.

00:05:20.060 --> 00:05:33.500
Now, Mark Furman, who was part of the OJ Simpson case and is now just this huge person on True Crime TV because now they have a whole network that is nothing but 24-7.

00:05:33.819 --> 00:05:35.819
So they need something to feed that.

00:05:36.379 --> 00:05:44.379
So here is this 23-year-old young Caucasian girl who goes missing.

00:05:44.540 --> 00:05:48.060
Her husband is 30 years her senior.

00:05:49.500 --> 00:05:52.220
He's a police officer.

00:05:52.620 --> 00:06:00.699
And now when they start to look, he has a third wife who died under accidental circumstances.

00:06:00.860 --> 00:06:05.740
So now Mark Furman starts to take a look at this and says, Really?

00:06:05.980 --> 00:06:08.060
Uh let's take a closer look.

00:06:08.300 --> 00:06:09.899
And that's exactly what he does.

00:06:10.060 --> 00:06:12.860
He comes out here and he starts to take a closer look.

00:06:13.019 --> 00:06:16.300
And this triggers all kinds of media to come out.

00:06:16.540 --> 00:06:35.180
And literally, just to give you some kind of a description as to how crazy it is to have something like this happen in your family that the media then picks up on, is that literally every day they lived in a cul-de-sac.

00:06:35.339 --> 00:06:37.740
Uh uh, Stacy and Drew lived in a cul-de-sac.

00:06:37.819 --> 00:06:46.699
And so the this was when they still had the vans that had the big uh um discs on the top to do the things.

00:06:46.779 --> 00:06:50.540
So they would literally come in at four in the morning and there'd be a whole line of them.

00:06:50.620 --> 00:06:54.939
So there'd be CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox, International.

00:06:55.180 --> 00:07:05.500
I mean, it was everybody, and then they would all line up in there, and then everybody would get out, they'd have their coffee and everything like that, and they would come to the end of the driveway.

00:07:05.579 --> 00:07:09.899
Now, the end of the driveway is called an apron, and that is city property.

00:07:10.060 --> 00:07:26.540
So they could set up at the end of the driveway, and they would wait for all the newscasters to come in and then pull in, and then they would do their newscasts from the end of the driveway daily, multiple times a day.

00:07:26.939 --> 00:07:29.259
And this is how we fed the machine.

00:07:29.500 --> 00:07:31.180
This is what winds up happening.

00:07:31.420 --> 00:07:38.779
And so now everybody's in on this case, but there's all kinds of things going on that now they're looking into Drew's background.

00:07:38.860 --> 00:07:50.060
And if you take any kind of a look into the history, you'll see what my wonderful brother-in-law was like going out into the media.

00:07:51.579 --> 00:08:04.300
He was just loving every minute of it and not real thinking he's famous, not thinking he's infamous, not knowing the difference.

00:08:05.980 --> 00:08:07.980
So this is how we lived our lives.

00:08:08.139 --> 00:08:12.300
And in the meantime, there's all these books that are written about him.

00:08:12.459 --> 00:08:20.939
Here's one from called Exposed, Drew Peterson Exposed, Derek Armstrong, who spent time with him.

00:08:21.899 --> 00:08:22.939
And he let him.

00:08:23.019 --> 00:08:25.500
And then he wrote the book and it it he totally disdrew.

00:08:25.579 --> 00:08:27.899
And Drew's like, I'm such a nice guy.

00:08:27.980 --> 00:08:28.379
What?

00:08:28.620 --> 00:08:30.300
Oh my gosh, that's so gross.

00:08:30.540 --> 00:08:31.100
It's insane.

00:08:31.259 --> 00:08:32.139
Fatal vows.

00:08:33.660 --> 00:08:35.500
You know, I mean, I it was nuts.

00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:41.500
There's there's a couple of other ones I don't know where they went, but yeah, I've got a couple of other ones that were all written, you know.

00:08:41.740 --> 00:08:45.500
So it was just, I mean, crazy.

00:08:45.579 --> 00:08:51.100
And and it's easy to see on the media that was created, the Sun Times every single day.

00:08:51.339 --> 00:08:56.460
I mean, I could go get newspapers at just one, two, three, four, every day, every day, every day.

00:08:56.620 --> 00:08:58.620
This is what her case did.

00:08:58.940 --> 00:09:02.539
Yeah, I didn't, I guess I didn't realize it was her sister that reported her missing.

00:09:02.860 --> 00:09:12.539
Cassandra Kales, her sister, was the one that really got the ball rolling because you would think, okay, so if someone goes missing, you're gonna call all their friends, right?

00:09:12.700 --> 00:09:14.379
You're gonna try to call people.

00:09:14.620 --> 00:09:15.899
He didn't call anybody.

00:09:16.059 --> 00:09:21.820
He just says that she took off with some guy and$25,000 that he had in his safe.

00:09:21.980 --> 00:09:24.940
I don't know who has$25,000 in their safe.

00:09:25.100 --> 00:09:27.659
First of all, you know, there's that.

00:09:28.779 --> 00:09:30.220
Especially a cop, you would think.

00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:33.419
Yeah, what do you where did you get$25,000?

00:09:33.500 --> 00:09:42.379
Now he always hands side businesses, but I don't I nobody, nobody I know has$25,000 in a safe anywhere, you know.

00:09:42.620 --> 00:09:46.059
So he just is what he tells everybody.

00:09:46.220 --> 00:09:50.779
He just tells, you know, and this is what he tells Cassandra, your sister took off on me.

00:09:51.100 --> 00:10:02.139
So he doesn't try to call anybody, he doesn't call me, who he knows Stacy talks to, who's I'm a friend with her, who he knows I know her.

00:10:02.539 --> 00:10:06.139
Wouldn't you call me to say, do you know who she might have taken off with?

00:10:06.299 --> 00:10:10.700
If it's this random guy, don't you think he'd call me to say, where is she?

00:10:11.019 --> 00:10:11.179
Right.

00:10:11.259 --> 00:10:12.379
Well, and they had kids.

00:10:12.460 --> 00:10:19.100
So even if you don't care if whatever she went off, left you, and you just think, let me just move on.

00:10:19.179 --> 00:10:20.139
You have kids together.

00:10:20.220 --> 00:10:25.019
So you need some sort of communication for the the kids.

00:10:25.580 --> 00:10:32.220
You know, if you look at the media that was out there, you'll see that he was telling you, Oh, you need to come home.

00:10:32.379 --> 00:10:39.179
You need to, you know, your kids, and and and oh, she won't because she's scared of the repercussions, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:10:39.340 --> 00:10:43.980
Well, even if you're in jail, there are no repercussions for her at this point.

00:10:44.139 --> 00:10:46.379
You're in jail, she doesn't have to worry about you.

00:10:46.539 --> 00:10:47.899
She's free to come forward.

00:10:47.980 --> 00:10:49.419
Why hasn't she come forward?

00:10:49.820 --> 00:10:52.379
Don't you think that she wants to see her children too?

00:10:52.460 --> 00:10:55.580
If you, you know, we all know what a great mom she was.

00:10:56.139 --> 00:11:09.740
So it it it would be inherent to any mom that once you're not a problem anymore, and I don't have to worry about the repercussions because now I can tell everybody what was going on and prove my point, I I would come forward.

00:11:10.059 --> 00:11:10.379
Right.

00:11:10.620 --> 00:11:12.220
Which she hasn't, has she?

00:11:12.539 --> 00:11:13.179
Right.

00:11:13.899 --> 00:11:15.100
So I guess we know.

00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:20.059
Did her sister, was she aware of the relationship beforehand?

00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:20.940
What was going on?

00:11:21.419 --> 00:11:22.460
Yes, she was.

00:11:22.620 --> 00:11:29.019
So she was very concerned and had gotten Stacy a new phone under her name.

00:11:29.259 --> 00:11:38.539
And Stacy had called me with the number to let me know, so that, and had told me that because Andra got me a new uh uh I have a new phone.

00:11:38.700 --> 00:11:42.940
I don't want Drew to know about it, but I want to be able to stay in contact with you.

00:11:43.100 --> 00:11:45.259
And this was a week before she went missing.

00:11:45.659 --> 00:11:45.980
Okay.

00:11:46.379 --> 00:11:49.100
And you already had an idea of what happened.

00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:57.580
I did because I've always had a somewhat adversarial relationship just due to my personality in general.

00:11:57.820 --> 00:12:10.220
You know, I tend to be, you know, especially as the older you get, the less you tolerate, you know, um bullshit.

00:12:10.860 --> 00:12:15.419
I don't even know also you truly don't.

00:12:15.500 --> 00:12:24.220
And and the thing is, is he had always picked women that were younger, younger, younger, because women his age and my age were gonna call him out.

00:12:24.379 --> 00:12:30.379
And and yeah, in order not to have that happen, he needed to have someone that he could manipulate.

00:12:30.460 --> 00:12:31.740
That's why he kept doing it.

00:12:31.899 --> 00:12:38.860
So, you know, his second wife was a little bit younger than the first wife, but not with his first wife, he was okay.

00:12:39.019 --> 00:12:46.460
There wasn't the issues, you know, other than the infidelity, which is what caused the demise of the first marriage, was his infidelity.

00:12:46.539 --> 00:12:51.179
But there was no violence, there was no behavioral issues and things like that.

00:12:51.340 --> 00:12:55.419
He was just, you know, a jerk, a phlander at that point.

00:12:55.659 --> 00:12:56.059
Yeah.

00:12:56.299 --> 00:13:04.700
He did not become uh truly didn't start down that path of of who he became until his second marriage.

00:13:04.940 --> 00:13:16.620
And he married someone who beautiful young woman who had a child, and they never had children together, which I think is part of how she got out of that marriage.

00:13:16.700 --> 00:13:20.220
That and and she never asked for anything from him.

00:13:20.379 --> 00:13:21.500
She just wanted out.

00:13:21.980 --> 00:13:26.220
And because she didn't ask for anything, she told him, You keep your pension.

00:13:26.460 --> 00:13:28.059
I don't want your I don't want anything.

00:13:28.139 --> 00:13:29.740
I just want out.

00:13:30.460 --> 00:13:34.940
And so that's how she survived getting out of that marriage.

00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:45.100
By the third marriage with Kathleen, he was full on into who he was and who he is now.

00:13:45.899 --> 00:14:16.299
So the he was starting to really feel the depth of his narcissism and abuse, and was in a power in a in a position of power and authority, had uh people and advantages that uh others didn't due to his lack of morality, and so was able to really perpetrate his his horror everywhere and with so many of us.

00:14:16.379 --> 00:14:29.980
There is, I mean, still to this day, there isn't repercussions from from from his actions, whether it be in relationships or situations, even now they resonate and and they will until all of us are gone.

00:14:30.299 --> 00:14:46.539
But you with the work that I'm doing, we're gonna make that resonance not just something in terms of a tragedy, but we're gonna take that tragedy and resonate in a different way.

00:14:46.860 --> 00:15:00.539
We're gonna resonate in a more positive way, and we're gonna take the names of these women because there's one other woman that we need to talk about that's a part of this, because what Stacy and Kathy went through was just horrific.

00:15:00.860 --> 00:15:08.779
And the fact that none of us could do anything to help them in a way that was substantial that would have kept them here.

00:15:09.740 --> 00:15:13.419
Now, you're very active in the domestic violence community.

00:15:13.580 --> 00:15:21.019
Before, did you was that ever a topic that you even thought of before all of this personal tragedy?

00:15:21.340 --> 00:15:25.500
I mean, uh Kathy and I we were in business with Kathy and Drew.

00:15:25.580 --> 00:15:27.259
So we had our own set of issues with them.

00:15:27.419 --> 00:15:31.340
And that's I mean, we could see how he he changed her.

00:15:31.820 --> 00:15:34.460
He he manipulated her.

00:15:34.779 --> 00:15:40.379
It is not a you know a wonder we all couldn't get along because he was in her ear constantly.

00:15:40.620 --> 00:15:43.259
People want to take things from you, people want whatever you want.

00:15:43.340 --> 00:15:45.340
He even did that to her family, you know.

00:15:45.419 --> 00:15:46.700
So he ostracized her.

00:15:46.779 --> 00:15:48.220
Everybody wants what you have.

00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:55.019
Everybody, because I do so much for you and you have so much because of me, everybody's jealous of you and they all want you.

00:15:55.179 --> 00:15:59.179
So he put those walls up so that well, that's what abusers do anyway.

00:15:59.259 --> 00:15:59.340
Right.

00:15:59.500 --> 00:16:01.179
So that was his isolating her, yeah.

00:16:01.419 --> 00:16:02.379
Right, right, right, right.

00:16:02.940 --> 00:16:06.299
But he was doing it in a way where she was starting now to feel like that.

00:16:06.379 --> 00:16:12.059
And she was also acting in that manner because of that influence.

00:16:12.460 --> 00:16:23.980
Because there's a lot of people that will tell you that she she because she used to be a very fun-loving, I mean, she's a beautiful woman, but you can tell by the end of her marriage with him what that's done to her.

00:16:24.299 --> 00:16:37.500
Being in a in a in a marriage with someone of his nature and having to put up with those kinds of of situations and and and circumstances, and to which you can't seem to find anybody to help you get out.

00:16:37.659 --> 00:16:43.100
So I can't imagine the terror that any of them though during those periods of times.

00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:44.059
Right.

00:16:44.539 --> 00:16:55.100
So was there a specific moment with all of this, all the news and everything where you thought, I need I want to do something.

00:16:56.139 --> 00:16:59.580
Okay, so here's kind of yeah.

00:17:00.379 --> 00:17:10.619
So there's yeah, okay, so let's start with um about two weeks after Stacy goes missing.

00:17:11.179 --> 00:17:15.340
Um Drew had called someone else to come and help and take care of the kids.

00:17:15.420 --> 00:17:23.259
So now he has four young children at 10, 12, 18 months and almost three years.

00:17:23.900 --> 00:17:24.539
Goodness.

00:17:24.779 --> 00:17:30.380
And he doesn't call any of us, he calls some guy named Rick Mims.

00:17:30.619 --> 00:17:44.299
And this guy Rick Mims comes and helps him and starts to figure out based on Drew's behaviors that he's up to something or his behaviors is not at all indicative of someone who is innocent.

00:17:44.619 --> 00:17:46.460
And even Rick could see it.

00:17:46.619 --> 00:17:53.339
And as soon as Drew saw that Rick was figuring it out, he kicks Rick out and he calls us.

00:17:54.779 --> 00:17:55.819
That's weird.

00:17:57.660 --> 00:17:59.420
Again, why didn't he call me?

00:17:59.579 --> 00:18:00.940
So we move in.

00:18:01.099 --> 00:18:13.819
So during that's why I know all the the media is going on because we're living there inside of there with the blinds closed, because every time we open them, there's the media right at the front door.

00:18:13.980 --> 00:18:17.259
So this is how I know is because I'm looking from the inside out.

00:18:17.339 --> 00:18:19.500
We felt like we were in a fishbowl.

00:18:20.380 --> 00:18:22.940
So we go in, we start to take care.

00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:24.380
I take care of the kids.

00:18:24.539 --> 00:18:29.500
We take our son, who is the same age as uh um the boys.

00:18:29.660 --> 00:18:32.619
He's like right in between them, so they're the same age.

00:18:32.940 --> 00:18:38.059
Paul, myself, and his brother, and we move in and we help and take care of things.

00:18:38.299 --> 00:18:43.019
We stabilize, we offer uh a stable environment.

00:18:43.180 --> 00:18:54.140
You know, I'm fixing dinner every night, I'm taking care of the littles while the other ones go to school, and we're trying to normalize life as much as we can for them.

00:18:54.779 --> 00:19:01.579
So I myself am observing things and behaviors.

00:19:01.660 --> 00:19:16.380
Now he knows this was the weirdest thing in it's like he knew I knew because it was one instance that I will never forget.

00:19:16.859 --> 00:19:21.180
That when we were in there, and like I said, we feel like we're in a fishbowl.

00:19:21.339 --> 00:19:25.660
So my husband happened to have to take my son out somewhere.

00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:30.859
Um, the boys are gone, the littles are are sleeping or something, taking a nap.

00:19:31.579 --> 00:19:43.259
And it's Drew and I in the house, and we're on the first floor, and in the first floor is where the office is when as soon as you walk in, and the window is right there.

00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:51.579
So I'm looking at the window as though I can see out of it, out the front window, and I'm just kind of standing there.

00:19:52.220 --> 00:20:00.940
And he comes in from the kitchen and he catches me just kind of, you know how you just kind of space out and and think about something.

00:20:01.740 --> 00:20:07.660
He happened to catch me and he came in and he said, What are you thinking about?

00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:18.380
And I just remembered telling him looking at him and telling him, I don't think you want to know what I'm thinking about.

00:20:20.859 --> 00:20:23.259
He looked at me and he turned around.

00:20:23.660 --> 00:20:24.299
And he walked away.

00:20:24.539 --> 00:20:24.700
Okay.

00:20:25.099 --> 00:20:25.660
So he knew.

00:20:25.819 --> 00:20:26.539
He knew you knew.

00:20:28.059 --> 00:20:39.740
But yet we had a truce that had to be implied because I kept taking care of those kids.

00:20:39.980 --> 00:20:41.500
And he kept coming home.

00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:45.579
And we kept doing this very surreal situation.

00:20:47.180 --> 00:20:48.220
Until he faked.

00:20:48.380 --> 00:20:59.740
Now the the reason that he needed someone there is he kept thinking that the police were going to come and pick him up because they could pick you up for 72 hours questioning and then release you.

00:20:59.900 --> 00:21:01.819
They can hold you for 72 hours.

00:21:02.059 --> 00:21:04.700
He kept thinking they were going to come and get him.

00:21:04.859 --> 00:21:07.099
And he didn't want to leave the kids by themselves.

00:21:07.259 --> 00:21:09.500
So that was the whole purpose of having someone there.

00:21:09.660 --> 00:21:14.140
Is in case they came and picked him up, he didn't have to worry about who was going to take care of the kids.

00:21:14.380 --> 00:21:15.740
So that was the purpose.

00:21:15.980 --> 00:21:21.180
So as time is going on and he's figuring out they're not going to come and get me.

00:21:21.420 --> 00:21:25.019
They're not coming to get me for that 72-hour question.

00:21:25.259 --> 00:21:31.339
I'm over here thinking, what in the actual is nobody talking to this man?

00:21:31.660 --> 00:21:41.420
Now, because we are his family, we're part of the suspect's family, nobody bothers to talk to us.

00:21:41.660 --> 00:21:43.660
Nobody bothers to come and call.

00:21:43.740 --> 00:22:02.940
And because we're living there, they assume that we support him or we're on his side or what and because we're not saying anything out there, like everybody else is, Sharon and everybody else carrying on like nuts, that somehow, you know, we must be on his side.

00:22:03.019 --> 00:22:13.660
And it's like, look, my my nieces and nephews do not need to hear me out there talking crap about their dad when they've already lost their mom.

00:22:13.740 --> 00:22:15.180
I don't give a shit what he's done.

00:22:15.339 --> 00:22:16.859
I can't go out there and do that.

00:22:17.019 --> 00:22:18.059
I it's not right.

00:22:18.140 --> 00:22:19.420
It's not healthy.

00:22:19.500 --> 00:22:21.660
Uh uh, I need to take them first, you know.

00:22:21.819 --> 00:22:25.740
So he figures out that they're not going to come and get him.

00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:31.740
So a couple days before Christmas, he kicks us out and he says, you know what?

00:22:32.299 --> 00:22:33.819
You guys are costing me too much.

00:22:33.900 --> 00:22:34.779
You need to go get a job.

00:22:34.940 --> 00:22:37.180
Because in the meantime, we'd lost our jobs.

00:22:37.500 --> 00:22:49.019
We had an opportunity of a lifetime because we had a patented product that we were about to get into a major retailer when Stacy went missing and when Drew went out there, we lost that opportunity.

00:22:49.180 --> 00:22:50.779
So now we're jobless.

00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:59.579
We've taken up our kid and taken him out of a school, and we came over here and we dealt with this situation, this crazy situation.

00:23:00.140 --> 00:23:06.380
And now you're telling me you're kicking me out because you can't lend me$50 and I'm too much of a pain in the ass for you.

00:23:07.259 --> 00:23:08.700
And that's exactly what he did.

00:23:08.940 --> 00:23:25.420
He kicked us out two days before Christmas and we went home to we wound up losing our house, we wound up losing our business, we wound up losing my son for just a little bit.

00:23:26.220 --> 00:23:28.140
He went through a very difficult time.

00:23:28.299 --> 00:23:28.940
We all did.

00:23:29.019 --> 00:23:32.460
I mean, still to this day, like I said, there's those repercussions.

00:23:33.339 --> 00:23:35.259
There's those repercussions.

00:23:36.140 --> 00:23:48.380
But in doing all of that and seeing what went on and seeing how it went on, and then going through the trial, I think is what really lit the fire.

00:23:48.539 --> 00:23:55.900
Knowing what Kathleen had gone through because we didn't talk, because we had gone through that business, so he separated us.

00:23:56.059 --> 00:24:03.900
And so there was no way for us to know all the havoc he was creating for her because we had already backed off ourselves.

00:24:04.140 --> 00:24:10.140
We don't want anything to do with this toxic man and this toxic situation you got going on.

00:24:10.299 --> 00:24:20.140
We knew that he had stuff because mom told us about it, but she scheduled different Christmases, she scheduled different things so that we didn't run into each other.

00:24:20.299 --> 00:24:28.380
Oh, that was a whole thing that went down that we knew how Drew could be.

00:24:28.539 --> 00:24:37.420
But when you're dealing with a narcissist, this is going to resonate to with anybody who's got who's dealing with one right now, who knows one.

00:24:39.900 --> 00:24:49.740
They are difficult to battle because they are not working within the moral realms that the rest of us use in terms of guidelines.

00:24:49.900 --> 00:25:00.220
When you have no guidelines, everything is open to you because you don't have any compunction about doing things that benefit you or that are going to hurt others because there's no empathy.

00:25:00.460 --> 00:25:00.940
That's right.

00:25:01.339 --> 00:25:02.299
Nothing there.

00:25:02.700 --> 00:25:04.619
So how do you fight that?

00:25:05.339 --> 00:25:07.500
You can't change that behavior.

00:25:07.740 --> 00:25:09.819
You can only change your own.

00:25:10.140 --> 00:25:18.140
So that's where we have to learn how do I navigate a relationship with someone I'm figuring out as a narcissist.

00:25:19.019 --> 00:25:19.339
Yeah.

00:25:19.579 --> 00:25:25.900
So that's where you know, now education becomes the most important thing.

00:25:26.140 --> 00:25:41.819
And now there is during that time period that going back to the um the trial, when we start to figure out all the things that Kathleen tried to do, and it's all a part of the training that I do with the evidentiary abuse affidavit.

00:25:41.900 --> 00:25:45.900
So that's what we're gonna get to next is the evidentiary abuse affidavit.

00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:48.140
So we're in a trial.

00:25:48.700 --> 00:25:53.980
Drew has now uh Stacy's missing.

00:25:54.220 --> 00:25:59.099
Everybody comes out, they exhume Kathy's body.

00:26:00.299 --> 00:26:00.700
Dr.

00:26:00.859 --> 00:26:07.660
Michael Biden, who did OJ Simpson's trial, comes out and determines that this was a homicide.

00:26:07.819 --> 00:26:14.619
So now we have a trial because now he is arrested for the murder of his third wife, Kathleen Tavia.

00:26:16.140 --> 00:26:24.859
And then it comes out that that, yes, Stacey may have known that Drew did what he did, or she surmised based on his behaviors and what happened.

00:26:25.180 --> 00:26:25.339
Okay.

00:26:25.819 --> 00:26:29.660
So now he caused her to go missing so that she could not testify against him.

00:26:29.740 --> 00:26:31.980
And that's forfeiture by wrongdoing.

00:26:33.099 --> 00:26:36.380
And so that allows for hearsay to come in.

00:26:36.779 --> 00:26:47.500
So during this period of time, is all these things that's that Kathleen had put out there, letters, uh, things she had told people, pictures she had taken, emails.

00:26:47.660 --> 00:26:49.740
I mean, there was all these things.

00:26:50.059 --> 00:26:55.180
Now, during this period of time is a woman named Susan Murphy Milano.

00:26:55.740 --> 00:27:00.539
And she is a domestic violence awareness advocate that works in Chicago.

00:27:00.779 --> 00:27:04.140
And this woman was a powerhouse.

00:27:04.460 --> 00:27:13.259
She was a tall Irish redhead that wore red heels and just commanded the room.

00:27:13.500 --> 00:27:14.539
I love this.

00:27:14.779 --> 00:27:17.420
Oh, she God love that woman.

00:27:17.500 --> 00:27:18.779
God, do I miss her?

00:27:19.019 --> 00:27:20.700
So she writes a book.

00:27:20.859 --> 00:27:23.099
She's she's working in the in this thing.

00:27:23.259 --> 00:27:26.140
And okay, so there's a whole story for her.

00:27:27.019 --> 00:27:40.859
Susan's father was a Chicago police officer who wound up killing her mother, trying to kill Susan, and then killing himself and setting the house on fire.

00:27:41.180 --> 00:27:48.859
This is where her advocacy comes from, is she knows there's better ways to do things because she got blamed by the police officers later.

00:27:49.019 --> 00:27:54.460
Well, you, you, you, you, and the hello, you guys all covered it.

00:27:54.700 --> 00:27:55.660
They blamed her?

00:27:55.819 --> 00:27:56.539
They blamed her.

00:27:56.700 --> 00:27:58.299
Oh man, they went after her bad.

00:27:58.539 --> 00:28:05.180
So keep in mind, we're talking the 70s and things like that, you know, or uh the early 80s.

00:28:05.420 --> 00:28:09.740
You know, I mean, these are the times where she's working and because she did 30 years worth of work.

00:28:09.819 --> 00:28:11.019
Well, she writes a book.

00:28:11.099 --> 00:28:13.420
It's called Moving Out, Moving Out.

00:28:14.220 --> 00:28:24.220
And in this book is the beginning of the evidentiary abuse affidavit, or EAA for short, is what we call it now.

00:28:24.539 --> 00:28:31.099
So in it, she starts saying, okay, the relationship has gone wrong.

00:28:31.259 --> 00:28:31.819
Now what?

00:28:31.980 --> 00:28:37.579
And she's starting to walk people through what do you need to gather in terms of information.

00:28:37.819 --> 00:28:41.900
She's putting together what will be the beginnings of safety planning.

00:28:42.220 --> 00:28:44.140
And she writes a book about it.

00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:46.859
So now the trial is going on.

00:28:47.019 --> 00:28:51.420
She sees Drew, it's triggering her because it reminds her of her dad.

00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:53.420
She reaches out to me.

00:28:53.500 --> 00:28:58.779
So going back to the beginning of True Crime TV, there's so many elements to this, it's not.

00:28:59.180 --> 00:29:02.940
So this is a beginning of forums, true crime forums.

00:29:03.259 --> 00:29:05.500
You know how they've, oh my God, they're everywhere now.

00:29:05.660 --> 00:29:05.900
Yeah.

00:29:06.220 --> 00:29:07.420
This was like at the beginning.

00:29:07.500 --> 00:29:11.019
So there was one called findstacypeterson.com.

00:29:12.140 --> 00:29:21.500
So me and my investigative, you know, low-key trying to be all secret squirrel kind of thing, I I get on one of these forums, and that's the one I pop on.

00:29:22.779 --> 00:29:31.180
I give myself a name on there, and I uh start looking around to see, does anybody know anything?

00:29:31.339 --> 00:29:32.539
You know, what can I find out?

00:29:32.700 --> 00:29:38.299
Um, like I said, I'm trying to piece together what's what happened.

00:29:38.460 --> 00:29:40.220
What can I what can I find out?

00:29:40.380 --> 00:29:44.460
What can I possibly do to help find her?

00:29:44.700 --> 00:30:01.500
Because at this period of time is when she first goes missing, and I keep thinking to myself that she's cold and she's lonely, and that I need to bring her home.

00:30:02.220 --> 00:30:23.339
So I'm trying to find out information on these forums to see is there anything that I can do, any kind of information I can find, because the police are working on their stuff, but I know what I know about him and what can what all the things can I find out?

00:30:23.579 --> 00:30:30.460
Well, on this forum is a woman who works with Susan.

00:30:31.099 --> 00:30:39.900
And so she's like, I need to introduce you to because she has something that if Kathleen would have had it, we wouldn't be going through this trial right now.

00:30:40.859 --> 00:30:54.700
So we set up a meeting, and the first time that Susan and I meet, and she's been doing this work for 30 years.

00:30:55.579 --> 00:31:06.220
I'm still in the midst of going through a tragedy, not realizing the implications of the platform that I have because I'm literally just going through everything.

00:31:06.539 --> 00:31:13.019
So we meet, and it was like oil and water.

00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:14.779
It did not go well.

00:31:24.299 --> 00:31:25.900
This woman's a bitch.

00:31:26.299 --> 00:31:27.819
Are you kidding me?

00:31:28.299 --> 00:31:32.700
She's like yelling at me, and you know, and I'm still raw and whatnot.

00:31:32.859 --> 00:31:38.779
She goes back and she's like, This girl is uh just doesn't get it.

00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:40.859
She wants to do all this dumb stuff.

00:31:41.980 --> 00:31:43.019
You know, she's going back.

00:31:43.180 --> 00:31:47.180
And it my poor, our poor mutual friend's like, oh shit, that didn't go well.

00:31:47.740 --> 00:31:48.619
That was a little unexpected.

00:31:48.940 --> 00:31:50.539
They're thinking this is going to be my.

00:31:50.859 --> 00:31:55.259
So she's like, okay, you guys, just take a deep breath, both of you.

00:31:55.339 --> 00:31:57.980
You're both very strong personalities.

00:31:59.420 --> 00:32:02.460
Let me see what kind of damage control I can do.

00:32:02.700 --> 00:32:04.220
And so, God bless her.

00:32:04.299 --> 00:32:07.660
She goes back, she talks to me, she talks to Susan.

00:32:08.380 --> 00:32:12.460
A couple weeks later, we try this again because now there's these things that are gone on in child.

00:32:12.619 --> 00:32:13.339
It's like, you know what?

00:32:13.500 --> 00:32:13.980
Screw that.

00:32:14.059 --> 00:32:15.019
We got to figure this out.

00:32:15.180 --> 00:32:16.700
So we meet again.

00:32:17.259 --> 00:32:19.339
This time it goes a whole lot better.

00:32:19.579 --> 00:32:22.539
We both have a little bit of a changed perspective.

00:32:22.700 --> 00:32:23.740
We we get it now.

00:32:23.900 --> 00:32:32.380
She gets that I'm still raw, I'm still going through things, I'm still at the beginning of where you were years ago, you know.

00:32:32.539 --> 00:32:42.779
So and I now get where she's at because I now understand after 18 years of doing this, where she was.

00:32:43.019 --> 00:32:48.779
So it gives me the benefit of understanding her her her viewpoint at that period of time a little bit better.

00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:53.900
You know, but it was so funny to go through at the time because my poor friend had to go through so much.

00:32:54.220 --> 00:32:55.180
She's like, oh my God.

00:32:57.019 --> 00:33:02.220
So we start where so then she writes a book called Times Up.

00:33:02.539 --> 00:33:03.579
How appropriate.

00:33:03.900 --> 00:33:05.099
Times Up.

00:33:05.660 --> 00:33:06.859
Enough of this.

00:33:07.339 --> 00:33:09.980
And and I and this tells it's so yes.

00:33:10.140 --> 00:33:14.460
So she in it is the first written version of the EAA.

00:33:15.099 --> 00:33:21.180
Ah, so this is this is the first iteration of the evidentiary abuse affidavit.

00:33:21.339 --> 00:33:23.819
And I'm thinking this woman is brilliant.

00:33:24.619 --> 00:33:25.420
What the hell?

00:33:25.500 --> 00:33:30.380
If if Kathleen would have had this, Stacy might still be here.

00:33:30.940 --> 00:33:38.700
So when we say that something like this can literally change lives, we can change lives, we can change outcomes.

00:33:38.940 --> 00:33:48.299
We can make Stacy, Kathy, and Susan's names, the ones that we remember, as opposed to his.

00:33:49.099 --> 00:33:49.579
The purpose.

00:33:49.819 --> 00:33:49.980
Yeah.

00:33:50.299 --> 00:33:50.539
Yeah.

00:33:50.779 --> 00:33:51.980
We make it them.

00:33:52.619 --> 00:34:03.819
We make it so that they're representative of so many of the statistics that are out there that instead of being a percentage, let's call them a name.

00:34:03.900 --> 00:34:07.819
Let's call them Susan, Stacy, and Kathleen if we need to.

00:34:08.940 --> 00:34:21.819
Because we need to start associating this much better with names and faces like theirs so that we understand what the implications of this are and what this can do to save more women like them.

00:34:23.739 --> 00:34:31.820
And so that's it's been a very gradual commitment to mission to get us, you know, for the work that I do.

00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:33.980
This wasn't anything I intended on doing.

00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:40.139
I am certainly none of the education that I have is is, you know, I there isn't a whole lot to it.

00:34:40.219 --> 00:34:42.380
It's the it's the school of hard knocks.

00:34:42.539 --> 00:34:46.940
It's the school of, well, hey, that didn't work, so let's try something else.

00:34:47.179 --> 00:35:08.300
But it's taking the work that Susan, it was her life's work, and it has the ability to make such a difference for so many that are dealing with any kind of abuse because we tend to think of it domestic violence.

00:35:08.619 --> 00:35:13.980
We think of it it needs to be a bruise or it needs to be physical, right?

00:35:14.139 --> 00:35:26.860
You know, so we it it the term violence kind of implies that to us, and we don't recognize that abuse is so much more than just violence, or it's violence of a quiet kind.

00:35:27.260 --> 00:35:27.739
That's right.

00:35:27.980 --> 00:35:28.380
That's right.

00:35:28.460 --> 00:35:33.019
And usually the uh physical violence is it comes toward the end.

00:35:33.179 --> 00:35:46.059
And now the end can be six months, it can be six years, whatever that timeline is, but it's usually when there's a loss of control from the abuser, whatever they were doing before is no longer working.

00:35:46.219 --> 00:35:47.659
They're always separated up from the eye.

00:35:49.260 --> 00:35:50.219
That's right.

00:35:51.260 --> 00:35:53.900
That's when it's so dangerous during those periods of time.

00:35:53.980 --> 00:36:04.699
And this is where the EAA, in its essence, is going to help us make a difference for just those people that are in that kind of danger so that we can put together.

00:36:04.860 --> 00:36:07.340
So, what the evidentiary abuse have to David Government.

00:36:07.500 --> 00:36:10.139
Yeah, we're all on the edges of our seeds waiting to find out.

00:36:11.579 --> 00:36:12.460
Let's do this.

00:36:12.699 --> 00:36:13.019
Okay.

00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:14.940
So here's how it works.

00:36:15.019 --> 00:36:16.619
And Susan was brilliant.

00:36:16.780 --> 00:36:20.219
I mean, really just I so ahead of her time.

00:36:21.019 --> 00:36:37.980
And it was so difficult for her to get into the environments that now I've got to say that I am lucky enough that they are not only just opening their doors, they're opening windows, they're asking other people to walk into the room, they're sending me to other doors.

00:36:38.699 --> 00:36:40.300
It is amazing.

00:36:40.539 --> 00:36:43.659
And I wish, you know, I know she sees it now.

00:36:43.900 --> 00:36:45.980
She was just so ahead of her time.

00:36:46.219 --> 00:37:01.179
So, what the EAA does, and I want everybody, you know, if if you do nothing else today with what the information is that we're going to present to you, tell one other person about the EAA and about document the abuse.

00:37:01.260 --> 00:37:08.699
That's what I well, there's my call to action before I say anything else, is tell someone else.

00:37:09.260 --> 00:37:11.420
Check it out yourself and then tell someone else.

00:37:11.659 --> 00:37:19.659
Because we all know someone, or someone, or can help someone who's dealing with domestic violence or or abuse of any kind.

00:37:20.219 --> 00:37:24.860
So the EAA, evidentiary abuse affidavit.

00:37:25.099 --> 00:37:39.420
So now in a legal form, we have the ability to put together any kind of information that helps to corroborate, validate what you are stating in a form.

00:37:39.579 --> 00:37:43.659
And it is safe, it is secure, and it is free.

00:37:43.900 --> 00:37:54.059
Because we didn't want victims to have to figure out am I going to pay for a gallon of gas, a gallon of milk, or am I going to tell my story in a way that may save me?

00:37:54.780 --> 00:37:58.139
Or how do I pay for this month to month?

00:37:58.300 --> 00:38:01.739
Or what happens if I can't pay for it month to month?

00:38:01.980 --> 00:38:09.179
Or what happens if, you know, or how do I hide this if I if I download it, you know, from the app store?

00:38:09.900 --> 00:38:14.539
Here's the very cool parts of this is this is a web-based app.

00:38:14.619 --> 00:38:20.860
So with a username, a password, and access to the internet, you can get on there.

00:38:21.019 --> 00:38:22.539
So you start an account.

00:38:22.699 --> 00:38:26.780
We're only going to ask you for your email, so we've got a way to tie it to something.

00:38:27.019 --> 00:38:28.780
We will never email you.

00:38:29.179 --> 00:38:31.099
We will never contact you.

00:38:31.340 --> 00:38:34.300
So just so you know, so you don't ever have to worry about that.

00:38:34.619 --> 00:38:42.059
If you email us for information and fill out a form that says, hey, I want you to contact me, we will.

00:38:42.699 --> 00:38:45.820
But you don't don't ever worry that we're going to send you anything.

00:38:45.900 --> 00:38:46.219
We won't.

00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:51.099
That's a really important piece because you never know what is getting monitored.

00:38:51.340 --> 00:38:51.579
Right.

00:38:51.739 --> 00:38:55.019
And the thing is, is that's why web-based.

00:38:56.539 --> 00:39:00.380
Drew's brother Paul is a God love that man.

00:39:00.699 --> 00:39:04.460
Uh is the one that helped figure out the web-based app.

00:39:04.619 --> 00:39:05.500
Not help figure it out.

00:39:05.579 --> 00:39:06.539
He's the one that helped create it.

00:39:06.619 --> 00:39:07.659
He's the one that created it.

00:39:07.820 --> 00:39:14.460
So we had the book, we had the the written, which we still have as a PDF on the website, by the way.

00:39:14.619 --> 00:39:18.780
If anybody wants to download it, they don't want to mess with the the form.

00:39:18.860 --> 00:39:19.659
That's fine too.

00:39:19.820 --> 00:39:20.940
Go ahead and download it.

00:39:21.019 --> 00:39:21.980
You know, print it out.

00:39:22.059 --> 00:39:23.820
We don't care how you do it, just do it.

00:39:23.900 --> 00:39:25.340
You know, that's all we're asking.

00:39:25.500 --> 00:39:26.300
Just do it.

00:39:26.460 --> 00:39:31.579
And and so it is a very safe and secure platform.

00:39:31.659 --> 00:39:32.619
We've edited it.

00:39:32.780 --> 00:39:34.619
It's HIPAA certified.

00:39:36.300 --> 00:39:37.420
These are never opened.

00:39:37.500 --> 00:39:39.019
So it's like a digital diary.

00:39:39.179 --> 00:39:42.139
You go in there, you you put your information.

00:39:42.539 --> 00:39:44.460
It's a three-page form.

00:39:44.619 --> 00:39:45.980
It's very simple.

00:39:46.460 --> 00:39:50.539
So the first page is about you, the abused.

00:39:50.699 --> 00:39:52.699
We're going to ask you for your information.

00:39:52.860 --> 00:39:56.380
We're going to ask you for our uh identifying factors.

00:39:56.539 --> 00:40:00.940
We're going to ask for, you know, car, are there children?

00:40:01.099 --> 00:40:22.539
Are there, you know, uh there's information on there that in the event that someone goes missing or something happens to them, we have that information very quickly and can get it to the appropriate people that then can do something with it.

00:40:22.699 --> 00:40:28.219
So that's the Reason for the physical attributes and the things of that nature.

00:40:28.380 --> 00:40:36.940
You know what is so cool about the platform that we use is that going back to the fact that it's web-based.

00:40:37.179 --> 00:40:40.219
So now you don't have to worry about downloading it to your phone.

00:40:40.300 --> 00:40:42.539
It's never going to be found on your phone because it's web-based.

00:40:42.619 --> 00:40:44.139
So it doesn't stay on here.

00:40:44.300 --> 00:40:46.699
So I can go to my best friend's house.

00:40:46.780 --> 00:40:47.739
I can go to the library.

00:40:47.820 --> 00:40:49.579
I can go to school.

00:40:49.820 --> 00:40:51.739
I can go to mom's house.

00:40:51.820 --> 00:40:58.780
I can go wherever there is internet, you can go and take your username and your password and get back on there.

00:40:58.860 --> 00:41:04.139
And then there's a returning user part so that you don't have to go through the whole thing all over again.

00:41:04.380 --> 00:41:09.179
Just go to the returning user and then put it, pop it in, and it'll pick it up.

00:41:09.260 --> 00:41:13.579
There's a save progress on both uh top and bottom.

00:41:13.820 --> 00:41:27.900
There is a quick exit on both top and bottom so that if you need to pop off and the save progress so that if you need to just again pop off real quick because we know time is of the essence, that there's a way to do that.

00:41:28.539 --> 00:41:40.539
So we tried to keep in mind all the very variables that go with the concerns of a of a victim or a survivor uh on how they're trying to navigate this.

00:41:40.860 --> 00:41:45.019
So on the website is a like a prep page.

00:41:45.179 --> 00:42:04.139
So before you fill out the EAA, we're gonna tell you here's some of the things that you might want to get together before you even get on there, so that we can make the best use of your time and your effort, knowing that with victim survivors, that right there is probably their utmost concern because they are being tracked.

00:42:04.300 --> 00:42:05.579
Everything's being tracked.

00:42:05.739 --> 00:42:18.059
So if I can go to school with the kids and ask a teacher, ask to use the library, now I can just pop on there and do my stuff.

00:42:18.380 --> 00:42:18.940
That's brilliant.

00:42:19.900 --> 00:42:22.380
Here's another quick, oh, it gets better.

00:42:22.619 --> 00:42:31.980
So as you're up, I know, and this is so, you know, and I there's times where I feel terrible about what I get excited about, but it's like this is so cool.

00:42:32.219 --> 00:42:44.380
And the fact that I get to do this with what we went through and get to represent these women in a way that can get me this excited is just amazing to me.

00:42:44.460 --> 00:42:49.179
It's a gift, it's a gift I get to do, you know, that I get to do this.

00:42:49.340 --> 00:42:55.420
They're not here to do it, but I get to do that and represent for that, not only just them, but who they represent.

00:42:55.659 --> 00:42:58.940
All those statistics, because that's what they represent.

00:42:59.099 --> 00:43:08.300
Every time you read 78%, that's 78 Stacy, Kathy, and Susan's is how we need to think about that, you know.

00:43:08.380 --> 00:43:13.019
So this is why it excites me to think I can make those statistics go down.

00:43:13.900 --> 00:43:14.139
Yes.

00:43:17.179 --> 00:43:19.739
So you can go on there.

00:43:19.820 --> 00:43:31.340
And if let's just say um you're on your iPhone or you're on your iPad, you're on a you're on a device that offers you the ability to take a picture.

00:43:33.340 --> 00:43:37.260
It is uh, so we're gonna ask you to take a picture of yourself.

00:43:37.420 --> 00:43:42.780
Maybe if you have evidence that needs to be uploaded, you can do it from a file.

00:43:43.019 --> 00:43:47.099
So you could put it on a jump drive, you can pull it off of your computer.

00:43:47.340 --> 00:44:04.539
But if you're on here and let's say there is a picture of something you need to take, and you are in the platform, it's only using the phone as the vehicle by which it's importing the information so it doesn't stay on the phone on the photos.

00:44:05.019 --> 00:44:13.260
It's bypassing your photos and going straight to the platform so you don't have to worry about, oh shit, and I erase that picture.

00:44:14.619 --> 00:44:19.739
You know, because I I I don't want anybody to worry about that.

00:44:19.900 --> 00:44:23.659
It was like, oh crap, because I know I've done stuff and it's like, oh shit.

00:44:24.300 --> 00:44:24.860
Can I do that?

00:44:25.340 --> 00:44:27.420
Yes, like I said, don't mind my French.

00:44:27.659 --> 00:44:29.659
Everybody, I have terrible French.

00:44:29.900 --> 00:44:33.340
I I speak great truck driver, I guess.

00:44:37.179 --> 00:44:38.460
I don't know how it's funny.

00:44:38.699 --> 00:44:39.579
So don't mind me.

00:44:39.900 --> 00:44:43.099
But the thing is, is that you know, you have that ability now.

00:44:43.260 --> 00:44:47.179
So you can go on there and let's say there's a hole in the wall.

00:44:48.059 --> 00:44:53.420
I don't want to make it real obvious, but I have my phone on me like this, and I can take a picture and I'm in the platform.

00:44:54.139 --> 00:44:58.539
Now I it's going straight to there and I can save it to there.

00:44:59.019 --> 00:45:12.380
Here, the other part being that anything that I so if I have, let's say, an email, a screen capture, a text message, everything can be uploaded to that, and it's holding it all for you.

00:45:12.539 --> 00:45:21.260
So now the big another big concern we're we're eliminating is every time, you know, because victims have stuff here, they have stuff there.

00:45:21.340 --> 00:45:22.619
I have to hide everything.

00:45:22.780 --> 00:45:28.300
And then what happens if I have to run out the door and that abuser is gonna find my stuff, there it goes.

00:45:28.780 --> 00:45:31.019
Now I gotta start all over again.

00:45:31.260 --> 00:45:33.739
I don't know, you know, what if I can't recreate that?

00:45:33.820 --> 00:45:35.260
What if I can't redo that?

00:45:35.420 --> 00:45:38.699
What if I get nope, we got it.

00:45:38.860 --> 00:45:41.500
It's a digital diary, it's there for you.

00:45:41.659 --> 00:45:43.340
It's gonna hold all your information.

00:45:43.500 --> 00:45:57.340
You upload those pictures, those screen captures, those whatever it is that you have, because people find insidious ways to do things, to do terrible things to people in that search for power and control.

00:45:57.500 --> 00:45:59.099
Yeah, I believe I know.

00:46:00.940 --> 00:46:01.579
I know.

00:46:01.820 --> 00:46:05.900
So we want to give everybody the chance to fight that.

00:46:06.059 --> 00:46:23.420
So in in putting down all your evidence, in in creating an EAA, in getting that information out of yourself and validating to you when you see it written to say, I'm not crazy.

00:46:23.820 --> 00:46:27.739
I I know what I'm going through is abuse.

00:46:28.300 --> 00:46:34.940
There is a wonderful um resource called love isrespect.org.

00:46:35.739 --> 00:46:50.139
I talk about it when I do my trainings and especially when I'm talking to younger generations of people, is loveisrespect.org because they do a fantastic job of doing uh green, yellow, and red lights.

00:46:50.380 --> 00:46:59.579
You know, we teach our kids driver's ed because they're gonna be in a 5,000-pound car that either is gonna hurt them or hurt someone else if they don't follow the rules of the road.

00:46:59.739 --> 00:47:03.260
Why in the hell are we not teaching our children the same thing?

00:47:03.500 --> 00:47:04.780
They are that car.

00:47:05.659 --> 00:47:08.139
They are they should know the rules of the road.

00:47:08.300 --> 00:47:10.860
They should know the rules of this road right here.

00:47:11.340 --> 00:47:13.820
You are like that 5,000-pound car.

00:47:14.380 --> 00:47:25.420
You can hurt yourself or someone else in devastating ways if you don't know any better, if you don't know those green lights, those yellow lights.

00:47:25.820 --> 00:47:29.820
Love is respect gives you a very good idea of how that should go.

00:47:30.059 --> 00:47:31.980
Everybody should share that resource.

00:47:32.300 --> 00:47:33.260
I love them.

00:47:35.099 --> 00:47:35.900
I agree with you.

00:47:36.059 --> 00:47:41.420
I mean, if we're going to yeah, the best, the best way to stop domestic violence is to prevent it.

00:47:41.579 --> 00:47:50.300
I don't know that it would ever be fully preventable, but we need to start when kids are young, when they're learning relationships and what they're learning what's appropriate.

00:47:50.380 --> 00:47:51.820
I have checked out that website before.

00:47:51.900 --> 00:47:52.860
It is fantastic.

00:47:53.099 --> 00:47:53.900
Oh, I love them.

00:47:53.980 --> 00:48:13.500
I like I said, we do a lot of trainings because we want to get this in the hands of everyone because it doesn't matter if that abuse happened 10 years ago, if it happened 10 days ago, if it happened 50 years ago, and you're still carrying that stuff around with you, let it go.

00:48:13.739 --> 00:48:15.019
It's a digital diary.

00:48:15.179 --> 00:48:16.860
Nobody sees it but you.

00:48:17.340 --> 00:48:19.340
We never opened these.

00:48:19.980 --> 00:48:23.340
Here's how this works as far as your evidence goes.

00:48:24.699 --> 00:48:27.900
The way we figure it is you're here to speak on your own behalf.

00:48:28.059 --> 00:48:31.739
If you are, then this is what how you hold that evidence.

00:48:32.300 --> 00:48:36.539
Now, is this a panacea or uh an end-all be all?

00:48:36.619 --> 00:48:37.659
No, it is not.

00:48:37.980 --> 00:48:38.940
We're gonna be honest.

00:48:39.099 --> 00:48:42.940
It's a way, it's a digital diary, it's a way to hold all your information.

00:48:44.940 --> 00:48:52.539
In the event that something happens and you're going to trial and you're here to testify on your own behalf, you have the assembly of this information.

00:48:52.699 --> 00:48:53.820
Is it discoverable?

00:48:54.059 --> 00:48:54.699
Yes.

00:48:55.340 --> 00:48:57.420
It's a provider of information.

00:48:57.659 --> 00:48:58.699
But what does it do?

00:48:58.860 --> 00:49:04.300
It makes someone have to answer for all the various incidents that you now have.

00:49:04.860 --> 00:49:21.980
So while it may be, you know, because I want to I want to let people know that it has that possibility, but that's only in the way that you move forward on some criminal cases or things like that.

00:49:22.059 --> 00:49:23.659
We haven't had that happen yet.

00:49:23.900 --> 00:49:27.099
Nobody's had to to open anything yet.

00:49:27.420 --> 00:49:31.900
So, you know, it's still doing pretty good in terms of that.

00:49:32.139 --> 00:49:36.380
As far as sharing with anyone, that is not our job.

00:49:36.699 --> 00:49:38.460
We never open these.

00:49:39.019 --> 00:49:41.260
We are like a library.

00:49:41.500 --> 00:49:45.980
So we have the books, but we never open them.

00:49:46.219 --> 00:49:49.099
We're just the librarian that that holds them.

00:49:49.340 --> 00:49:56.059
And then in the event that someone goes missing, like Stacy.

00:49:56.619 --> 00:50:02.139
So we're gonna take Stacy, the difference between Stacy and someone else's case.

00:50:02.300 --> 00:50:03.820
So Stacy goes missing.

00:50:05.420 --> 00:50:14.059
Stacy told somebody that she filled out an EAA because what we do is we ask you to tell one other person that you trust, hey, I filled out an EAA.

00:50:14.300 --> 00:50:16.460
If anything happens to me, go to the cops.

00:50:17.260 --> 00:50:19.900
Go to somebody, tell them I filled out an EAA.

00:50:20.380 --> 00:50:21.739
They can contact us.

00:50:22.780 --> 00:50:40.300
So with a valid missing persons report or a homicide report to which we can now know that this is in the system, in the in the law enforcement system and in the legal system.

00:50:42.539 --> 00:50:45.420
We can then be contacted.

00:50:45.579 --> 00:50:53.099
So they can contact us and they say, okay, um, I have, you know, Stacy went missing, she's not here to speak on her behalf.

00:50:53.340 --> 00:50:59.579
Caskin, Cassandra could have gone to me and said, or gone to the police and said, hey, she filled out any I contact them.

00:50:59.739 --> 00:51:05.900
So now they get a hold of me and they show me or show document the abuse, the missing person's report.

00:51:06.059 --> 00:51:09.260
So now that validates that they have an open report.

00:51:09.420 --> 00:51:12.219
That person is not here to speak on their own behalf.

00:51:12.380 --> 00:51:14.380
So now I can answer yes or no.

00:51:14.539 --> 00:51:15.579
Do we have one?

00:51:15.739 --> 00:51:19.019
So all that does is allow me to answer yes or no.

00:51:19.659 --> 00:51:23.340
So if I were to answer yes, I do.

00:51:24.619 --> 00:51:32.619
Now, what they would do is they would seek a subpoena that would then allow me to release the information.

00:51:33.019 --> 00:51:41.179
Now, here's something that we did add to the EAA was the ability to have permissions for sharing.

00:51:41.500 --> 00:51:41.820
Okay.

00:51:41.980 --> 00:51:43.260
I was just about to ask that.

00:51:43.500 --> 00:51:48.940
Yes, we do have, and it is outside of the platform.

00:51:49.340 --> 00:51:57.980
Now, the reason that we did that was let's say in the, you know, we're we're thinking of all these different variables in different situations.

00:51:58.139 --> 00:52:04.539
So we're trying to think, what are the different ways that that victims might come at this or want to use this?

00:52:04.780 --> 00:52:09.739
Or law enforcement, the judicial system, what what's going to benefit them?

00:52:09.980 --> 00:52:24.940
So there are times when a victim will go to, let's say, a prosecutor, state's attorney's office, and they kind of want to share this information, but they don't want to tell the abuser, I want to share this information.

00:52:25.420 --> 00:52:32.940
Or they've check marked the box at a time where they were mad enough, they were like, okay, yes, I want somebody to know when this happens.

00:52:33.099 --> 00:52:39.099
So now there's been an elevated incident because we know each time it goes into the system, there's an elevation.

00:52:39.260 --> 00:52:40.139
There's a reason.

00:52:40.300 --> 00:52:42.139
Now this is four, this is five.

00:52:42.300 --> 00:52:53.900
When you're getting to those instances, the levels of violence in whatever manner that they're at, like you said, now there's there's a total loss and they're feeling it.

00:52:54.139 --> 00:53:02.219
So now it's the desperation is elevated, as is the sense of violence that needs to come along with that.

00:53:02.860 --> 00:53:11.019
So now they they've gotten there, but now this person, so now they've they check marked that permissions for sharing at time four.

00:53:11.260 --> 00:53:16.940
They're at time five, and now they're scared and they've got this person there, and they're like, no, I don't want to share that.

00:53:17.019 --> 00:53:17.900
I don't want to share that.

00:53:17.980 --> 00:53:18.460
Never mind.

00:53:18.539 --> 00:53:21.019
I don't want to tell you guys, I'm gonna back off.

00:53:22.619 --> 00:53:27.019
If that permission for sharing is checkmarked, I can give it to them.

00:53:28.860 --> 00:53:30.300
I don't need their permission.

00:53:30.460 --> 00:53:31.739
I already got it.

00:53:32.780 --> 00:53:33.019
Okay.

00:53:33.340 --> 00:53:35.500
So now what that does is that releases them.

00:53:35.579 --> 00:53:43.179
They can honestly say to their perpetrator, I did not say that they could do this wink-wink, you know, because at some period of time they did.

00:53:43.579 --> 00:53:44.139
Right.

00:53:44.539 --> 00:53:48.380
So we captured that during that period of time.

00:53:49.099 --> 00:54:11.820
The other thing, I mean, that like I said, there are so many cool things about what we the platform that we're using, what Susan, you know, put into this so that we could could use for victims to be able to use their own information to gather all that they could to prove that this is what's going on with me.

00:54:12.460 --> 00:54:26.059
You know, was all the the ability to put all of these variables together so that regardless of whatever the instances, so we we had talked to states attorneys, we had talked to prosecutors, you know, hey, what's gonna make this easier?

00:54:26.139 --> 00:54:29.260
And there's like, well, there's instances where they they recant.

00:54:29.500 --> 00:54:31.659
So we need something that's gonna add to that, you know.

00:54:31.739 --> 00:54:33.260
So that does that with them.

00:54:33.500 --> 00:54:35.420
The pictures are gonna add to that.

00:54:35.659 --> 00:54:40.940
It doesn't matter when you did it, it doesn't matter how many times you deal with this kind of a situation.

00:54:41.179 --> 00:54:52.780
If you want, if you get out of one situation and you, as we know, sometimes happens, we will follow a pattern of behavior that allows us to then get into something else.

00:54:52.860 --> 00:54:54.219
You can fill out another one.

00:54:54.460 --> 00:54:55.500
We don't care.

00:54:56.619 --> 00:54:57.579
It is there.

00:54:58.059 --> 00:55:06.219
Like I said, you know, we're the librarians, nobody opens them, nobody looks at them, you don't have to worry about what information is in there.

00:55:06.699 --> 00:55:18.300
So there are just so many great ways that victims can feel heard even if it's just to themselves.

00:55:18.780 --> 00:55:27.900
Because sometimes you don't, you know, if they start writing this out at time three, they're now getting to time five.

00:55:29.739 --> 00:55:36.219
Even they're looking at what they wrote and they're figuring out, you know what, this was not where I wanted to go in my life.

00:55:36.380 --> 00:55:39.500
This was not what I thought I would be dealing with.

00:55:39.659 --> 00:55:41.980
Maybe I need to go look for help.

00:55:42.380 --> 00:56:00.139
You know, so we work with so many different organizations, and there are resources, you know, that we are a part of and and and participate in and ask people to look at and things like that so that we can we can provide that help also on on various other levels.

00:56:00.460 --> 00:56:06.139
But being able to tell people here, you can tell your story, no one judges you.

00:56:06.380 --> 00:56:27.420
It's there for you and you only until you decide that you want to share it with someone else, or use it to validate your story and who you are, and that you are important and and that other people are there for you and want you better for you, and want you to do better.

00:56:27.820 --> 00:56:38.699
And anything we can do to get you to that is what we want to do, you know, because that that's ultimately what it is is I I don't want someone else to go through what Stacy went through.

00:56:38.780 --> 00:56:42.300
I don't want someone else to go through what Kathleen went through.

00:56:42.380 --> 00:56:48.219
I don't want the kind of pain that drove Susan to have to do the work that she did.

00:56:48.619 --> 00:56:51.739
So this is where, you know, we can, we can make a difference.

00:56:51.900 --> 00:56:57.739
We've we've there are there are thousands of EAAs filled out already.

00:56:57.900 --> 00:57:05.739
I've been doing this work for probably 10 years, fairly consistently.

00:57:05.980 --> 00:57:10.860
I had to wait until Drew was in jail and could not get out.

00:57:11.260 --> 00:57:17.179
Because as my husband will put it, I was not a very good sister-in-law.

00:57:19.659 --> 00:57:31.420
So we need to make sure that I there wasn't anything I did for to that man or or or that caused him to be in jail.

00:57:32.219 --> 00:57:33.019
Nothing I did.

00:57:35.420 --> 00:57:36.940
Did I help him any no?

00:57:37.820 --> 00:57:37.980
No.

00:57:41.820 --> 00:57:47.659
When he how I found out about Stacey was he didn't call.

00:57:48.780 --> 00:57:53.019
You know, he he wound up on the TV.

00:57:54.059 --> 00:57:55.659
And that's how we found out.

00:57:56.300 --> 00:57:58.139
So he didn't even have the decency.

00:57:58.860 --> 00:58:03.260
So my concern for that man is is limited, to say the least.

00:58:03.579 --> 00:58:14.940
So the fact that I get to forget who he is and forget his name and and say it as as little as possible, as you can tell, he, him, whatever.

00:58:15.739 --> 00:58:16.059
Yeah.

00:58:16.219 --> 00:58:20.860
You know, so that it's it's their names that make that different.

00:58:21.420 --> 00:58:30.539
Well, so one thing I was thinking is, you know, how you can say you were saying you can just use it as a journal, whether you do anything with the information or not.

00:58:30.780 --> 00:58:36.940
I do want to say, as somebody who's who is a domestic violence survivor, I've lived through it.

00:58:37.099 --> 00:58:41.420
I've done a lot of work uh personally since then.

00:58:41.739 --> 00:58:47.739
And I've gotten to the point where now I have friends who are going through the same thing.

00:58:47.980 --> 00:58:50.619
I have friends who were kind of at the same level as me.

00:58:50.780 --> 00:58:54.059
We all went through it together and we all got out around the same time.

00:58:54.139 --> 00:59:06.059
But now I have friends who are currently in the beginning stages, and it's frustrating, you know, to know where it's going to lead and to not say, can you just listen to me?

00:59:06.219 --> 00:59:08.940
This is what's happening, but to be supportive.

00:59:09.179 --> 00:59:19.420
And I have one friend in particular who she she's understanding what's happening, and but she's not at that stage yet where she's ready to leave.

00:59:19.579 --> 00:59:21.500
And it has not gotten physical.

00:59:21.820 --> 00:59:28.940
But I told her, uh I think actually maybe just today, why don't you just start just documenting things?

00:59:29.340 --> 00:59:31.659
And she's like, Because I forget, don't I?

00:59:31.820 --> 00:59:33.500
And I said, Well, yeah, you forget.

00:59:33.739 --> 00:59:38.780
It's not that she's forgetting what happened, but she's forgetting how bad it was.

00:59:39.099 --> 00:59:46.460
You know, there's a term I recently learned called distorted nostalgia, where say they always ruined Christmas.

00:59:46.860 --> 00:59:55.019
And but then you look back at Christmas and you remember all the nice things about Christmas and you're able to minimize the bad stuff that happened.

00:59:55.099 --> 00:59:57.260
So it's it's a little bit of a distortion.

00:59:57.420 --> 01:00:00.780
And so she's not truly forgetting what happened.

01:00:00.860 --> 01:00:04.219
She's just in her mind, she's minimizing the bad times.

01:00:04.300 --> 01:00:06.059
So glossing things over.

01:00:06.300 --> 01:00:06.780
Yeah, yeah.

01:00:06.860 --> 01:00:12.699
So make them pal palatable to be able to deal with emotionally.

01:00:13.019 --> 01:00:13.659
Exactly.

01:00:13.900 --> 01:00:23.260
So to have that documentation, that timeline to be able to go back and see okay, I'm not imagining this happened before, then you can also.

01:00:23.820 --> 01:00:32.780
See the escalation that happens, and then that gut feeling that I think a lot of us have felt of this is going to get really bad.

01:00:33.099 --> 01:00:37.739
You can see that's not just a weird feeling, it's actually happening.

01:00:37.900 --> 01:00:39.420
Things are getting worse.

01:00:39.820 --> 01:00:44.380
There is a physical manifestation of that fear and and and of that concern.

01:00:44.619 --> 01:00:45.579
Here's okay.

01:00:45.659 --> 01:00:58.139
So here's something that in our frustration, because like you said, you know, you you know, but we've all if we've all done our work, we all know that people can only work from where they're at.

01:00:58.380 --> 01:01:02.619
We have to meet everybody where they're at, and we make no judgments about that.

01:01:02.860 --> 01:01:04.139
If you go back, you go back.

01:01:04.219 --> 01:01:04.699
That's okay.

01:01:04.780 --> 01:01:05.579
We're we're still here.

01:01:05.820 --> 01:01:06.139
That's right.

01:01:06.380 --> 01:01:07.019
We don't care.

01:01:07.739 --> 01:01:08.300
You're here.

01:01:08.460 --> 01:01:11.579
Whatever, whatever your decisions are, we understand.

01:01:12.300 --> 01:01:15.340
Here's something, though, that friends and family can do.

01:01:16.300 --> 01:01:20.940
If you're being sent information, you can fill one out on someone's behalf.

01:01:21.260 --> 01:01:21.420
Okay.

01:01:21.500 --> 01:01:22.380
I was about to ask that.

01:01:22.460 --> 01:01:23.340
That was one of our calls.

01:01:23.659 --> 01:01:26.860
All what you're doing is you're putting that timeline together.

01:01:27.019 --> 01:01:34.860
Maybe you're the corroborating or validating testimony to someone's story, because that has happened too.

01:01:35.019 --> 01:02:06.139
I mean, not in regard to the EAA in particular, but there was a woman who supported documentation because she was witnessing uh a young man who whose wife was being extremely abusive, and he was coming in and she was taking notes on her calendar when he was coming in with bruising or when he was how his behavior was on the phone when she would call and and how she was what her behavior patterns were when she was, you know, that she was witnessing.

01:02:07.980 --> 01:02:16.940
He wound up in a in a situation to which he uh was in the hospital, and she wound up corroborating his testimony.

01:02:17.579 --> 01:02:26.860
So now not only do we provide victim survivors a way to do this, so now I can't get you to do it because you're scared.

01:02:28.780 --> 01:02:39.900
Okay, let me then be the one to write everything down because you're sending it to me.

01:02:40.300 --> 01:02:46.059
And now I have proof on my phone so I can download it myself, and now you don't have to worry about it.

01:02:46.139 --> 01:02:55.260
So I'll tell you what, if you don't feel comfortable doing it, just send me everything and I'll set it up, I'll write everything out, and then you can just keep sending me things.

01:02:55.739 --> 01:02:56.860
So you can do that.

01:02:57.019 --> 01:03:07.900
So this the ability that the EAA has to change anyone's ability to help someone is amazing.

01:03:08.139 --> 01:03:14.059
So we are training the community because this is where the victim survivors are at.

01:03:14.219 --> 01:03:23.340
This is who's going to, you know, the health fairs, the resource fairs, the universities, the colleges, you know, anywhere that we can help spread this message.

01:03:23.579 --> 01:03:29.340
When we work with law enforcement, what we're doing with them is we have a QR card.

01:03:31.340 --> 01:03:40.780
So if anyone is on there and you want to look at that, and you can even take your phone right now and look at it, it will take you directly to the website.

01:03:41.179 --> 01:03:47.579
So now what we're doing is we're working with law enforcement because it's so simple as just taking a card with you.

01:03:47.739 --> 01:03:49.500
There's nothing extra you've got.

01:03:49.659 --> 01:03:50.860
I mean, it's a card.

01:03:50.940 --> 01:03:54.940
I do them in little plastic containers so that they can stick them in their pocket.

01:03:55.019 --> 01:04:12.059
They can stick them in the squad car, they can we're training people uh um to use them, training officers to use them and to recognize it and to ask people, you know, maybe you want to take this, things like that, so that we can get people directly to the site.

01:04:12.219 --> 01:04:21.260
So we have QR cards, so we're working with law enforcement, we're working with the judicial system, so we work with oh, I love this.

01:04:21.340 --> 01:04:23.179
I wonder if I have this around.

01:04:23.739 --> 01:04:33.260
So I work with the Family Violence Coordinating Council here in a um local county called DuPage.

01:04:33.900 --> 01:04:45.739
They have a QR code initiative where they've created all the various organizations that are available as resources, and they hand that out to victims.

01:04:47.019 --> 01:05:08.860
So everybody is on board with the whole QR code thing, with being able to get information out quickly and things that benefit the victim survivors in ways that were never available before.

01:05:09.179 --> 01:05:24.139
And now everybody's on board law enforcement, judicial system, community organizations, and inviting resources like ours to the table openly and and gladly, and what can you bring to us?

01:05:24.380 --> 01:05:25.659
And it's awesome.

01:05:25.900 --> 01:05:46.940
So, in all the various environments, medical, we're starting to see medical get involved because if we can get doctors, if we can get emergency room people to stay, you know, so as we get this awareness out there in the various states, we we're working all across the country.

01:05:47.179 --> 01:05:52.219
I've even got uh a documentary running right now in the UK.

01:05:52.539 --> 01:05:54.139
So we are international.

01:05:55.579 --> 01:06:17.659
So this is getting out there, so we're getting everybody recognition, we're getting the awareness out, we're getting everybody on board doing it in any way we can, whether it's training, conferences, speaking engagements, so that everyone's aware that this is out there and that they can use it.

01:06:17.820 --> 01:06:19.099
Just give us a call.

01:06:19.340 --> 01:06:20.619
Go on the website.

01:06:21.019 --> 01:06:26.940
I was actually just about to say, suggest hospitals and medical need to get involved too.

01:06:28.780 --> 01:06:31.739
And there's technologies that can be inherent.

01:06:31.820 --> 01:06:39.579
I mean, I'm finding out about technologies that are absolutely amazing out there, you know, like our friend Liz there and things like that.

01:06:39.739 --> 01:07:03.659
So I mean, just the things that we can do to make a difference in the landscape and to be able to offer hope and to be able to say your voice matters, your stories matter, and now you have a way at no cost to you and not having to make any kind of decisions other than, you know, can you commit to just telling your story?

01:07:03.900 --> 01:07:04.780
It matters.

01:07:05.019 --> 01:07:05.659
We care.

01:07:06.460 --> 01:07:08.940
And just keep it for yourself.

01:07:09.340 --> 01:07:16.380
And if it triggers you to go out there and look at those resources, they're out there for you.

01:07:16.699 --> 01:07:17.739
They're out there for you.

01:07:17.900 --> 01:07:18.380
We care.

01:07:18.539 --> 01:07:26.300
We don't, we're tired of hearing the names, we're tired of the Gabby Potitos, and we're tired of the micas, and we're tired.

01:07:26.460 --> 01:07:29.179
We're just tired enough already.

01:07:29.420 --> 01:07:31.179
We need to do something different.

01:07:31.420 --> 01:07:33.820
You know, we have domestic violence awareness month.

01:07:33.900 --> 01:07:36.780
We need domestic violence awareness action month.

01:07:37.179 --> 01:07:42.219
Yeah, you know that yes, yes, we're gonna build on that.

01:07:42.539 --> 01:07:45.420
I have a question about the EAA.

01:07:45.980 --> 01:07:47.340
Is there an age?

01:07:47.500 --> 01:07:50.219
Do you have to be a certain age to start documenting?

01:07:50.539 --> 01:07:57.420
Because you know, the unfortunate truth is kids are often uh victims of abuse as well.

01:07:57.739 --> 01:08:07.659
Of abuse with an affidavit, in order to get it uh notarized, I think you must be of uh legal age 18.

01:08:07.900 --> 01:08:08.219
Okay.

01:08:08.539 --> 01:08:10.780
However, okay, good.

01:08:10.940 --> 01:08:12.139
I'm assuming there's an hour.

01:08:12.619 --> 01:08:16.380
You can tell there's like after this.

01:08:16.539 --> 01:08:17.819
Okay, so however.

01:08:18.539 --> 01:08:31.260
So what we're working on right now is um I grabbed the domain Stacy's Daisies because daisies were Stacy's favorite flower.

01:08:31.500 --> 01:08:58.859
And we are creating a children's, you know, something that counselors can use, therapists can use within the realms of their offices, and have children to be able to use this in that manner, because then that adds another layer of confidentiality, because that being of the utmost importance always in terms of who's filling this out, who this serves.

01:08:59.020 --> 01:09:01.260
We want to make sure that everything stays confidential.

01:09:01.420 --> 01:09:13.739
So we're looking at the various confidentiality laws within all the different states that we can find the different ways to keep victims safest.

01:09:13.819 --> 01:09:51.020
You know, so if you're doing this in your therapist's office, if you're doing this in the counselor's office, if you're doing this in the child advocacy, you know, centers, if you're so there are certain places that offer you even more layers of confidentiality and of hope so that we can, yes, we will then be able to offer this as a way to to tell stories and to upload evidence and do it within a context that then makes it easy for the judicial system then.

01:09:52.380 --> 01:10:03.659
You know, we we need to work with them to make sure that whatever presentation of evidence may come, that it is within the realm that that makes it easy for them.

01:10:03.819 --> 01:10:45.739
So we're we're everything that we're creating is being created, keeping in mind how it's going to be used and how we can then best situate victim survivors in in telling their stories to then utilize that in the best manner possible, always keeping, like I said, confidentiality, security at the forefront of everything that we do, but also trying to work it so that everybody can take full advantage of what this has to offer and then getting it to children, get it because yes, the statistics there are just just horrifying.

01:10:45.979 --> 01:10:56.539
So again, there is something else that we can now be able to offer, you know, those who work within those realms an even better tool because that's what we are.

01:10:56.619 --> 01:10:59.020
We're a tool in everyone's toolbox.

01:10:59.340 --> 01:11:00.539
We are a resource.

01:11:00.859 --> 01:11:08.220
Yeah, I suppose it does get sticky with kids because then there's the mandatory reporting aspects as well.

01:11:08.939 --> 01:11:17.739
You have a lot of variables that you have to keep in mind legally, you know, in terms of presentation of evidence.

01:11:17.979 --> 01:11:20.300
You know, how is somebody going to be able to use this?

01:11:20.380 --> 01:11:28.140
Is if we're assembling this, we need to make sure that it's gonna be useful and that it does the work it's supposed to.

01:11:28.300 --> 01:11:36.779
Yes, it's a diary, but we want you to be able to use this diary in the best way possible at it at the highest efficiency that it can be used, you know.

01:11:36.939 --> 01:11:41.260
So we're always looking at those types of situations.

01:11:41.340 --> 01:11:43.739
So everything is forward thinking, just like Susan.

01:11:44.060 --> 01:11:44.380
Yeah.

01:11:44.539 --> 01:11:49.340
Well, and I wonder, I mean, I have no, I have no idea the answer to this.

01:11:49.500 --> 01:12:06.619
The um confidentiality, if there's confidentiality if a if a child goes and speaks with a school guidance counselor or the school social worker, if there's any, I mean, I wouldn't Well, here's what you do is you tell them about it, and then maybe they take it to their counselors.

01:12:06.859 --> 01:12:25.340
Or maybe, you know, so what we do is we need to, like I said, we need to make sure that we're not going to cause any unnecessary harm or have to lose anything to anyone, you know, to an abuser because it wasn't done right or it wasn't done well, you know.

01:12:25.420 --> 01:12:41.340
So keeping that at the forefront of everything that we do is making sure that everything works the way that Susan intended, you know, because she that she worked with a former federal prosecutor, a former federal judge in creating the evidentiary abuse affidavit.

01:12:41.420 --> 01:12:58.300
So this isn't just something that someone who had no legal knowledge or didn't know how the system worked, did she had worked in the system for years, actually even ran a DV underground railroad of sorts back in those days.

01:12:58.539 --> 01:13:04.460
I mean, she she knew how to move victims, she knew how to keep them safe, and that was the kind of work she did.

01:13:04.539 --> 01:13:07.180
I mean, she did some very dangerous things.

01:13:08.460 --> 01:13:16.779
I just lived in some very dangerous situations, but try to keep myself in a much safer manner than she did.

01:13:16.939 --> 01:13:32.539
I'm not, yeah, I'm not, you know, uh five foot eight and and or gosh, no, she was five foot ten and wore high heels, and like I said, had this gorgeous red hair and kicked dance and took names.

01:13:32.779 --> 01:13:43.180
And that's why we have what we have now as the evidentiary abuse affidavit and and how I get to do the work that I get to do is because of these women.

01:13:43.579 --> 01:13:48.380
Um, I finally just took a look at my notes because I've been so engrossed in this conversation.

01:13:48.539 --> 01:13:51.020
Uh so I actually did write down some questions.

01:13:51.260 --> 01:14:01.979
Um is there are there any local or federal legal considerations that victims need to take into account when actually laying this out?

01:14:02.220 --> 01:14:17.659
Yeah, actually before that, maybe explain because if people are just new to this domestic violence and realizing they're a victim or they may not know the whole legal process because that's a foreign, you know, world press.

01:14:18.220 --> 01:14:22.699
First and foremost, I think what we want to look at is this is a digital diary.

01:14:23.659 --> 01:14:30.380
So, regardless of whether, you know, I mean, we're we're thinking on the legal terms here at DTA.

01:14:30.939 --> 01:14:35.979
So we're gonna do what we can to make sure that all those kinds of things advance.

01:14:36.140 --> 01:14:38.939
What we want from you is just for you to tell your story.

01:14:39.260 --> 01:14:43.500
Not necessarily keeping in mind is am I gonna be able to use this legally and things like that?

01:14:43.659 --> 01:14:51.979
Maybe just first and foremost, just to get it out, just to start this process so that you can start to look at it.

01:14:52.220 --> 01:14:54.619
Is this something that I I need?

01:14:54.859 --> 01:15:22.300
You know, so first we want, you know, and and again, going back to the website, if you go and document the abuse, it helps spell out the various uh um things that that might come to mind, FAQs, you know, things like that, so that we can prepare you and we can talk to you about what to expect and the kinds of things that we're gonna want from you and so that they're not unexpected, things like that.

01:15:22.460 --> 01:15:24.699
So we're trying to keep those things in mind.

01:15:24.779 --> 01:15:31.899
So again, going back to you don't necessarily want to fill it out to the extent that you're gonna do it this legally.

01:15:32.060 --> 01:15:36.220
We want to get you just to get it out first, you know.

01:15:36.539 --> 01:15:38.380
So that that's the first thing.

01:15:38.460 --> 01:15:51.500
You know, as far as any other legal ramifications, there's really what it is, is there's going to be certain instances to which this can lend itself to fairly easily.

01:15:51.739 --> 01:15:54.779
Forfeiture by wrongdoing being the first one.

01:15:55.260 --> 01:16:03.659
Be easy peasy to get the EAA in under those kinds of circumstances because now you've made someone unavailable to testify against you.

01:16:03.819 --> 01:16:05.739
And that's forfeiture by wrongdoing.

01:16:05.899 --> 01:16:14.300
And that's what allowed originally uh the hearsay to come in from Neil Shorey during Kathleen's trial was hearsay.

01:16:14.539 --> 01:16:16.380
So looking at the various laws.

01:16:16.460 --> 01:16:29.500
So what it is is it's gonna be inherent to whatever state is using this to find the variations because there are variations from county to county to county, from state to state to state.

01:16:29.579 --> 01:16:33.500
So is there an end-all and be all as far as what our considerations are?

01:16:33.659 --> 01:16:36.060
No, but are we on good legal ground?

01:16:36.220 --> 01:16:37.260
Oh, hell yeah.

01:16:37.500 --> 01:16:38.060
Oh yeah.

01:16:38.220 --> 01:16:45.659
Like I said, she created this well, she knew what she was doing and and we're following her guidelines.

01:16:45.819 --> 01:16:54.140
And so I work with a lot of different entities and I'm training judicial systems on this.

01:16:54.300 --> 01:17:01.579
So I'm not really getting heavy feedback from them yet, as far as we can't do this.

01:17:01.739 --> 01:17:04.140
You know, they're asking me, how does this work?

01:17:04.300 --> 01:17:05.100
Who can we tell?

01:17:05.260 --> 01:17:09.899
And I'm working with state's attorney's offices and I'm working, I'm training various things.

01:17:10.060 --> 01:17:19.180
I was just at the um, just in September, trained on the EAA at the National Center for Victims of Crime.

01:17:19.420 --> 01:17:24.380
So got to present that's about uh six to seven hundred uh attendees there.

01:17:25.020 --> 01:17:30.380
Um, did the uh Q conference, the community united effort in North Carolina.

01:17:30.619 --> 01:17:37.899
They have they uh have a uh conference, and that's for uh families of the missing.

01:17:38.220 --> 01:17:39.500
So we've done it there.

01:17:39.579 --> 01:17:46.859
So I've been training uh in various places and do a lot by Zoom, things like that.

01:17:47.020 --> 01:17:55.899
So we're we're really getting out there in terms of the awareness and openness in the various environments.

01:17:56.060 --> 01:18:00.539
So I feel pretty confident that legally we're on pretty solid ground.

01:18:00.939 --> 01:18:02.939
Are there gonna be fights in the future?

01:18:03.180 --> 01:18:04.699
Oh, I'm sure.

01:18:04.939 --> 01:18:06.539
I'm sure, but that's okay.

01:18:06.699 --> 01:18:07.579
We're ready.

01:18:07.819 --> 01:18:11.739
Bring it, you know, because we're here to stand on behalf of victims.

01:18:11.819 --> 01:18:13.979
We that's that's where we're we are.

01:18:14.220 --> 01:18:20.460
And so whatever we have to do in order to protect the the sanctity of what they have, we will do.

01:18:20.619 --> 01:18:26.539
But you know, it should it's usable, it's a legal document, it can be notarized.

01:18:26.619 --> 01:18:31.100
Uh, we have some online notaries, I believe, listed on our website also.

01:18:31.260 --> 01:18:33.020
So you can do an online notary.

01:18:33.180 --> 01:18:37.899
If you're at work and you fill this out, you can have uh a mobile notary.

01:18:38.140 --> 01:18:43.739
So if you notarize it, it takes it to its full potential.

01:18:44.779 --> 01:18:49.659
Even if you don't, fill it out anyway and just keep going on it.

01:18:49.819 --> 01:18:51.180
Keep adding to it.

01:18:51.420 --> 01:18:53.260
Nobody's looking at it but you.

01:18:53.500 --> 01:18:54.380
We are here for you.

01:18:54.460 --> 01:18:55.819
We want to hear your stories.

01:18:55.979 --> 01:18:57.340
We think you're important.

01:18:57.579 --> 01:19:01.100
We think your stories are important and they should serve you.

01:19:01.899 --> 01:19:02.539
Yeah.

01:19:02.939 --> 01:19:14.859
Um, and I suppose then all the legal, if you do decide to take it to a legal step, that's all all the specificity specificities are just going to be on your local uh Right.

01:19:15.180 --> 01:19:16.380
We're gonna have to figure it out from there.

01:19:16.539 --> 01:19:17.739
Yeah, feel free to give us a call.

01:19:17.819 --> 01:19:23.260
We're gonna we're gonna do what we can to um make sure that that it works on their behalf.

01:19:23.579 --> 01:19:26.939
So I know that this is geared toward domestic violence.

01:19:27.180 --> 01:19:35.260
If what if say you have a random stalker, can you use this as well?

01:19:35.739 --> 01:19:37.420
Any instance and okay.

01:19:59.420 --> 01:20:07.340
But in terms of any, I mean, whether it's stalking, uh, harassment, workplace violence, you know.

01:20:07.420 --> 01:20:15.180
So if if someone's harassing you at work and you can't seem to get HR to pay attention, start writing things down.

01:20:15.500 --> 01:20:20.699
Start taking pictures, you know, do your screen captures, do whatever you have to do.

01:20:20.939 --> 01:20:41.500
But in any instance to which someone Is making you feel less than or has the potential for harm and you're and your gut going back to that gut, people need to do a better job listening to their gut because that gut thing is a second brain.

01:20:41.819 --> 01:20:41.979
Yeah.

01:20:42.140 --> 01:20:46.460
And that second brain is telling you something's not right here.

01:20:47.340 --> 01:20:51.659
And I I need you from in deep inside, I need you to know this.

01:20:51.899 --> 01:20:54.859
And so we need to do a better job listening to our gut.

01:20:54.939 --> 01:21:07.100
And if our gut's telling us something's not right, or we have to think twice about whether something's right in in the way that we're being treated, then that kind of tells you right there.

01:21:07.340 --> 01:21:07.739
Yeah.

01:21:07.979 --> 01:21:09.420
You know, that that's something.

01:21:09.500 --> 01:21:11.739
And then go to that love isrespect.org.

01:21:11.899 --> 01:21:15.500
Go find out if that behavior is in those categories.

01:21:15.659 --> 01:21:19.899
And and even if it just makes you feel uncomfortable, go ahead and start writing it down.

01:21:20.220 --> 01:21:22.380
Like I said, we don't care who fills us out.

01:21:22.460 --> 01:21:28.699
We just want people to know that it's there, that it's there for them, that it's there for anyone.

01:21:28.939 --> 01:21:33.420
And we don't want anyone to feel like they're not important.

01:21:33.819 --> 01:21:35.180
Everyone is important.

01:21:35.340 --> 01:21:36.939
You're all here for a reason.

01:21:37.180 --> 01:21:39.340
We're all here for a reason.

01:21:39.659 --> 01:21:42.779
Some of us take a little longer to figure out what those that reason is.

01:21:43.180 --> 01:21:44.060
That's right.

01:21:44.939 --> 01:21:50.699
You know, case in point, here I never thought I'd be executive director of Document the Beuse, but here I am.

01:21:50.779 --> 01:22:01.020
And I am just couldn't be more thrilled to get to do the work that I do and excited about what's to come and how we're going to saturate this.

01:22:01.340 --> 01:22:01.659
I know.

01:22:01.739 --> 01:22:04.380
I'm I'm very excited about what is to come.

01:22:04.539 --> 01:22:17.659
So you've mentioned a few sites before, but can you just go through a list of how people can get in contact with Document the Abuse, the EAA site, and any socials or anything that you want to share?

01:22:18.060 --> 01:22:19.180
Yes, by all means.

01:22:19.260 --> 01:22:22.380
Uh you can find us on the various social platforms.

01:22:22.699 --> 01:22:27.979
We do not do much on X just because, just because I don't know.

01:22:28.460 --> 01:22:33.020
Getting into a whole lot of stuff, I I just find it a little too toxic for myself, you know.

01:22:33.100 --> 01:22:36.220
But look for us on the other on the other social platforms.

01:22:36.460 --> 01:22:43.979
Uh, I'm big on LinkedIn uh as far as organizations go, you know, it's how we found each other and and how I find a lot of people.

01:22:44.140 --> 01:22:46.779
You know, that I I love LinkedIn for that purpose.

01:22:46.939 --> 01:22:51.979
And and uh Facebook, Instagram, you'll see the various things that we're doing.

01:22:52.060 --> 01:22:54.619
I like to post a lot when we're in the various places.

01:22:54.699 --> 01:22:56.300
So hopefully it gives somebody an idea.

01:22:56.380 --> 01:23:00.539
Oh, hey, if they do that, maybe they'll come over here and do this, you know, things like that.

01:23:00.699 --> 01:23:02.779
Um, you can sign up for trainings.

01:23:03.020 --> 01:23:12.779
We literally, after a very long process, have now received our official 501c3 status.

01:23:13.739 --> 01:23:15.340
Yay, congratulations.

01:23:15.659 --> 01:23:19.180
Oh, I think birthing my son was easier.

01:23:19.340 --> 01:23:23.260
I will ever think of them again.

01:23:23.500 --> 01:23:42.220
But we now have our status, which allows us now to go out there and really build this baby, you know, get out there, get validated, and even, you know, uh stating that yes, everyone recognizes that the work that we're doing, it truly is, you know, it needs to be out there.

01:23:42.380 --> 01:23:45.100
And and I'm glad that even they've recognized it.

01:23:45.340 --> 01:23:46.859
Yeah, I'm glad too.

01:23:47.100 --> 01:23:47.340
Okay.

01:23:47.979 --> 01:23:48.539
The websites.

01:23:48.859 --> 01:23:52.779
We uh um also check out love is respect.org.

01:23:52.939 --> 01:24:05.420
I know I've yep that uh a lot of times, but really, I mean, there there isn't anybody that that from from seven to 77 that that works.

01:24:05.819 --> 01:24:18.300
So it isn't just you know, uh younger generation, even some of our older generation, you know, people like me, we were taught, you know, just buck up buttercup, that's just the way things are, and things like that.

01:24:18.460 --> 01:24:24.939
So we don't tend to think of certain things as abuse even after 30 years or after 20 years and things like that.

01:24:25.100 --> 01:24:32.859
And we think, oh, that's you know, I shouldn't tell anybody you were ashamed into, you don't share your family business and things like that.

01:24:33.420 --> 01:24:45.340
No matter what age you are, no matter what situation you've been in, it is always there for you to talk about because just because we were told that doesn't mean it has to be that way.

01:24:45.579 --> 01:24:46.699
We can change that.

01:24:46.779 --> 01:24:48.300
And and it's up to you to do that.

01:24:48.460 --> 01:24:50.140
You can go ahead and tell your stories.

01:24:50.380 --> 01:24:51.500
Never mind, buttercup.

01:24:51.819 --> 01:24:52.220
We're here.

01:24:52.460 --> 01:24:53.659
Yeah, yeah.

01:24:53.979 --> 01:24:54.300
Okay.

01:24:54.539 --> 01:25:07.500
You've said so many great things, and you may not have any more great things to say, but do you have do you have any parting words of wisdom or encouragement that you would like to specifically leave with listeners?

01:25:08.220 --> 01:25:22.699
I appreciate you, Ingrid, for doing the kinds of things that you do and for opening up this conversation, because every time this conversation gets opened, there may be somebody else that that now knows about this and maybe it changes someone's outcome.

01:25:22.939 --> 01:25:31.979
So every time, like I said, I mean, if there's a a call to action, anybody who hears this, if you want to go fill one out, go fill one out.

01:25:32.300 --> 01:25:38.140
If that story was 10 years ago, 10 minutes ago, whenever it's there.

01:25:38.859 --> 01:25:46.060
And tell one other person because we all know someone, we are someone, or we can help someone who's dealing with domestic violence.

01:25:46.779 --> 01:25:53.020
We can change those shoulda woulda coulda's because I went through that a lot.

01:25:53.659 --> 01:25:55.979
Shoulda woulda coulda, shoulda done something.

01:25:56.460 --> 01:25:57.579
Could have changed that.

01:25:58.060 --> 01:26:02.220
So we take a lot of blame and we shame ourselves and we guilt ourselves.

01:26:03.260 --> 01:26:07.020
But those emotions don't really solve anything and they don't do anything.

01:26:07.260 --> 01:26:10.939
So I've changed them to I can, I will, I am.

01:26:12.779 --> 01:26:14.060
So let's go with that.

01:26:14.220 --> 01:26:26.460
If we don't go with anything, I can, I will, I am, because I can, because I'm telling everybody about this, I will keep moving forward with DTA and all that it can be.

01:26:26.619 --> 01:26:28.300
And I am by being here today.

01:26:28.380 --> 01:26:33.020
And so are you if you are here today, you can say I am.

01:26:34.779 --> 01:26:35.899
Thank you, Norma.

01:26:36.060 --> 01:26:36.859
That's beautiful.

01:26:37.020 --> 01:26:50.939
Thank you so much for your time and honestly for turning such a tragic ordeal into something so powerful and for remembering the names that actually should be remembered.

01:26:51.340 --> 01:26:51.819
Thank you.

01:26:51.979 --> 01:26:54.699
I appreciate you, and I appreciate everyone who's listening.

01:26:54.859 --> 01:26:56.539
I hope you all have a great day.

01:26:56.779 --> 01:27:00.140
And again, I I appreciate the time.

01:27:00.619 --> 01:27:03.260
Every time we do this, someone else hears.

01:27:03.579 --> 01:27:04.220
I agree.

01:27:04.380 --> 01:27:05.020
Thank you.

01:27:05.260 --> 01:27:06.060
Thanks.

01:27:06.460 --> 01:27:11.260
Thank you again, Norma, for joining me today, and thank you, warriors, for listening.

01:27:11.420 --> 01:27:16.779
I've included the links Norma was referring to as well as her one in three profile in the show notes.

01:27:17.020 --> 01:27:20.140
I will be back next week with another episode for you.

01:27:20.380 --> 01:27:22.300
Until then, stay strong.

01:27:22.460 --> 01:27:28.140
And wherever you are in your journey, always remember you are not alone.

01:27:31.500 --> 01:27:38.380
Find more information, register as a guest, or leave a review by going to the website onein3podcast.com.

01:27:38.539 --> 01:27:42.939
That's the number one, I am the number three podcast.com.

01:27:43.180 --> 01:27:47.819
Follow one in three on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at one in three podcast.

01:27:48.140 --> 01:27:52.220
To help me out, please remember to rate review and subscribe.

01:27:52.460 --> 01:27:55.100
One in three is a.5 pinoy production.

01:27:55.420 --> 01:27:58.300
Music written and performed by Tim Crumb.
Norma Peterson Profile Photo
Norma Peterson

Executive Director

Norma Peterson is the sister-in-law of Stacy Peterson, whose disappearance in 2007 brought national attention and placed Norma’s family under intense public scrutiny. Drawing from that painful experience, Norma has since dedicated herself to supporting victims of domestic violence and raising awareness about the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) — a prevention tool that helps victims document critical information that could aid investigations and prosecutions if they go missing or are harmed.
Through her advocacy, Norma works with law enforcement, judicial systems, and legislators to integrate the EAA into domestic violence protocols. She also assists victims in creating their own affidavits.
Norma is a frequent speaker, trainer, and advocate, educating law enforcement, first responders, victim advocates, community groups, and professionals on supporting victims and documenting abuse. Her outreach includes numerous media appearances (OWN, Oxygen, Reelz UK, NBC, CBS, WGN, podcasts) and presentations at national conferences such as the National Missing Persons Conference and NAWLEE, National Center for Victims of Crime among others.
She actively serves on the DuPage Family Violence Coordinating Council and the Illinois DV Fatality Review Board, and partners with organizations like CUE Center and Community United Effort (CUE). Her mission is to give survivors and victims’ a voice, provide tools for protection, and change how communities respond to abuse and missing persons cases.