March 12, 2024

Bail Reform and Domestic Violence: Justice, Policy, and Survivor Safety with Ken W. Good I Ep. 34

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
YouTube podcast player badge
Amazon Music podcast player badge
iHeartRadio podcast player badge
Deezer podcast player badge
PlayerFM podcast player badge
Podcast Addict podcast player badge
Podchaser podcast player badge
PocketCasts podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
Castbox podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconYouTube podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconiHeartRadio podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconPlayerFM podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconPocketCasts podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconCastbox podcast player icon

Bail reform sparks heated debates across the U.S., especially when it intersects with domestic violence. In this episode of the 1 in 3 Podcast, Ingrid sits down with Ken W. Good to dissect the legal, social, and personal dimensions of bail reform.

We explore:

  • Constitutional nuances and zero-bail policies
  • The impact of bail reform on survivors of domestic violence
  • Judicial discretion and the rise of failure-to-appear incidents
  • Public safety versus leniency: finding the balance
  • Lessons from states like Texas where reform is contentious

🎧 Key Takeaways:

  • Understanding the private surety bail system
  • How systemic failures can put survivors at risk
  • Incorporating survivor voices in legal and policy decisions
  • Community, resilience, and faith as tools for advocacy and healing
  • Evidence-based strategies to improve justice and safety

Whether you’re a policy advocate, legal professional, or survivor seeking insight, this episode provides a nuanced exploration of bail reform and the urgent need to protect vulnerable populations.



Link to Ken’s bio: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/ken-w-good/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

00:00 - Bail Reform and Domestic Violence Impact

07:21 - Bail Reform in Urban Areas

13:50 - Criminal Justice Reform and State Power

23:36 - Criminal Justice Reform and Public Safety

29:11 - Understanding and Addressing Domestic Violence

38:17 - Domestic Violence and Surviving Relationships

WEBVTT

00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:26.690
Hi Ken, welcome and thank you for joining me today.

00:00:27.341 --> 00:00:28.925
Well, thank you very much for having me.

00:00:28.925 --> 00:00:32.453
You don't know how excited I am that this is not video and I can just talk.

00:00:33.341 --> 00:00:36.152
Yes, you don't have to worry about how either one of us looks.

00:00:36.233 --> 00:00:36.855
So that's, great.

00:00:36.975 --> 00:00:46.347
I know you have a lot of interesting information, so I'm going to mute myself and let you take it away, if that's okay with you.

00:00:47.010 --> 00:01:00.628
Sure, you know I have developed a practice representing Bell Bondsman and studying this area of the law has become an interest for me.

00:01:00.628 --> 00:01:07.224
I have a background as an appellate attorney, so I have a background in looking at the legal issues.

00:01:07.224 --> 00:01:11.533
And you know we have this push for bell reform that started years ago.

00:01:11.533 --> 00:01:19.435
And it started in some federal cases where we were told, hey, bell is unconstitutional and so our current way we're doing bell is going to have to change.

00:01:19.435 --> 00:01:20.859
So we want to change it to this.

00:01:20.859 --> 00:01:24.067
And it turned out that everything we've been told is wrong.

00:01:24.067 --> 00:01:34.140
I mean, bell has not been held unconstitutional, it's been held constitutional and there's been people who've kind of noticed, hey, we don't really have anything to replace it with that works near as well.

00:01:34.140 --> 00:01:36.384
That's the reason why it's been around 200 years.

00:01:36.384 --> 00:01:51.135
And so we've started seeing some mayors kind of push back and say, until you have an alternative that has the same low failure to appear rate and the high level of accountability that the private sector provides, then you don't have an alternative.

00:01:51.135 --> 00:02:07.138
And so we've really kind of seen, during COVID, a lot of data come out that has shown us that this is absolutely true and that some things that have been tried, like zero bell, simple release, release without bell in New York or in Texas.

00:02:07.138 --> 00:02:11.686
Release on personal bonds has had a devastating impact on our criminal justice system.

00:02:11.686 --> 00:02:15.412
It's increased crime and it's increased violent crime.

00:02:15.412 --> 00:02:45.717
As a result of COVID, there was a DA in Yolo County in California who released a study of a comparison of people or defendants arrested on low level crimes charged released on a simple release versus released on a private surety bond and the ones released on simple release had a 200% greater chance of committing a new violent offense in the next 18 months.

00:02:45.717 --> 00:02:54.919
And so we're seeing this risk of additional crime coming all over the country where these things are being tried.

00:02:54.919 --> 00:03:21.000
And what we're really seeing is that in the area of domestic violent survivors, this has had an even more devastating effect, because you know people who are suffering or who are domestic violent survivors already have questions about whether they can trust the criminal justice system because they're being told come to us, we'll get you a restraining order and that's what you need.

00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:23.201
Well, we already know that.

00:03:23.201 --> 00:03:39.020
You know if someone is going to be someone who's going to prey on our survivors, they're not going to be too concerned about a protective order or violating it.

00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:48.572
But the problem now is with these pushes for alternatives, the push for we need to change what we're currently doing.

00:03:48.572 --> 00:04:02.020
We're actually tying the hands of judges so they cannot hold people accused of domestic violence and so they're getting arrested and immediately released, and it's coming back and making it 10 times worse.

00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:11.756
And so, you know, domestic violence survivors have no time to even think about relying upon the police or relying on the criminal justice system.

00:04:11.756 --> 00:04:19.019
They have to immediately go underground, hide, find a place to go, because the clock is ticking on them.

00:04:19.019 --> 00:04:36.562
And I think that is an area of this bad bell reform or bad bell reform failures that we're seeing in our urban areas, urban area parts of the country that we're not really talking about, the areas that we're.

00:04:36.562 --> 00:04:50.877
Our domestic violence survivors are really getting kicked really bad and almost ignored by the criminal justice system now because of the way they're being released after they're being accused of domestic violence.

00:04:52.343 --> 00:04:56.435
And so just to clarify simple release just means that they are released without bail.

00:04:56.454 --> 00:04:58.000
Well, that just means they're released on their own promise.

00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:02.550
So there's different, it's called different things in different parts of the country.

00:05:02.550 --> 00:05:08.026
So in California it would be released on zero bail, so you're released on a bond.

00:05:08.026 --> 00:05:09.809
That's zero dollars, it didn't cost anything.

00:05:09.809 --> 00:05:14.636
In New York, it would be released without bail, so you'd be released without a bond.

00:05:14.636 --> 00:05:24.391
Texas, you can't be released without a bond, so we would call it being released on a personal bond, because all bonds in Texas have to have an amount, but you're not paying anything for it.

00:05:24.391 --> 00:05:30.632
It's just a promise, and so all three of those can be categorized into what I call simple release.

00:05:30.632 --> 00:05:38.514
They're each one example of just simple release mechanisms where you'd pay nothing and you just get immediately released out of jail.

00:05:40.002 --> 00:05:49.019
Now I know the timeframe probably would vary from state to state in case to case, but on average how much time would that be then from the arrest to release?

00:05:51.204 --> 00:05:58.019
It is going to depend on where you go but, like in Texas, you have to see a magistrate within 48 hours.

00:05:58.019 --> 00:06:05.576
So if you immediately see a magistrate, if you see one within 24 hours, they immediately give you a personal bond.

00:06:05.576 --> 00:06:07.019
You just sign it and you're released.

00:06:07.019 --> 00:06:48.514
You're going to be released very quickly back into the same situation that you were, and I have an example from Harris County where Alex Guajardo was already on a personal bond and got accused, or he was arrested for domestic violence against his wife and he was arrested, taking a jail and went to before the master and was given immediately another PR bond even though he would have violated the conditions of his first one, went home, killed his wife within hours, stabbed her over 30 times in her stomach, and he did it because he said she was pregnant and he didn't want any other man to raise his child.

00:06:48.514 --> 00:06:50.918
And so he's now in jail for murder.

00:06:50.918 --> 00:07:21.009
But the criminal justice system failed his wife, caitlin and you know we've had a bill filed in the last or two sessions ago you know call the named in honor of Caitlin, caitlin's bill and you know it didn't pass, but the concepts of it were combined with another bill so that that was ultimately passed to reform the criminal justice system and the way what the parts that impacted her is.

00:07:21.009 --> 00:07:28.161
In Texas, they limited the use of personal bonds simple release mechanisms for these types of charges going forward.

00:07:30.029 --> 00:07:36.286
Is that common where somebody could be arrested again and still be released on a simple I?

00:07:36.326 --> 00:07:39.391
would say in the majority of Texas probably not.

00:07:39.391 --> 00:07:42.495
But the problem is in our urban areas.

00:07:42.495 --> 00:07:56.264
You know, in our urban areas, where we have high population, high crime and full jails, you know, a lot of times these assault, family violence offenses are misdemeanors.

00:07:56.264 --> 00:07:58.795
We've amended the Texas Constitution.

00:07:58.795 --> 00:08:00.584
Allow someone to be held without bail.

00:08:00.584 --> 00:08:02.470
So this is a charge.

00:08:02.470 --> 00:08:03.492
They could have been held.

00:08:03.492 --> 00:08:07.785
But since it's a misdemeanor, we have judges who say well, it's a misdemeanor, I can't hold you.

00:08:07.785 --> 00:08:13.504
And even though the Constitution says differently, they're like well, it's a misdemeanor, so I have to release them.

00:08:13.504 --> 00:08:16.410
And so in our urban areas they would have.

00:08:16.410 --> 00:08:23.305
Just, you know, in Harris County they released them because it was a misdemeanor and he was given, you know, a personal bond.

00:08:23.305 --> 00:08:25.904
The amount didn't matter because he didn't pay anything.

00:08:27.187 --> 00:08:33.483
Okay, so talk to me a little bit about the misdemeanor thing like why would that not be a higher charge?

00:08:35.005 --> 00:08:36.387
You know that's okay.

00:08:36.387 --> 00:08:47.274
So the part of the politics of these bail reform failures is the push to say we should focus on violent offenses and we should focus on felonies.

00:08:47.274 --> 00:08:51.959
And so as a result of that, we're saying well, misdemeanors are less important.

00:08:51.959 --> 00:09:05.345
Like, harris County was sued in federal court, they entered into a settlement and so they agreed to give everyone that was arrested on a misdemeanor a hundred dollar personal bond unless you were charged with one of seven offenses.

00:09:05.345 --> 00:09:10.015
Now, a hundred dollar personal bond, you're still not paying anything and that's just the amount tied to the bond.

00:09:10.015 --> 00:09:13.378
And so, as a result, crime has increased.

00:09:13.378 --> 00:09:14.945
Failure to appears have increased.

00:09:14.945 --> 00:09:17.087
You know there's been.

00:09:17.087 --> 00:09:26.520
I would say, according to Harris County court watch, there's an 80% failure to appear rate on misdemeanors on average over a two year period in Harris County.

00:09:26.520 --> 00:09:31.032
You think, oh, that can't be correct, that's got to be absolutely wrong.

00:09:31.032 --> 00:09:31.606
That's just a.

00:09:31.606 --> 00:09:33.333
That's a jaw dropping number.

00:09:33.333 --> 00:09:46.519
I did a podcast with a DA in California and he said we do the same thing for all misdemeanors in California and our failure to appear rate in all misdemeanors in California is 80%.

00:09:46.519 --> 00:09:54.144
So I mean what we're learning is when you do these simple release mechanisms, you are going to have a high failure to appear rate.

00:09:54.144 --> 00:10:04.345
And when you have a high failure to appear rate, that creates chaos, because every week we're adding the same number of cases to the criminal justice system in our urban areas on average.

00:10:04.345 --> 00:10:21.105
And so you know, if you have a thousand cases supposed to appear, 80% don't show, then if you just push them back a week, then now you have to have 1800 people show up, and if 80% don't show, then it just compounds week after week, and so that's how it creates chaos.

00:10:21.105 --> 00:10:38.899
Chaos puts pressure on the courts to decriminalize, because they have to dismiss cases to keep from the criminal justice system collapsing, and so it's just a snowball where you have chaos, de facto decriminalization and dismissal of cases.

00:10:39.746 --> 00:10:41.711
When they don't show how?

00:10:41.711 --> 00:10:45.879
How ambitious is the legal system in trying to track these people down?

00:10:46.769 --> 00:10:47.817
In our urban areas.

00:10:47.817 --> 00:10:48.924
Okay, so how ambitious are they?

00:10:48.924 --> 00:11:12.745
They're not ambitious at all, because when they're released on a personal bond, they issue a warrant, but the warrants going to go down to the warrant division and join the tens of thousands of other warrants waiting to be held, and so that usually means that either have to come back on their own oh I just forgot or in these areas, this area, they had to commit another crime to be brought back into the judicial system.

00:11:12.745 --> 00:11:19.418
So, like with Alex Guajardo, the way he came back after his was by killing his wife.

00:11:19.418 --> 00:11:22.053
That's how he came back into the criminal justice system.

00:11:22.053 --> 00:11:27.345
And so you've got, I mean, so there's not, there's not anybody looking.

00:11:27.345 --> 00:11:41.725
That's the big difference between the private industry and the simple release mechanisms, because the private industry has is given an incentive If your person doesn't come to court, you're going to pay the county a certain amount of money, unless you get them back very quickly.

00:11:41.725 --> 00:11:58.171
And so we, if we post a bond and someone to show we're looking for them, we're encouraging them to come back, or we're searching for them and calling the police and saying they're right there, please go arrest them, because we can't arrest in in Texas, and so it's a very different system.

00:11:58.171 --> 00:12:04.884
When the private surety industry posts a bond versus, they get one of these simple release mechanisms.

00:12:04.884 --> 00:12:05.424
Okay.

00:12:05.644 --> 00:12:12.278
Okay, now I'm kind of jumping back a little bit, but you have mentioned that this happened because it was deemed unconstitutional.

00:12:12.278 --> 00:12:12.946
So what?

00:12:12.946 --> 00:12:14.571
What was it that?

00:12:14.571 --> 00:12:17.488
Well, ok, so it wasn't deemed.

00:12:17.528 --> 00:12:22.618
It's just the people pushing for reform were arguing that it was unconstitutional and we didn't have a case on point.

00:12:22.618 --> 00:12:26.692
And so since then we've had two courts of appeals, the 11th and the 5th Circuit.

00:12:26.692 --> 00:12:29.837
Both hold that the private surety bail system is constitutional.

00:12:29.837 --> 00:12:42.780
And the original case that caused all this hoopla in Houston, in Harris County, was called O'Donnell versus Harris County, and they ultimately settled it because well, they settled it for multiple reasons.

00:12:42.780 --> 00:12:54.600
But the problem is the the courts of appeals has since then reversed O'Donnell and the 5th Circuit has ultimately stated that it should have never been filed in federal court.

00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:56.826
So it's been reversed multiple times.

00:12:56.826 --> 00:12:59.308
The courts have said it should have never been filed.

00:12:59.308 --> 00:13:13.542
But Harris County is still following the O'Donnell settlement, which is requiring them to do simple, release personal bonds for simple, essentially all misdemeanors with the exception of seven charges.

00:13:13.542 --> 00:13:22.453
But when you go to court you're still going to get a personal bond by and large, and the problem is they can't hold anybody accountable because of all the chaos.

00:13:22.453 --> 00:13:24.418
So you'll have people on misdemeanor bonds.

00:13:24.418 --> 00:13:32.293
I mean, several years ago you'd have somebody that had miscourt six, seven, eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen times.

00:13:32.293 --> 00:13:42.745
And they miscourt, get re arrested, get a new personal bond, get out, don't come to court, get re arrested, get a new personal bond and it's just an endless cycle.

00:13:42.745 --> 00:13:44.910
You can see the police aren't all there's.

00:13:44.910 --> 00:13:48.441
There's been all the time arresting and releasing, arresting and releasing.

00:13:48.441 --> 00:13:49.745
Nobody's being held accountable.

00:13:49.745 --> 00:13:53.708
And it was because of this argument that hey bells unconstitutional.

00:13:53.708 --> 00:13:54.769
Well, now we know it's not.

00:13:54.769 --> 00:13:56.292
Now we know it is.

00:13:56.292 --> 00:13:57.833
It is constitutional.

00:13:57.833 --> 00:14:07.304
And in the 5th Circuit even went further recently and said these types of cases can't be filed in in federal court, in in Texas and or the 5th Circuit.

00:14:07.304 --> 00:14:17.245
And I think that was their message of we're tired of this, we're not going to, we're not going to regulate ongoing state court, criminal court cases.

00:14:17.245 --> 00:14:27.667
We want, we're not going to get in the way of that, we're going to allow the state to regulate or decide how they want to handle criminals in their state and so.

00:14:27.667 --> 00:14:39.053
But we're still suffering the consequences of this O'Donnell opinion because nobody in Harris County will go to the 5th Circuit and say or go to the trial court and say you need to vacate this Because the 5th Circuit says it shouldn't have been filed.

00:14:39.885 --> 00:14:41.652
So do you think that's the ultimate answer?

00:14:41.652 --> 00:14:44.721
Is giving the power to the states, or what do you?

00:14:44.741 --> 00:14:45.485
think.

00:14:45.485 --> 00:14:47.945
Well bail is generally run by the state.

00:14:47.945 --> 00:14:51.936
So that's why we have different systems and every state, every state can do their own.

00:14:51.936 --> 00:14:55.193
I mean we kind of have two criminal justice systems at the same time.

00:14:55.193 --> 00:14:59.544
We have each state has their own, and then the federal system overlays on top of everything.

00:14:59.544 --> 00:15:02.745
So if you're charged with a federal crime, you're going to go through that system.

00:15:02.745 --> 00:15:12.144
If you're charged with a state crime, you're going to go through whatever system each state has, and you could be charged with one, or you know a state crime and a federal crime and you could go through both systems.

00:15:12.144 --> 00:15:27.144
And we do see that sometimes, especially when the politics of the state, like in the urban cities, won't allow the punishment sought, so they'll follow it as a federal charge instead of a state charge.

00:15:27.144 --> 00:15:34.945
You know what the solution, you know what we're really doing is we're tying the hands of judges, so, and we're doing it in the argument.

00:15:34.945 --> 00:15:43.375
The argument is we need to protect the poor, so, and we want to make sure the judges don't take advantage of the poor and so.

00:15:43.375 --> 00:15:51.544
But in tying the hands of judges to protect the poor, we're preventing the judges, we're doing the same thing.

00:15:51.544 --> 00:15:54.144
They can't, so they can't address organized crime.

00:15:54.144 --> 00:16:03.720
They can't address career criminals and they can't address gangs, and we're starting to see that change and needs to change more quickly.

00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:05.748
But I don't think.

00:16:05.748 --> 00:16:15.725
I think the answer is we need to give judges more discretion, not less, so they'll have the tools that they need to address these types of situations.

00:16:15.725 --> 00:16:29.284
So when someone's brought before them on a domestic violence charge, they can say I'm not putting the rights of the defendant over the right to the victim, because we were coming out of this period where that's what we've done.

00:16:29.284 --> 00:16:53.667
I mean, you know, people don't realize that 50% of all murder victims in the United States are young black males and by and large the murderers are from the same group and somehow we got turned around and we started favoring young black male Murderers over victims and we need to turn that back and straighten it out.

00:16:54.855 --> 00:16:58.625
I know you've kind of talked with different people throughout different states.

00:16:58.625 --> 00:17:05.467
Do you feel like it's kind of the same general opinion as you're saying right now throughout the country?

00:17:05.936 --> 00:17:17.249
No, I think in our urban areas we have the politics that's just crazy right now, and so I think in those areas you're going to have a continual push for we need to be more lenient for defendants.

00:17:17.249 --> 00:17:19.380
You're starting to see it change.

00:17:19.380 --> 00:17:26.779
It's coming from the mayors first, because they're starting to see businesses close, so their tax bases going down.

00:17:26.779 --> 00:17:29.785
Their commercial property values are going down.

00:17:29.785 --> 00:17:31.929
That's affecting their property taxes.

00:17:31.929 --> 00:17:40.444
You're going to see more and more defaults of commercial buildings, and so you're starting to see mayors say we've got to stop this.

00:17:40.444 --> 00:17:52.048
I mean San Francisco, I think in the last two days, just passed a referendum allowing more police activities that you would have thought they would never have in San Francisco anymore.

00:17:52.048 --> 00:17:59.378
It's a direct reaction to these soft on crime policies with rising crime, and so you're going to see more of that.

00:17:59.378 --> 00:18:08.835
In many ways, I think we're repeating the cycle that we had in the 60s, where we felt more safe, so we became more lenient on crime.

00:18:08.835 --> 00:18:16.911
We started having more crime as a result, and so we started fighting over how to respond to that.

00:18:16.911 --> 00:18:34.324
Our friends on one side of the spectrum said no, we're not going to do it, we're going to pose anything, and ultimately we had a backlash in the 80s and Reagan was elected with a strong fight on crime policy and it carried through with even Clinton.

00:18:34.324 --> 00:18:43.095
Clinton was a strong advocate for tough on crime and we enacted these three strikes, you're out type policies and we went building jails.

00:18:43.095 --> 00:18:51.621
And I think we're on track to repeat those same, that same cycle.

00:18:51.621 --> 00:19:05.133
If we're not, if the, if our friends are not careful and they don't realize, hey, this isn't working, so we need to try something else, then that's where we're headed, because what we're doing right now cannot continue.

00:19:05.133 --> 00:19:05.555
It's not sustainable.

00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:15.028
Do you think we're heading in that direction where both federal and state is looking at needing to make some changes?

00:19:15.048 --> 00:19:26.615
Well, you know, we're always looking at how we can improve the criminal justice system and so I think you know, any session we're in Texas we're looking on ways to improve it, but we're also fighting pushes to destroy it.

00:19:26.615 --> 00:19:32.755
I think we're going to continue with push groups pushing to go backwards.

00:19:32.755 --> 00:19:51.839
But I, like I said, you know there was a news nation town hall on crime and there was a mayor there who said you know, until you have an alternative to the private industry that has the same low fair to appear rate, so more people go to court, and the same high level of camp, but you don't have an alternative.

00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:52.482
And that's what we are.

00:19:52.482 --> 00:19:54.270
That's where we are right now.

00:19:54.270 --> 00:19:58.988
We're trying alternatives that are not tested.

00:19:58.988 --> 00:19:59.931
We have no resources.

00:19:59.931 --> 00:20:03.705
It says the work and they say, oh, they're working.

00:20:03.705 --> 00:20:05.333
And when they don't they say, oh, we need more time.

00:20:05.333 --> 00:20:10.853
It just seems more time and that's the reason why you know it just hasn't shown that it's working.

00:20:10.853 --> 00:20:30.909
But if their theory is we can reduce people from the number of people in prison and that will make us safer, then you know that they're talking out of both sides of their mouth, because Common Sense says you release more criminals from jail, from prison, you're going to have more crime, and I would say everything that we've seen supports that, so what?

00:20:30.949 --> 00:20:32.354
can be done or what should be done.

00:20:32.354 --> 00:20:37.028
Is there anything that the average citizen can do?

00:20:37.028 --> 00:20:37.690
Yes, and you know.

00:20:37.809 --> 00:20:43.406
I think probably the strongest voice in this area is domestic violence survivors.

00:20:43.406 --> 00:20:46.134
They can always I mean, you know when we so what can they do?

00:20:46.134 --> 00:20:50.686
They can go to our website, pbtxcom.

00:20:50.686 --> 00:21:27.836
They can join our newsletter, they can join our email groups, and so we, when we see something happen at the legislature, we'll do a call to actions and and sometimes you know the legislature, they know me, they know some of us, but the people who are survivors of these situations are much more powerful and have a very compelling story that I promise you our legislators will be they'll listen very carefully and they want to protect these groups.

00:21:27.836 --> 00:21:31.807
I mean, who doesn't want to protect people who are victims of domestic violence?

00:21:31.807 --> 00:21:42.009
The problem is no one's pointing out to our legislature that these pushes for reform are having devastating effects on this segment, just like anything else.

00:21:42.009 --> 00:21:53.386
You know we're saying what we're doing these things to help minorities, but what nobody is pointing out is when crime increases, it disproportionately increases in our minority communities.

00:21:53.386 --> 00:22:04.210
So they say they're wanting to help these groups and these reforms end up hurting those very groups the most, and nobody realizes that.

00:22:05.954 --> 00:22:13.566
Right, because the offenders can then just be out there reoffending, even perhaps not with the same original victim, but moving on to new victims.

00:22:13.586 --> 00:22:16.336
Well, crime gets committed usually within the same racial group.

00:22:16.336 --> 00:22:21.896
So if crime is going to increase, it's going to increase disproportionately in our minority communities.

00:22:22.357 --> 00:22:23.461
Now you're in Texas.

00:22:23.461 --> 00:22:30.909
How would or who would somebody in different states try to look for to talk to about this?

00:22:31.289 --> 00:22:32.192
Well, I think you know we're.

00:22:32.192 --> 00:22:36.785
I think we're a good resource in Texas and because we usually know what's going on in other states.

00:22:36.785 --> 00:22:43.546
But I think by by just kind of coming to our group, you can find out what's going on in other states.

00:22:43.546 --> 00:22:48.987
We do monitor what's going on in other states, but you know, I think it is very difficult.

00:22:48.987 --> 00:23:10.040
I think what we really need is domestic violence survivors to become more active in their state legislature so they'll know what's going on and so they'll be reaching out to us as a resource that we can help them, instead of us trying to point y'all or point people into the proper area when we're you know we're in Texas.

00:23:10.040 --> 00:23:13.977
If something's going on in Ohio, it's going to be less likely that we know.

00:23:13.977 --> 00:23:15.400
And so what we?

00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:23.307
The perfect thing would be we're a resource for people in Ohio when something like this is is taking place.

00:23:23.307 --> 00:23:32.702
So I think probably the best resource right now would be stay current on what's going on at your legislature, watch the news and if you start to see something, reach out will be.

00:23:32.702 --> 00:23:35.715
We can tell you what's going on and we can figure it out really quickly.

00:23:37.459 --> 00:23:39.103
Now you also have a podcast.

00:23:39.103 --> 00:23:42.288
Do you go over this kind of information in the podcast?

00:23:42.474 --> 00:23:42.836
I do.

00:23:42.836 --> 00:23:56.057
So we have our own podcast called the bell post and it, if you, you can go to PBTXcom and you can click on podcast, or you can just go to thebellpostcom and it is a criminal justice podcast.

00:23:56.057 --> 00:23:59.186
So it is just talking about criminal justice issues.

00:23:59.186 --> 00:24:04.060
It is intended to be a resource to legislators and the public.

00:24:04.060 --> 00:24:09.515
So, like New Jersey did bell reform and we call it the New Jersey plan.

00:24:09.515 --> 00:24:13.693
If you know, we did people say, oh, texas should adopt the New Jersey plan.

00:24:13.693 --> 00:24:15.480
Well, nobody knew what the New Jersey plan was.

00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:19.584
So we did an episode, or I did an episode on what the New Jersey plan is.

00:24:19.584 --> 00:24:22.998
And once you talk, look at it and you go well, that's not really a good fit for Texas.

00:24:22.998 --> 00:24:30.872
And also, when you talk about how expensive it was and how they did a tax increase statewide tax increase just for that, and then they went broke.

00:24:30.872 --> 00:24:36.234
And then you find, figure out, well, no other state has proposed the New Jersey plan because of the cost.

00:24:36.234 --> 00:24:41.550
And so a lot of the reforms we see are a reaction to the New Jersey plan.

00:24:41.550 --> 00:24:44.662
They want to do reforms but they don't want to pay for it.

00:24:44.662 --> 00:24:47.272
So that's how we get simple release mechanisms.

00:24:47.272 --> 00:24:49.080
Which people are just being released.

00:24:49.080 --> 00:24:51.894
Nobody is supervising them because the states can't afford to supervise them.

00:24:51.894 --> 00:25:04.261
We're getting we're making it a worse system than it was, because we're getting rid of the private industry that provides the highest level of supervision, and we're just getting rid of them in some areas, especially in our urban areas.

00:25:04.261 --> 00:25:37.684
And so what we're seeing is we're seeing where the criminal justice system is getting damaged in the, in the, in the name of hey, we're going to make it better and but we're replacing it with something that we have no study, nothing that says it works, and so far, everything shows exactly what we said it would happen is it was a failure, and you have high sky, high failure to appear, and as criminals see that and see that people aren't being held accountable, they see that as a green light to commit more crime.

00:25:37.684 --> 00:25:47.111
And the groups that are stepping in to those voids is, you know, organized crime, gangs and career criminals, and they're making millions, of millions of dollars out of it.

00:25:47.111 --> 00:25:52.332
We know that because stores are closing, they can't withstand $25,000 a day in shoplifting.

00:25:52.332 --> 00:26:03.310
Well, that month, that's where these groups are stepping into the void and making money hand over fist, and no one seems to be willing to even address that in some of our urban areas today.

00:26:03.310 --> 00:26:07.243
I mean they're just like oh well, it's target's fault that they're closing their stores.

00:26:07.243 --> 00:26:08.125
It's target's fault.

00:26:08.125 --> 00:26:18.063
No, if you can't provide a safe place, if you cannot provide public safety for me to conduct my business, don't be shocked if I close my business.

00:26:19.026 --> 00:26:46.220
I always tell these stories about domestic violence and kind of conclude with something needs to be done and I'm not that person to figure out what can be done and this there are so many different facets and parts to domestic violence and I think this is a huge one and I think this can definitely do something to help improve or lower the statistics of reoffense and domestic violence.

00:26:46.641 --> 00:26:52.883
Well, if I was, going to propose, like, if you know, we had something happen in Ohio or New York and some kind of bill was voted.

00:26:52.883 --> 00:26:54.827
You asked me what should be done.

00:26:54.827 --> 00:27:20.958
We should have domestic violence survivors talking to the legislature saying we should not have simple release for domestic violence, people accused of that crime, because that gets them out very quickly and they go home and they commit murder or something almost as bad, and so you can stop it or decrease it significantly, just over the type of release being used.

00:27:20.958 --> 00:27:41.328
I mean you would think, okay, you and me, if you've got somebody released on a personal bond or a simple release versus being released on the private industry bond, and the person released just on simple release has a 200% greater chance of committing a violent offense in the next 18 months, we would say it's a no brainer.

00:27:41.328 --> 00:27:47.098
We're only going to allow very few people to be released on a simple release.

00:27:47.098 --> 00:27:48.554
But that's not where we are.

00:27:48.554 --> 00:28:10.896
The politics has overtaken it and so we have to tell our stories about how their politics are causing real harm, real damage, real tragedies, and I think once we do that, then you're going to see people like they normally do when you show a spotlight on it the bugs run and the people like sanity returns.

00:28:11.506 --> 00:28:13.714
Absolutely, I totally agree.

00:28:13.714 --> 00:28:16.164
I think this is very helpful, very good information.

00:28:16.164 --> 00:28:20.342
Is there anything else that you want to add, or kind?

00:28:21.045 --> 00:28:21.265
of Well.

00:28:21.265 --> 00:28:22.887
I would just look.

00:28:22.887 --> 00:28:47.288
This is an area where to survive, you kind of have to run a lot of times, and I'm sure that's the advice that they receive when you get a call, and what I would say is, once you get out and get protected, the way you can provide help.

00:28:47.288 --> 00:29:10.990
One of the ways for future people is to, when you see an opportunity to stand up and say what is going on is not right, and we'll be happy, I'll be happy to be right there with you and say I'll give you the stats, I'll give you the numbers, I'll show you how this is being done.

00:29:10.990 --> 00:29:24.182
And, like in California, they were talking about doing a statewide change to a simple release mechanism, and the Yolo County study came in and costed it.

00:29:24.182 --> 00:29:25.164
We need more of that.

00:29:25.164 --> 00:29:47.329
We just need to shine a light on these issues and bring them to our legislators so that when they're hearing from these people on the extreme fringes pushing for things that they know aren't working and saying, hey, what we're currently doing is unconstitutional, and you're like, no, it's been held constitutional, but they won't admit that they keep making the same arguments.

00:29:47.329 --> 00:29:55.756
Even if they've been overturned by courts, they still make them, and so somebody needs to call them out on that and we can absolutely help do that.

00:29:55.756 --> 00:30:11.164
But the stories of domestic violence survivors are the ones that are going to catch everybody's attention because everybody wants to help you all, but you all are having to run and hide and seek help behind the scenes because there's no faith in the criminal justice system.

00:30:11.164 --> 00:30:12.790
We've got to correct that.

00:30:13.986 --> 00:30:14.567
Absolutely.

00:30:14.567 --> 00:30:25.101
That's kind of the common theme, I think, with any, every story, every survivor that I've talked to is the loss of faith in the judicial system and the legal system.

00:30:25.101 --> 00:30:28.366
So, thank you, let me ask you.

00:30:28.426 --> 00:30:33.954
So is there a common trait to the abusers?

00:30:33.954 --> 00:30:36.238
I mean, are they narcissists?

00:30:36.238 --> 00:30:38.121
Are they just bullies?

00:30:38.121 --> 00:30:39.326
What is the?

00:30:39.326 --> 00:30:41.511
What is there a common trait there?

00:30:41.511 --> 00:30:44.257
Because it just seems.

00:30:44.257 --> 00:30:48.164
You know, I'm a guy, I've been married for 20 something years.

00:30:48.164 --> 00:30:54.298
I have never come close to hitting my wife or either one of my daughters.

00:30:54.298 --> 00:31:01.155
Now I've gotten really upset and I've gotten angry, but I mean, now I'm a strong Christian, but I would.

00:31:01.155 --> 00:31:04.164
I've never gotten even close.

00:31:04.164 --> 00:31:06.730
So what is it about what?

00:31:06.730 --> 00:31:08.214
What gets those situations?

00:31:09.625 --> 00:31:09.945
That's.

00:31:09.945 --> 00:31:23.420
That's what's really interesting too, and I'm actually going to be speaking to somebody who wrote a book on the neuroscience of domestic violence and how she feels it's more of a nature versus nurture.

00:31:23.420 --> 00:31:27.407
I think it's probably a combination of both.

00:31:27.407 --> 00:31:29.309
I think there is a lot of narcissism.

00:31:29.309 --> 00:31:44.198
I think there are other mental health disorders that can contribute, but I don't think that that necessarily precludes somebody to abusing somebody else.

00:31:44.198 --> 00:31:47.028
I also don't think that it has to.

00:31:47.028 --> 00:31:50.536
You have to have a mental health disorder to do that either.

00:31:52.806 --> 00:31:55.711
I did a podcast with a sheriff from Tarrant County.

00:31:55.711 --> 00:31:58.897
He said that 80% of the people in his jail shared three things.

00:31:58.897 --> 00:32:05.392
So one of them is no father in their life, no education and some outside influence, whether it's gangs or drugs.

00:32:05.392 --> 00:32:12.921
And so I wonder if that also has a play in this area too, because I think it's a multitude of things.

00:32:12.921 --> 00:32:18.938
If they're a narcissist, they're a narcissist, and if they're an extreme narcissist, then it's never their fault, it's always somebody else's fault.

00:32:18.938 --> 00:32:21.969
I wonder if drugs could have an impact on this.

00:32:21.969 --> 00:32:27.537
Lack of fathers who never taught them how to treat a woman, or they never learned how to treat a woman.

00:32:27.537 --> 00:32:28.719
Lack of faith?

00:32:28.719 --> 00:32:34.971
Obviously we talk about how a divorce 50% of marriage is in a divorce.

00:32:34.971 --> 00:32:38.978
If you just change it to where they attend church regularly, it goes down.

00:32:38.978 --> 00:32:45.477
The divorce rate goes way down immediately, and so I think, probably lack of faith.

00:32:45.477 --> 00:32:46.598
But I don't know.

00:32:46.598 --> 00:32:49.164
Drugs, probably it's a multitude of things.

00:32:49.164 --> 00:33:01.164
And, like you said, mental health, and I would never say, hey, other things I would say there, but for the grace of God, goes me.

00:33:01.164 --> 00:33:03.348
I mean it could have been me anytime.

00:33:03.348 --> 00:33:07.096
I mean my daughter is 25.

00:33:07.096 --> 00:33:07.758
She's not married.

00:33:07.758 --> 00:33:19.377
I pray for her future husband right now and so hoping that God will grace us with a godly man or a godly significant other.

00:33:19.377 --> 00:33:24.885
And I do that for both of my children, because she never know, I mean.

00:33:24.885 --> 00:33:27.328
And also, once you get married they can change.

00:33:27.328 --> 00:33:41.928
Because you know, the first house I ever owned, the couple that lived next to me, the wife, was in a car accident and got hooked on prescription painkillers and never really recovered from it and they ended up getting divorced and he got custody of both kids.

00:33:41.928 --> 00:33:51.701
So it's, you know, like you said, there's a multitude of causes and it's not a cookie cutter thing, but it's, you know, I don't know.

00:33:53.226 --> 00:34:10.590
It is very difficult to pinpoint what happens in the abuser, and it's also difficult to pinpoint if there's something within the victim that predisposes them to becoming a victim, and I don't think that that's necessarily 100% true.

00:34:10.590 --> 00:34:16.717
You can look at lower socioeconomic status or lower education rates, but there are people, myself included.

00:34:16.717 --> 00:34:24.938
I have a master's degree, I've been educated in domestic violence and I still was a victim of domestic violence.

00:34:25.445 --> 00:34:28.854
If you don't mind me asking in your situation, what was the trigger for abuse?

00:34:31.207 --> 00:34:33.992
I still cannot figure that out myself.

00:34:33.992 --> 00:34:41.164
I think that initially I excused a lot of behaviors or ignored the red flags that were there.

00:34:41.164 --> 00:34:47.032
And I think as time went on there was alcohol.

00:34:47.032 --> 00:35:01.539
Alcohol was definitely a factor that made it worse, but it was still there and I'm not really sure for the longest time I was looking at myself and what I had done to bring on the abuse, or bring on.

00:35:01.539 --> 00:35:09.431
It started with, you know, verbal, emotional, psychological initially, and then it escalated to physical and sexual violence.

00:35:09.431 --> 00:35:13.297
But I looked at myself like what did I do?

00:35:13.297 --> 00:35:15.039
How do I change my behavior?

00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:20.594
And I think that's a lot of that's a very common thing that victims think is what did I do?

00:35:20.594 --> 00:35:22.798
Because everything was great before.

00:35:22.798 --> 00:35:29.878
But I think another common trait within the abusers is they know how to manipulate.

00:35:29.878 --> 00:35:39.880
So they do this technique of love bombing and making you think everything's wonderful, and that's what kind of sucks you in, and then their true colors show.

00:35:39.880 --> 00:35:42.768
So it's hard to say.

00:35:42.768 --> 00:35:50.960
I think an important thing is to recognize your own personal boundaries and what you know is okay and what's not okay.

00:35:50.960 --> 00:35:53.568
But you have to recognize different red flags and I know there's a.

00:35:53.568 --> 00:36:01.480
There are blurred lines between what is a normal concern versus a blatant red flag.

00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:04.246
The terrorist behavior I need to remove myself.

00:36:04.246 --> 00:36:12.255
And another trap I think that victims fall into is you end up in this relationship kind of down the road.

00:36:12.255 --> 00:36:20.954
You don't realize that you're in an abusive relationship until all of a sudden you do recognize it and then now you don't know how to get out of it.

00:36:20.954 --> 00:36:39.195
And then that's where the fear of is a legal system really going to protect me if I go about this route, if I contact the police, if I file a report, if I have this individual arrested, if I get a restraining order, what is it going to do to truly protect me?

00:36:39.195 --> 00:36:47.936
So I think that's what one of the problems is the victims feel stuck and they don't know how to get out once they realize they should.

00:36:48.346 --> 00:36:49.311
What I mean.

00:36:49.311 --> 00:36:51.405
Okay, here's my two cents.

00:36:51.405 --> 00:37:16.048
So when I came to Tyler where I live, you know, 20, 30 years ago, I joined a church and it was a very big church and so I was in the singles department and then years later I met my wife and we got married and we were in the young married couples department and so we never had anything to do with the single department anymore.

00:37:16.048 --> 00:37:34.016
We were in the young married couples department and then when we started having kids, we moved to the newly kids department, you know, married with kids department, and that can be really isolating at times, where it's just you and your spouse or your spouse and your kids.

00:37:34.016 --> 00:37:37.565
And you know my wife is.

00:37:37.565 --> 00:38:03.690
We've been together for a long time and I think one of the reasons why is because we have common religious backgrounds, but we also, I think, to a certain amount, we have manipulation histories as well, and I think one of the things that we kind of kind of made agreement unspoken, as we don't manipulate each other and we also stand up for each other.

00:38:03.690 --> 00:38:17.398
I mean, you know, like you know, when you have teenage kids and you're 13 years old, as being a 13 year old I mean, I'm the first one to stand up for my wife you do not talk to your mother like that and my wife is the first one to stand up for me.

00:38:17.398 --> 00:38:27.579
And I think sometimes, you know it's very difficult in those situations to say you crossed the line on the way you're treating me, Stop it, Don't do it again.

00:38:27.579 --> 00:38:29.710
And then it gets to where they do it.

00:38:29.710 --> 00:38:34.063
And so then that may you know you start questioning Well, is I mean?

00:38:34.063 --> 00:38:34.670
I don't even know.

00:38:34.670 --> 00:38:46.710
I mean, I mean I think it's, but I think it's very important to say, hey, that's not acceptable, Don't do that, Please stop that, because but I'm not an expert and I don't have any expertise on this.

00:38:46.710 --> 00:38:49.639
All I know is that's wrong, it shouldn't happen.

00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:57.922
And we you know people who are suffering through that need to be able to rely on the criminal justice system, and bell reform failures are making it where.

00:38:57.922 --> 00:39:01.572
There's no way you can rely upon them, you have to run, you just, you have no choice.

00:39:02.710 --> 00:39:13.710
And that's the difficult part too, because you have victims who have children or they have pets or they have other things that they're trying to get together, and it's it takes time to get all of that together.

00:39:13.710 --> 00:39:30.177
They can be as prepared as they possibly can to run when it's time to run, but, like you said, if the abuser is released immediately and comes straight home, that person may not be out of the house yet, and that's where the problem can come up.

00:39:30.869 --> 00:39:34.898
Well, it becomes, it escalates, you know, in taxes, like where I live.

00:39:34.898 --> 00:39:36.121
We've had the courthouse.

00:39:36.121 --> 00:39:43.657
We've had some shootings at the courthouse it's a long time ago now but the shootings are not criminal cases, they're always family law cases.

00:39:43.657 --> 00:39:53.710
And you know, we've had one situation where there was a court of appeals argument in Fort Worth and someone brought in a gun and started shooting up the judges on this panel three judge panel.

00:39:53.710 --> 00:39:55.710
That was a family law case.

00:39:55.710 --> 00:40:04.284
So you know, our family disputes are much more susceptible to violence than anything else.

00:40:04.284 --> 00:40:06.855
I think Because you're you know, I always took.

00:40:06.855 --> 00:40:14.014
One of the reasons why I don't have never done divorce law is because I've always heard that when you're going through divorce, you get, go through a crazy process, you go through a crazy period.

00:40:14.014 --> 00:40:20.623
Well, I think when all these things are happening, that's a very unsettling time.

00:40:20.623 --> 00:40:39.161
And if you're dealing with an accuser or you have your perpetrator is unstable to begin with, and then you add on top of that all the stress of this and suddenly their life is as they saw it, or maybe as they measured.

00:40:39.161 --> 00:40:40.103
It is now over.

00:40:40.103 --> 00:40:43.172
They're not willing for that to happen and that's a problem.

00:40:44.315 --> 00:40:44.876
Absolutely.

00:40:44.876 --> 00:41:00.222
That's probably, I think, statistically the most dangerous part of an abusive relationship is when the victim chooses to leave or is in the process of leaving, and it is because the perpetrator is potentially facing criminal charges.

00:41:00.222 --> 00:41:16.498
They have the realistic possibility of losing their children or their home, or even their career, depending on what that is, and then they also realize that they're losing their power over the victim, and I think that's a huge part that plays into it too.

00:41:16.498 --> 00:41:26.664
That's interesting, though, that family, the family cases have that higher incidence of violence at the courts in the courts, that's crazy.

00:41:27.224 --> 00:41:31.927
Yeah, we had a shooting at the courthouse here in Smith County years ago and it was a family issue.

00:41:31.927 --> 00:41:34.556
It was not a criminal case.

00:41:34.556 --> 00:41:38.820
It wasn't something about somebody trying to get them out of the jail.

00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:47.195
It was dealing with a family situation, a divorce or a child custody, I don't remember, but it was a family issue.

00:41:47.797 --> 00:41:50.014
Yeah, either way, that's a very difficult time.

00:41:50.869 --> 00:41:59.302
When you're dealing with issues, also when you're dealing with domestic violence survivors, you know how do you keep these people from seeing their children.

00:41:59.302 --> 00:42:02.179
They shouldn't be around the children.

00:42:02.179 --> 00:42:08.262
They shouldn't be around the children, but that creates a whole other level of angst and stress.

00:42:09.612 --> 00:42:28.583
And, yes, and again it's that lack of faith in the judicial system that do I fight for child custody, do I actually go to a hearing, do I have this trial, or do we try to settle the parent plan outside of court?

00:42:28.583 --> 00:42:33.922
And maybe I have to give some time to my abuser.

00:42:33.922 --> 00:42:37.710
But if I don't do that then it's ultimately kind of just up to the judge.

00:42:37.710 --> 00:42:40.599
Like the judge can say, you know what, whatever 50-50.

00:42:40.599 --> 00:42:45.501
Or you know, let me give more time over to that person versus you.

00:42:45.501 --> 00:42:56.983
It's a very scary time, especially when you're coming out of this relationship and now you're also faced with I have to do everything on my own.

00:42:56.983 --> 00:43:05.802
We were supposed to be have this partnership and now I have to form this life with my kids and try to normalize our lives.

00:43:05.802 --> 00:43:10.699
In this different situation, Victims also can be financially abused.

00:43:10.699 --> 00:43:19.710
So they come out, they have zero credit or, you know, no monetary background to call upon.

00:43:20.932 --> 00:43:21.876
Look at Tina Turner.

00:43:21.876 --> 00:43:25.385
She left her husband and she walked away.

00:43:25.385 --> 00:43:26.690
She gave him everything to get away.

00:43:27.632 --> 00:43:30.099
She did and I actually I did an episode on her.

00:43:30.099 --> 00:43:37.710
She was cleaning houses to try to make a living and she was on food stamps for a time period as well.

00:43:37.710 --> 00:43:44.503
But I kind of think if she can do it, if she could do all that, and then she became this icon of Tina Turner.

00:43:45.030 --> 00:43:52.623
Well, isn't that the lesson, or the lesson from that is you may go through hell for a time, but it's only hell for a time.

00:43:52.623 --> 00:44:01.384
There is a light at the end of this tunnel and you will get through it, but you need support.

00:44:01.384 --> 00:44:04.679
You can't do it on your own, and it's okay to say you can't do it on your own.

00:44:04.679 --> 00:44:06.300
It's kind of like going through cancer.

00:44:06.300 --> 00:44:18.710
I have a friend going through cancer right now and I call her every couple of days to check on her because I just want her to know I'm supporting her, and I think this really is a good analogy for going through and surviving these situations.

00:44:18.710 --> 00:44:20.211
You need support.

00:44:20.211 --> 00:44:28.405
You need support to get you back on your feet, to get you through the dark time and to start over, because that's really what you're doing.

00:44:30.112 --> 00:44:41.690
Yes, and you need to know who you can count on and hope that the processes that are in place, that are designed to help you, will come through and actually really do help you.

00:44:43.211 --> 00:44:52.184
One of the questions that I've thought about recently is you know, it must be really difficult when you go through one of these situations and you get back on your feet.

00:44:52.184 --> 00:44:57.581
How do you ever take a chance on trusting another partner?

00:45:00.373 --> 00:45:01.655
That's a very interesting point.

00:45:01.655 --> 00:45:16.523
A lot of domestic violence victims actually end up in another abusive relationship, but I think it is important for each domestic violence victim to really do some self-reflection.

00:45:16.750 --> 00:45:25.710
You know, I was always taught that people can show their best side for a time, a short time, that they can't do it for a long time.

00:45:25.710 --> 00:45:38.425
So if you're seeing somebody for a year, for four seasons, it's more difficult for them to hide it.

00:45:38.425 --> 00:45:42.460
You know, I used to say that my wife and I were the opposites, you know, opposites of track.

00:45:42.460 --> 00:45:45.358
She's very much an introvert and I'm more of an extrovert.

00:45:45.358 --> 00:45:46.692
But I really don't think that.

00:45:46.692 --> 00:45:55.856
I think what brought us together was our common religious beliefs and when we've, you know, had stressors in our relationship.

00:45:55.856 --> 00:46:01.690
One of our daughters had a bone marrow transplant when she was five and she's now in college doing well.

00:46:01.690 --> 00:46:06.710
But I mean, you know, we leaned much more heavily on our faith.

00:46:06.710 --> 00:46:10.498
And so I mean I look at what are our.

00:46:10.498 --> 00:46:12.603
I mean I don't think there's an easy answer here.

00:46:12.603 --> 00:46:14.648
I mean there's just not a cookie cutter answer.

00:46:14.648 --> 00:46:19.958
And so I mean I would just say we have to find our.

00:46:19.958 --> 00:46:23.505
What is it that is common between us and is that healthy?

00:46:23.505 --> 00:46:26.639
And if it's not, maybe it's not.

00:46:26.639 --> 00:46:30.420
I mean, I've always, you know, I've always refused to date people who didn't attend my church.

00:46:30.420 --> 00:46:43.378
And then my wife makes a joke and saying, yeah, but after you dated all of them, then you would date somebody that didn't attend a church but you, so you would, you kind of change the rule a little bit.

00:46:43.378 --> 00:46:55.710
And then when we met she was a different faith and so the whole time we dated we'd go one church, one Sunday to her church, the next Sunday to mine, and we did that all the way through our dating relationship.

00:46:55.710 --> 00:46:57.054
We got married to her church.

00:46:57.054 --> 00:47:11.438
We did that while we were married and when my wife came to me and said she was ready to start a family, I said, well, you know, we can't start, we can't have a family until we're all, we're both members of the same church family.

00:47:11.438 --> 00:47:17.101
And so we made a commitment to find a common church that we could call home.

00:47:17.101 --> 00:47:19.436
And then we started a family.

00:47:19.436 --> 00:47:27.003
And you know, I like to say, with what we've been through, you know, life is not, you know, a kitty ride.

00:47:27.003 --> 00:47:30.818
It is not, it's not made for the soft of heart.

00:47:30.818 --> 00:47:42.597
It is the scariest ride at six flags you can get on and it may even make you throw up, and that's the reality.

00:47:42.597 --> 00:47:47.860
And sometimes you just have to survive the really, really bad times.

00:47:47.860 --> 00:47:54.934
And I wouldn't have done it without my faith and I still could have been.

00:47:54.934 --> 00:47:58.802
You know, I still could not have survived some of those things.

00:47:58.802 --> 00:48:02.690
All you had to do is add a couple of things and I wouldn't have survived.

00:48:02.690 --> 00:48:06.199
I wouldn't have survived because life is tough at times.

00:48:06.199 --> 00:48:13.690
And so I would say you know, that's really terrible, terrible advice, isn't it?

00:48:13.690 --> 00:48:18.007
But I think that's probably the most accurate is life is a scary ride.

00:48:18.007 --> 00:48:23.710
We have to survive it, and when you get into a point that's get too scary, you got to get off that ride and get on a different one.

00:48:23.710 --> 00:48:39.710
And if that means you have to go run and hide and plan and get as much support as you can for a period of time, because you can't rely upon law enforcement because of these bell reform failures, you will get through it, you will readjust and you will flourish.

00:48:39.710 --> 00:48:55.603
I mean, some of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was you know, this young girl was kidnapped and she was kidnapped for a couple of years, living with this homeless guy and his significant other, and they just abused the crap out of her.

00:48:55.603 --> 00:49:03.483
And when she was finally found, her mother said told her do not let this guy steal your joy.

00:49:03.483 --> 00:49:16.856
The best punishment you can give to this guy is be happy and joyful, and she's since gotten married, started a family, and she speaks out on.

00:49:16.856 --> 00:49:21.204
The best advice she got was from her mother, saying don't let this guy steal your joy.

00:49:23.472 --> 00:49:37.246
And I think that's amazing advice, because that's what they have this, this control, and the more you let them have this control over you, even if you're out of the relationship, the more you let them weigh you down emotionally.

00:49:37.246 --> 00:49:53.710
They're still winning, but if you go and you don't let them affect you and you live this, you go and forge forward and live this amazing life of just feeling confident and happy.

00:49:53.710 --> 00:49:55.670
That's everything.

00:49:55.670 --> 00:49:56.902
They've lost.

00:49:56.902 --> 00:49:57.588
Everything, then.

00:49:57.588 --> 00:49:59.135
Yes.

00:49:59.615 --> 00:50:08.407
I agree, I agree, and that's probably the best punishment you can give them is you are joyful and you are alive.

00:50:08.847 --> 00:50:09.630
I completely agree.

00:50:09.630 --> 00:50:11.018
What a great conversation.

00:50:11.784 --> 00:50:12.690
Yeah, thank you for having me.

00:50:12.690 --> 00:50:23.385
I've enjoyed this so much and we need to have more of these types of conversations and we need to get this area of our society fixed.

00:50:23.385 --> 00:50:24.813
Yes, I agree.

00:50:25.757 --> 00:50:25.978
I agree.

00:50:25.978 --> 00:50:41.125
Well, thank you so much for all the work that you're doing and I know we're going to have I'll have it a link with your bio on the website, which will can point everybody to the different variety of things that you mentioned earlier.

00:50:41.125 --> 00:50:45.317
So you're going to be a great resource, I think, for all of us.

00:50:45.677 --> 00:50:47.541
Well, thank you, I look forward to it.

00:50:48.202 --> 00:50:48.503
All right.

00:50:48.503 --> 00:50:51.355
Well, I appreciate you coming on again and have a great day.

00:50:51.355 --> 00:50:53.039
All right, Thank you, bye, okay.
Ken W. Good Profile Photo

Bail Attorney

About Ken W. Good - Board of Directors, Professional Bondsmen of Texas:
Ken W. Good graduated from Hardin Simmons University in 1982 with a Bachelor of Arts Degree. He received a Master of Education Degree in 1986 from Tarleton State University, a part of the Texas A&M System. In 1989, he received his law degree from Texas Tech School of Law, where he was a member of the Texas Tech Law Review. Mr. Good has argued cases before the Supreme Court of Texas and the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals, along with numerous courts of appeals, including the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. He is the author of "Good’s on Bail," a practice guide created for bail industry professionals. In addition, he has written numerous articles on the subject of bail reform, including, “What Successful Bail Reform Looks Like.” Mr. Good is married and has two daughters.