Dec. 17, 2024

Domestic Violence During the Holidays: Protecting Yourself and Others I Ep. 49

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
YouTube podcast player badge
Amazon Music podcast player badge
iHeartRadio podcast player badge
Deezer podcast player badge
PlayerFM podcast player badge
Podcast Addict podcast player badge
Podchaser podcast player badge
PocketCasts podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
Castbox podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconYouTube podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconiHeartRadio podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconPlayerFM podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconPocketCasts podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconCastbox podcast player icon
Season 2

The holiday season is often a time of joy and togetherness, but for many, it also brings heightened stress and danger, especially for those affected by domestic violence. Join me, Ingrid, as I share crucial insights into why instances of domestic violence surge during this festive period. From financial strain to the emotional toll of past traumas resurfacing, I explore the various pressures that escalate tensions and the unique challenges survivors face in seeking help during holiday closures. I offer practical advice for victims on how to protect themselves and their loved ones, from escape planning to setting boundaries, and maintaining mental well-being amidst the chaos.

This episode isn't just for those who are directly affected; it's a call to action for bystanders, family members, and colleagues. Learn how to spot the signs of abuse and establish safe communication methods to support those in need. Discover ways to provide moments of respite and foster an environment where victims feel supported and understood. Remember, abuse is never okay, and help is always available. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion aimed at ensuring a safer holiday season for everyone, and be sure to check the show notes for additional resources and information.

Sources:
https://www.cawc.org/news/why-domestic-violence-increases-during-the-holiday-season/
https://www.dvact.org/post/why-does-domestic-violence-increase-over-christmas
https://womenagainstcrime.com/domestic-violence-and-the-holidays-what-you-should-know/
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/safety-planning-for-the-holiday
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/safety-planning-with-children/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

WEBVTT

00:00:23.559 --> 00:00:27.111
Hi Warriors, welcome to 1 in 3, I'm your host, ingrid.

00:00:27.111 --> 00:00:36.790
I know I said I was going to have a guest on this week, but I have some important information I want to get out before we get too much further into the holiday season.

00:00:36.790 --> 00:01:04.057
The reason is because this episode is about just that the holiday season.

00:01:04.057 --> 00:01:11.853
While full of love and cheer for many, it's often full of dread and fear for others.

00:01:11.853 --> 00:01:18.052
The already staggering statistics surrounding domestic violence surge this time of year.

00:01:18.052 --> 00:01:27.834
Some reasons for the rise in violence include financial strain, stress from work or family obligations and an increase in alcohol and drug consumption.

00:01:27.834 --> 00:01:32.831
Remember the abuse includes violent acts against children as well.

00:01:32.831 --> 00:01:42.850
It may also be difficult for victims to secure assistance with domestic violence agencies due to potentially reduced hours surrounding the holidays.

00:01:42.850 --> 00:01:51.590
We need to recognize those survivors who have successfully left their abusive homes may find the holiday season difficult to navigate too.

00:01:51.590 --> 00:02:00.433
Again, financial strain plays a large role in this, but we have to consider the emotional toll of feeling alone as well.

00:02:00.433 --> 00:02:07.112
This time of year may also be triggering, as past memories of violence can resurface.

00:02:07.112 --> 00:02:10.188
So what are we supposed to do with this information?

00:02:10.188 --> 00:02:17.925
Well, listen up, because I'm going to give you some suggestions For the victim or survivor.

00:02:19.009 --> 00:02:20.052
Have an escape plan.

00:02:20.052 --> 00:02:24.790
Get a bag packed and a safe location secured in advance.

00:02:24.790 --> 00:02:29.312
Make plans for your children and pets, if that applies to your situation.

00:02:29.312 --> 00:02:38.764
Check in with someone routinely, create a code word with that person and make sure you are both clear on what that code means.

00:02:38.764 --> 00:02:43.294
For example, come over or call the police, etc.

00:02:43.294 --> 00:02:48.063
You can also consider creating a code word regarding your mental health.

00:02:48.063 --> 00:02:54.253
Like I mentioned before, work and family obligations are at a high this time of year.

00:02:54.253 --> 00:03:03.139
You may find yourself in a crowd that feels uncomfortable or triggering.

00:03:03.139 --> 00:03:10.176
Use the code word for your support person to talk you through or physically get you out of that situation.

00:03:10.176 --> 00:03:16.772
Come up with ways to get out of the house, like present shopping, getting groceries, taking pets to the vet or going to doctor's appointments.

00:03:16.772 --> 00:03:26.466
You may just need a break from being in the same environment as your abuser, or you could take this opportunity to run If traveling.

00:03:26.466 --> 00:03:30.995
Pay attention to opportunities for escape if necessary.

00:03:30.995 --> 00:03:42.764
Don't be afraid to set boundaries with anyone and everyone and finally, keep your mental and emotional well-being in check.

00:03:42.764 --> 00:03:48.615
Indulge in whatever self-care practices you need to keep yourself grounded.

00:03:49.561 --> 00:03:56.433
If children are involved, make sure they are aware of safe places within the home to retreat, if necessary.

00:03:56.433 --> 00:04:03.693
Educate them on not getting involved or stepping in during violent attacks.

00:04:03.693 --> 00:04:10.872
Create code words with them as to when to go to their safe place or when to run away, etc.

00:04:10.872 --> 00:04:31.053
Teach them who the safe adults are that they can trust, and consider having them stay with trusted adults if anticipating violent behavior For the bystander, family member or colleague recognize signs of potential abuse.

00:04:31.053 --> 00:04:42.755
This could include bruises or wearing long-sleeved clothing or turtlenecks, regardless of weather, in order to cover injuries, using heavy makeup to disguise injuries.

00:04:42.755 --> 00:04:52.814
There could be changes in personality, like becoming withdrawn, becoming more emotional, anxious, depressed or avoiding social interactions.

00:04:53.939 --> 00:04:56.709
Support the victim or survivor.

00:04:56.709 --> 00:05:01.531
Do not abandon them, even if you are frustrated with them.

00:05:01.531 --> 00:05:11.108
Let them know you are there for them, despite not leaving their abuser, and you are willing to help when they do decide to escape.

00:05:11.108 --> 00:05:15.940
Discuss safe ways to communicate with a victim or survivor.

00:05:15.940 --> 00:05:19.961
They may not be able to take phone calls or text messages.

00:05:19.961 --> 00:05:23.259
Create code words, as I mentioned earlier.

00:05:24.230 --> 00:05:29.442
Try to find ways to get the victim or survivor out of the house, even if it's only for a short time.

00:05:29.442 --> 00:05:33.661
Invite them to go shopping or to lunch or schedule a play date.

00:05:33.661 --> 00:05:40.711
Understand the victim or survivor, is doing what they can to survive.

00:05:40.711 --> 00:05:42.874
They are struggling.

00:05:42.874 --> 00:05:50.750
They feel overwhelmed, confused, possibly embarrassed and, most likely, alone.

00:05:50.750 --> 00:05:54.134
And this information is for everyone.

00:05:54.134 --> 00:06:11.533
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for questions or assistance at any time by calling 1-800-799-SAFE, that's 1-800-799-7233.

00:06:11.533 --> 00:06:23.786
You can also text the word START to 88788 or go to their website, which is thehotlineorg.

00:06:25.411 --> 00:06:34.480
Remember, it doesn't matter what time of year it is or what the excuse is Abuse is never okay.

00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:37.074
Thank you for listening.

00:06:37.074 --> 00:06:40.302
Sources for today are found in the show notes.

00:06:40.302 --> 00:06:47.603
I wish all of you a happy and, more importantly, safe holiday season.

00:06:47.603 --> 00:06:55.201
I'm going to be taking the next two weeks off, but I will be back next year with another episode for you.

00:06:55.201 --> 00:06:57.925
This time I will have my guest.

00:06:57.925 --> 00:07:08.382
Until then, stay strong and wherever you are in your journey, always remember you're not alone.

00:07:08.382 --> 00:07:15.877
Find more information, register as a guest or leave a review by going to the website 1in3podcastcom.

00:07:15.877 --> 00:07:17.105
That's the number 1-I website.

00:07:17.105 --> 00:07:17.627
One and three podcastcom that's the number one.

00:07:17.627 --> 00:07:20.478
I N the number three podcastcom.

00:07:20.478 --> 00:07:25.533
Follow one in three on Instagram, facebook and Twitter at one in three podcast.

00:07:25.533 --> 00:07:29.762
To help me out, please remember to rate, review and subscribe.

00:07:29.762 --> 00:07:35.774
One in three is a 0.5 Pinoy production music written and performed by Tim Crow.