When Love Turns Into Control: Luna's Teen Dating Violence Survivor Story (Part 1/2) | Ep. 123

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi Warriors, welcome to One and Three. I'm your host, Ingrid. Today's episode is part one of a two-part conversation with a domestic violence survivor we'll call Luna to protect her privacy. Luna was just a teenager when this relationship began. At first, everything seemed normal, but the relationship moved quickly, and so did the abuse. In this episode, Luna shares how subtle

Welcome and Content Warning

SPEAKER_01 0:24

red flags evolved into coercive control and escalating violence. In addition to the topics mentioned in the podcast disclaimer, please note that this episode includes discussions of strangulation. Let's begin. Hi Luna, I am very honored to have you join me today and welcome to One in Three. Thank you for having me today. Okay, so we're gonna get into a a bit of a story here, but beforehand, can you just share a little bit about yourself so that listeners can identify something with you?

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah, so what I'm trying to talk about today is pretty much just tell my story how I was abused by my ex. There was a lot of red flags in the beginning. I ignored them just because my relationship with my family wasn't that good. And I thought, you know, that person, you know, they're gonna change, but they never did.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

I think that's a hope that all of us have had is that the person will change either to what we believe they can be or what they showed us that they were at the beginning of the relationship. But I know it's difficult to share your story, it's difficult for any of us to talk out loud about what has happened. So I really do appreciate you coming on to share the story. And it's not about revenge, it's about helping others, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Yes. Okay. So whenever you are ready, we'll get into it.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

So this happened back in 2015. I was in high school. I was about 16 at that time. I started dating him because my mom and his mom are friends at that time. Uh, they met each other by another friend, so they have like a comet friend. And so every time we will go to a party

How The Relationship Started At 16

SPEAKER_00 2:26

and stuff like that, we will always see them. And I had a class of history with his brother, and his brother would be like, Oh, you know, my brother likes you. You know, he wants to date you. But I always thought it was just like a like a little joke or something like that. They were playing on me. Time went on and I decided to actually go on a date with him because he asked me out. And I did. I only funny is we went on a date one time and we started dating four weeks, and then we stopped talking out of nowhere. And it was just like, I forgot, you know, he forgot, or whatever it was. And I was like, huh. Aren't we dating? And then he he he one time he he messaged me on Facebook and he was like, I forgot we were dating. I was like, Oh yeah, me too. It was just funny because we're like doing our things. He just out of nowhere just messaged me and he was like, Oh, you know, we're still dating, we forgot we're dating each other, we haven't talked, or anything like that. So then um he asked me out again because he felt like, you know, it's been like so many months past and we haven't talked or anything. So he asked me out again, and I was like, Oh yeah, you know, hopefully we don't forget this time that we're dating each other. So we started dating again back in May. When he first asked me, it was like in in January, and we went back on May. And when he asked me out, he brought me this big white tape bears with like a rose, and he's like, Oh, I'm here, Tess, you have to go out again with me. And I was like, Okay, yeah. And then we just started like hanging out, talking more. Um, my birthday came around June, and he surprised me with a cake, and he's like, you know, I wanted to celebrate your birthday with your family. I was like, okay. Wow, okay. I was like, okay. And then so my mom was just like calling my aunt, she's calling my cousins to get everyone around, and then she went to the store to buy cake and all these other stuff, and I was like, okay, last minute party, I guess. And then we're just like celebrating, and I end up putting a picture of a little cupcake that he brought me with a clown on it, and then on the on like on on the side of the paper of the cake is said, I'm happy I'm with you. So after that was cute, so I posted on Facebook, and a lot of people, like my friends and family, started commenting, like, oh, that's so cute. You're who are you dating? And they're asking like so many questions, and I'm like, oh, okay. So I was like re replying back and forward with them, and then I saw that he was like kind of like eyesighting

Jealousy Over A Simple Facebook Post

SPEAKER_00 5:20

me, you know, kind of like, what is she doing on the phone? Why is she on the phone too much? So I put the phone down and I saw that he was like kind of like upset, but he didn't want to show it. So like I I told him, like, hey, you know what's wrong. He was like, We're working you're on your phone too much. And I was like, okay, I'll just put it away. And I'll put it away. Two days later, two days later, he told me if I wanted to go to Great America. I was like, Yeah, let's go. We went with his brother and we were having fun because me and his brother have history class together, so like we were talking a lot, you know. We were talking about like the project and how awful the teacher was and how he's gonna ruin our lives and stuff like all the high school drama. Yeah, and um so he was just looking at me and he was like so serious, and then I noticed he his brother tells um Jesus something, and he's like, I don't know what he said, and then his sous looks at me, and then he just gives me like a uh, you know, like one of those fake smiles that you you t you can tell it's fake. And I was like, Okay, he doesn't like it now. I'm talking to his brother a lot. So then we're I was just just quiet, and then we were just on the rise and we were eating and stuff. So then I go home and I go home because I got home late. It was past like, it was late. It was almost like one o'clock in the morning, and my mom and she was like, Where are you? You know, you took too long, you know what time it is, and tomorrow it's like a Monday, and you have summer school, and I'm like, Oh my god, mom, like I'm here. Like I was texting you, letting you know I was gonna be home late. Like, you never replied, so I thought it was gonna be okay. And it was just it wasn't like on purpose, it was just due to the traffic and the time we got there and stuff, and it was just me going back and forth with her, and I just felt like I had to leave home. And at one o'clock in the morning I left. I was just walking around the streets, and she didn't know where I went, and she ended up calling Jesus, and she was like, Hey, you know, she left, she she doesn't answer her phone. I need you to come get her. Look for her. So he calls me and he's like, Where are you? Your mom called me. Are you okay? What's going on? And I'm like crying over the phone because my mom had never put her hands on me that day. Like, like that day. Like it was it went full on, like me trying to get away from her and me pushing her away and running down the stairs and stuff. So I was just crying on the phone. And I was like, you know, I just got into an argument with my mom. She she put hands on me and I just had to leave home. I I didn't feel safe with her there. And he was like, tell me where you are, and I was like, I'm the alley where my my aunt lives. And he was like, Are you going to her house? And I was like, I probably will. And he was like, wait for me right there, I'll go get you. He lives about like 20 minutes. He gets her in 10. He was driving, he was speeding. He gets away with his brother. So we just stay there for a while until I calm down, and then he takes me back home. And he was like, Well, I'm gonna stay here just in case, you know, things get out of hand again, and you just come down outside and I'll I'll take you to my house and I'll talk to my mom and if you can stay over. And I was like, okay. So then he goes on, he's he's on the phone talking to his mom. He was like, you know, telling her, explaining her what was going on. She's like, well, if she doesn't feel safe, if something else happened, you could come and bring her and she could stay here over the night. And I was like, oh my god, like I'm so embarrassed. What is she gonna think? You know, it's just like a lot of things going on in my mind. So I go home, my mom, she's in the couch crying, and I just go to my room. I don't I don't do anything, and I just end up falling asleep, right? Next day I go back to summer school, the first day of summer school, and he comes and picks me up to take me to school. And he was like, What? Did your mom say anything? Did she come down? I was like, She can't she calmed down. I just went to my room and I ended up falling asleep. By the time that he come he picked me up, my mom was already at work because she ended up going and work at 6 a.m. by that time, and I went to summer school at 8. So she was already at work and he just dropped me. I went inside in school, and then summer school was like about like four hours or something like that, and then he picked me up. So during summer school, he would just like pick me up, take me to school, and then take me back home just because he didn't want me to walk home, where I just lived probably like three blocks away from there. Because he didn't think it was safe for me to walk alone. Months passed, we're we're going back to like September when school starts going on. Um he by this time we were talking, there was always like back and forth arguments about little things about uh me posting a picture on on Facebook or on Instagram, me not answering

Isolation Rules and School Surveillance

SPEAKER_00 11:06

my my phone when I'm in summer school or when I'm asleep, stuff like that. Um it was just back and forth stuff like that. Where once I started going back to school, he started going to visit me during school hours.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Now he was not in school, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:26

No, he wasn't in school, he got kicked out of that school, the same school I was going in, because of a of a fight that went on where he ended up bringing a weapon to school and his brother. Oh goodness. Both of them got kicked out. Uh, that was kind of during like almost in the end of the school year when they got kicked out. So when I went back to the school year, they weren't in the school year with me. So he went to visit me during school hours, and every time they would see him there, they're like, you know, if you come again, we're gonna call the cops. And I was like, just don't come. Like, I don't want you to get in trouble, it's not worth it, you know. I don't want to go visit you at jail and stuff like that. And he was like, Oh, why don't you want me to come and visit you? Like, are you hiding something? Like, what's going on? And I'm like, it's nothing of that, it's just like I don't want you to get in trouble. You know you're not allowed around the school area. So then he stopped. He stopped coming, but he will only pick me up and drop me off from school. And I remember this one time one of my friends was dating, one of my best friends was dating a guy, and we were waiting for her outside of the school gate. And he uh his sous arrives to to pick me up. And I was talking to my friend's boyfriend at that time. I was talking to him, and he's like, Oh, I think your right is here. And I was like, Oh yeah, that's that's my boyfriend, I should go. And then I he he got close to me to give me a hug, because that's what we usually do to each other, like just give each other a hug, right? And then he comes out of the car and then he's like, Luna, let's go. And I was like, Okay. First time he ever talked to me in that tone. So I was like, okay. And I will I went to his car and I got inside and I told him, like, hey, like, can you tell me what's going on? Like, why you're upset? Why are you in this town? He was like, Why were you with that guy? And I was like, That's uh my best friend's boyfriend. Like, we we're friends, we hang out. And he was like, I don't ever want you to see you with him ever again. Like, you cannot have male friends ever. And I was like, why not? Like, what's wrong with it? And he was like, Guys are only out for one thing, and I was like, Oh, well, you have female friends, so like, are you with them for one thing? He was like, Well, that's different. You can't I was like, Okay. So, like, I left it like that. I didn't want to argue with him, and I was like, you know, I just don't want to argue. I told him, um, we were we were gonna go out to eat dinner with his dad because it was his birthday. And I was like, you know, just take me home. I don't feel good. I I really don't feel good, just take me home. And he was like, Well, we already made plans and I already uh told him that you're going and this and that. You already paid for your part of food, and I was like, Well, I give you the money, I just don't want to go, like I really don't feel good. And he takes me home. My mom that day, she ended up arriving home early, and she's like, he tells my mom, she's like, Luna doesn't want to go to the dinner. And my mom was like, Why? What happened? And I just look at my mom and I'm like, I can't tell her. And I was like, I don't feel good, like my stomach is hurting again. And she was like, Well, I told you to stop eating those hot cheese, and it was just another fight with her. So now I'm like, Okay, I can't be at home. I can't go with him to celebrate his dad's birthday. So, like, where do I go? And my aunt calls, my mom, and she was like, Oh, is Luna there? And my mom was like, Yeah. She's like, Can you bring her over? Because I need you, I need her to help me out. Babysit, a little girl that she was being set. And she's like, I need her because I'm gonna go to a doctor's appointment and I can't take her. And I was like, Oh yes, she's my she saved me that day. That was like perfect, yeah. And I told him, I was like, okay, then I have to go. I can't, you know, not go. She needs me. And he left, he left mad, and I end up going like two miles where she lives, walking, because he didn't want to drive me because he was mad. So I was like, that's fine. I can walk there.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Well, it's interesting, it's safe now for you to walk when before it wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah. And then it was when I get there, he's he's just like, I don't know why you're acting like this. Like, what did my family do to you to not celebrate my dad's birthday? And it was just stuff like that. And I was like, shut my phone off, and I was like, I'm not dealing with this. I I can't knock today. While I was there, I was doing my homework, and it was probably like past I was already there probably like two, three hours, and I hear a knock on my aunt's door. I was like, why is my aunt knocking if she has her keys? So then I go and see on the on the what's it called, the peat hole that the door has, and I look and it hisses. And I was like, how does he know where she lives?

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

I was like, how does he know where she lives? And then I was like,

Showing Up Uninvited and Searching Houses

SPEAKER_00 17:13

oh my god, do I open, do I not open the door? And then the the little girl that was basically, she starts crying. So then he hears her crying, and then he's like, I know you're in there. I can hear the little girl crying, open the door. And I was like, okay, I'm just gonna open the door because the neighbors are starting to come out. And then I opened the door and I was like, What? How you got how how do you find me? And he's like, It's not that hard to find you. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, what? What do you mean it's not that hard to find me? Like, you don't even know where where my aunt lives, how you got this address? He was like, Here, mom. I was like, of course, she did give him the address. And then he's like, he just pushes the door and he walks in without me telling him, hey, you want to come in or stuff like that. He just walks in and he sat in the in the couch and he was like, So who's here? I was like, just me and a little girl. He was like, no, I heard a man's voice. I was like, the TV? Are you sure? And I was like, yeah. He was like, I'm gonna look around. And I was like, you can't look around. This is not your house, this is not my house. You can't just go inside someone's house and look around. And he was like, Why are you hiding? I was like, I'm not hiding anything. There's no one here. I'm by myself, literally by myself. And in that time, my cousin comes in. Um he's one year older than me. He walks in and he's like, his nickname for me, it's it's it's weird. He calls me baby for some reason. I don't know why. He always did. It's it's just weird when people hear him call me baby and and they know our cousin, they're like, ew, that's just weird, that's nasty. But he's like, hey baby, what are you doing here? When did you get here? And I was like, I got here like two hours ago. Your mom called me because she needed out to babysit her. And his hus looks at him and he's like, Why do you call her baby for? She's your cousin. Or are you guys cousins? And I'm like, we are cousins, it's just like the nickname that he has for me. And my cousin looks at me and he's like, just like, what the hell is he doing in my house? Like, who, you know? And I was like, hey, can you check in the in in the rooms who who is here? And he was like, why? And I just look at his ooze and I'm like, oh, because I just heard a noise coming out from the rooms, but I'm I was too scared to to check. And he was like, You guys are acting weird. So then he goes like to each room to check. Because if there were three rooms in the bathroom, he goes on each one and he's like, There's no one there. I was like, Are you sure there's no one there? Like under the bed, closet, everything. He was like, Yeah, I checked everything, there's no one there. And then he's like, he looks at me and he's like, You probably heard the the neighbors, because like the the houses are kind of like close to each other. There's just like a tiny little space. And I was like, probably. And then I just look at Jesus, and then Jesus just looks at me and he leaves without saying anything. And I was like, Oh my god, like you're not gonna believe what just happened. And he was like, What? I was like, he doesn't even have your mom address, and he got here. He's and he was like, How he got here? I was like, because my mom gave it to him. So then I was explaining to him like what happened, and then he was like, dude, you need to tell your mom like what's going on. And I was like, I can't. Like he he was the only one who who knew what was going on. Because he was kind of like the closest one I had as a family, even though we still had like argument stuff, but he was like the one I would tell him my secrets and stuff. And I told him, like, you can't tell anyone, you can't tell my mom, your mom, and like no one, you can't tell no one. And he was like, I won't tell no one unless it gets like really bad. And I was like, it won't. So then I leave. I he my cousin takes me um to to my house because by that time he ended up getting his permit driver's uh license. And he texts me and then my mom gets there and he and she's like, Did Jesus go see you? I was like, Yeah. Why why you give him the address? And she's like, Well, he was really worried because he didn't reply when he ticked it to see if you got there safely. And I oh my god, you lied to her. And I was like, My phone just died, and I didn't take my charger with me. And I was like, next time don't get him the address where I'm at. And she's like, why? I was like, just don't. Just don't. And then it it just stayed like that. I didn't he would text me, call me. I wouldn't reply. By three days I didn't reply. Her mom calls me. And she's like, You need to talk to him. He's so upset. He doesn't even want to get up to go to work. He doesn't want to eat. He's always in bed crying. He's he doesn't know what he did wrong. He doesn't know why you're acting like this. And I'm like, really? Am I the one who's like overreacting? Am I the one who's like the bad person right now? And I'm like, I was like, I can't. I'm busy right now. I'll I'll probably just text him later or call him later. And she's like, please do. I hate to see him like that. And I was like, I'll just call him before uh after lunch when I get from lunch. And she's like, okay, and she hangs up. Not literally, not even one minute later, when I call her, um, he texted me, are you really not gonna talk to me? And I'm like, You really had to use your mom to get me. Like, he's like, I'm not using no one. You should see me how I am right now. I'm heartbroken that you don't want to talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong. And

Guilt Trips Through His Mom and Pressure

SPEAKER_00 23:36

I'm like, I'm at school, we can talk later. And he gets to my school. So it's lunchtime. He gets to my school, and I see him arriving, and I'm like, oh my god, like what the heck is he doing here? And I because at school, at the high school that I went, there was like six security guards and one police officer. And I go up to one of the security guards, and I was like, hey, you know, I don't feel safe right now. And he was like, What's wrong? Because he knows me and he knew my friends and stuff. So he's like, What's wrong? I was like, my boyfriend's here, and he's not supposed to be here. And he's like, Who? And I was like, the one who's walking towards us right now. He's not supposed to be here. And he's like, Isn't he the one who who brought the weapon? I was like, Yeah, that's him. So then he goes up to him and he's like, You need to leave. And while I'm walking away, and I I go to my best friend and she's like, What's going on? And I was like, We have to leave. What do you mean we have to leave? Like, will you ditch school with me like right now? And she's like, What's what's going on? And I was like, I'll explain to you later, but just ditch school with me right now. Like, I don't feel safe around the school right now. And she's like, Well, this is the only place safe where like we have a police officer and like these other security guards. I was like, that won't stop anything. And I will she was like, Okay, I'm really scared. Like, what's going on? And I I tell her, like, hey, like, you know, we're just having arguments, and he shows up out of nowhere. Like, I haven't talked to him, and he shows up here, and he's not supposed to be here. And she's like, Okay, let's go. And we end up jumping the the back school fence. There's a there's a park behind our school, and we end up going to the bathroom of the park. We're just we just stay there. And next thing I know, his his mom is like blowing my phone, like nonstop calling, nonstop calling. And she leaves a voicemail and she's like, Sh he almost got arrested because of you. And I'm like, what? And my best friend will she's like, What do you mean what does she mean he almost got arrested? I'm like, I don't know. So then I was like, Did he try to fight the the security guard or is it because he brought a weapon and he's not supposed to be there? Like what's going on? So then I got scared and I got nervous and I'm like, okay, I need to talk to him, like what's going on? And I called him and he's like, I was like, where are you? And he's like, I'm up I'm at the police station. Why? And he was like, because I went to the school and I'm not supposed to be there. I was like, okay, why is your mom saying that you got arrested because of me? And then he was like, because I went there to talk to you since you didn't want to talk to me on the phone. Or you didn't want to see me. And I'm like, if I if I if I don't want to talk to you, I need my space. You should know that. Like I need my space to think stuff. And I told you I was gonna talk to you once I got home. And then he's like, Well, I already waited too long for you. So I thought it was better to just go there and and talk to you. And I'm like, okay, like just just just let me know when you get home. And he's like, Well, I don't know if I'm gonna be at home tonight or not. And I'm like, oh, okay, great. He he is gonna go to jail then. And so then I I go crying home. And I tell my mom, like, mom, his hoose might be in jail already, and she's like, why? And I'm like, because he came to see me at school when he knows that he's not supposed to be at school. And she's like, Well, that's his fault for being there if he knows he's not supposed to be there. But I didn't explain exactly why he was there. And it's it's just like I left it like that, and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna leave it. I wanna wait until he calls me and see if he's okay or not. Probably like a couple hours, I'm gonna say like four or five hours later, he ended up texting me saying that he was already going home. So they pretty much what they did was just like they like the fingerprints and they added him like a like a ticket or something like that. And they told him like if he went back there, then he was gonna get arrested because now they have proof that he went there at the first time and he was gonna get arrested if he went there again. Which now he couldn't drop me or pick me up there. He had to pick me up or drop me off like a block away. So it's day like that. He he told me he was gonna go home, and I was like, hey, can you stop by my house? We need to talk. And he was like, Okay, I'll be there. And he gets there and I'm like, We need to talk. Like, I don't know if I could do this. I I probably need like time to think about this. Like, and he was like, Oh, you don't love me. Just say that you're cheating on me or you want to be with someone else. I'm heartbroken, I haven't been eating and sleeping well for days because you don't want to talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong. And I'm like, oh my god, am I really this bad person? Like, am I overreacting? Am I right for saying that in my space? And I was like, okay, I'll go. And he was like, Do you want to go over to my house and we could talk there? And I was like, Who's there? And he was like, It's just us. And I was like, Why can't we just talk here at my house? He was like, Well, because your mom is here. Okay, and he was like, Well, I don't feel safe. What do you mean you don't feel safe? I'm the one who doesn't feel safe. He was like, Why you don't feel safe? Because you went to my school. What do you mean, why? And he was like, Well, I just want to talk to you. And I was like, Okay, fine. We could go to the store if you want, and we could talk in the parking lot or something, but I'm not going to your house. And he we went to the parking lot, we just started talking, and he ends up convincing me to go to his house, which I did. And then his family came over and they had like a barbecue, and I was like, I want to go home. I'm already tired. You know, tomorrow it's Friday, and every Friday we have like a Pratt test. And I was like, I need to go because we're gonna have a test tomorrow. I don't want to be too tired. And he was like, Oh, don't worry, you could you could go, you could go sleep in my bed, and I'll just wake you up later and take you home later. I was like, no, I want to go home right now. And he was like, No, you're gonna do exactly what I'm telling you to do, or you could go walking by yourself home. And I'm like, You expect me to walk like 10 miles home in the middle of the night when it's like 9 p.m. And he was like, It's either you walk home or you stay here. Like, and his brother's like, dude. Cause his brother's listening to everything, and he's like, Do you want to go home? I can take you home. And I was like, Yeah, can you take me home, please? And he was like, Yeah, get your stuff and I'm taking you home. And his sister didn't like that. He did not like that at all. So his brother takes me home. And I was like, I just hope you don't get in trouble. Like, you don't have any arguments with your brother because you just took me home. He was like, nah, oh, he won't get mad at me. So then later on, he texted me and saying, Hey, can I see you? And I was like, What do you mean, can you see me? Uh he was like, Yeah, we need to talk. I was like, okay. So he gets here, his brother gets there, and his brother has a busted lip. I was like, what happened to you? Like, why do you have your butt your lip busted? He was like, We we end up I end up getting in a fight with Jesus. I was like, why? Because I took you home.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

I was like, are you serious? He was like, Yeah. I'm like, you shouldn't have done that. I I could have just stayed there. And he was like, no, that wasn't right. You didn't feel safe at my house. You didn't feel comfortable staying at my house. And he shouldn't be talking to you like that. And I'm like, oh my god. So I was there and I I I told my mom, I was like, mom, can you help me um get eyes for his lip? And my mom was like, What happened? And then I turn around, I turn around and look at him, I was like, don't tell her. So he's like, I ran up to some guys and and at the stores and we started fighting. And I ended up putting some eyes, and he stayed there overnight, and he went the next day he went back home. Which I kind of felt like I was doing something wrong because I let him stay there. But he wasn't staying in my room, he was staying in the couch, but still it felt wrong for me to do so. And it was just like killing me, and it in my head was like, Oh my god, you know, you couldn't, you can't do that, you can't do that. You need to tell him what you did. So then I get my phone and I tell him, hey, your brother stayed the night over. I don't know what happened between you two, but he stayed here because my mom told him that he could stay here. And that day he did not talk to me at all. He ended up talking to me back until like Sunday. And then he went to get me. Like, he acted like nothing happened. Like he was fine, he was happy, he was excited to see me. He even got there with like a bouquet of flowers with chocolates, and I'm like, what's going on? I inside me, I was like, okay, but at the same time, I was like, what did he do? Right? Or what is what is he going to do that he feels like he has to bring this to me. So then he tells me that he wants me to he wants me to move me to move in with him. That he feel it was just better that way.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

So how long has it been now that you guys have been dating?

SPEAKER_00 34:18

It's been about five months.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Five months I've been dating. I was like, do you think

Love Bombing Then Pushing To Move In

SPEAKER_00 34:25

it's a little tattoo? Like, I'm only what 16? And you're he's two years older than me. Well, one year and a half older than me. And I'm like, we're a little bit too young for this. Like, I I still have to go to school, you know, I still want to have fun. Like, you know, I want to hang out with my friends. And he was like, you can still do that when you're living with me. I'm like, uh, I don't know, let me think about it. And then he we he was just like, okay, you know, take your time. You know, I don't want to pressure you, I don't want you to do something that you don't want to do. And I'm like, okay. So then days passed by. He did not bring it up. And by this time, because of my grades and the freshman year of high school, I was ditching a lot, and my grades weren't that good. I had to go, well, my mom had to go to court. So we were still dealing with that stuff, and my mom had to pay a fine of like $870 for me to not end up getting arrested for that. And so she was mad because she hadn't paid it, and I why she was mad. And I was just, and that time I was just like, just like, I don't know what you're so upset about. It's just school, and you know, and it caused an argument where my family and her said so many things, and I'm like, okay, I need to leave. And I tell her to and I was like, hey, you know, I think I should come and live with you. I think that's better for both of us. And and he's like, Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'll be there. He picks me up, and I'm I I already have like a a bag, my backback, and stuff with clothes and my school stuff. He picks me up, he takes me to his house, he's he's talking to his mom, and his mom comes out. Oh my god, you're I'm so excited that you're moving in with my son. Like, I have never seen him so happy before. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm excited too. And the first day I was there, everything was okay. You know, we were just having fun, we were talking, we were watching TV. I was we he had two other younger brothers. I was I was, you know, watching them, playing with them, stuff like that. So everything was fine. On the second day that I had to go back to school, he was like, I I think you should stay just for today. Why? Well, because we we still have to go get your other stuff. Well, we could get it later. I need to go to school. Like, I can't stop going to school, or I'm gonna get another ticket, or I might get arrested this time for not going to school. And he was like, Don't worry, I'll pay for it if you do. I was like, Okay, okay. So I ended up staying there just that that day, and the next day I go back to school, and it's just like he gave me $30, and those $30, he was like, um, buy lunch, because I was buying lunch at that time, so he was like, just buy lunch. If you need more, let me know, and I'll I'll come and take you more, bring you more. And it was just we were doing that for like two weeks, where he will drop me off, pick me up, give me money for lunch, everything was okay. And then it started slowing to I find out that this person is in your in your PE class. And I was like, Yeah. And he was like, Do you know he was the one who caused us to be to get in trouble? And I was like, huh? He was like, Yeah, he was the one who ended up calling the cops on us. And I was like, okay, what does that have to do with me? He was like, Well, I don't want you to be hanging out with him. I was like, I'm not hanging out with him. He's in my PE class where other kids are in and have to be around them. And he was like, Well, try to stay away from him if you can. I was like, Okay. And then it's like, it was like, well, this kid tells this, stay away from him. I was like, I don't even talk to him. And it's just like, he will find like any other little things like from people, and he was like, Stay away from him, stay away from her, she's bad influence on you, she's telling you things to do once you shouldn't be doing this. And then it was just by November, I end up dropping off school because it was just like I was going like probably like two tons a week by this time. And I was like, why just waste time? I should just drop off. So my mom ends up going to the school with dressers and tells them, like, hey, I can't force her to go. She doesn't want to go, I don't know what to do. And they were like, okay, we're just gonna drop her off. And then she has to deal with the consequences later. Um which I did. The only thing was that I couldn't get my driver's license until I ended up getting a high school diploma. Okay. That was like the only consequences I ended up getting, which I thought it was great because I wasn't gonna go to jail. But uh end up getting, you know, I told him like, hey, I just wrap off, like, I don't have to go back to school anymore. And he was like, Oh, much better. You don't need to go to school. Your job now is to cook, clean, and take care of me. And I was like, great. So then it it was just not me doing the cooking and cleaning for him, but it was cooking for his two little brothers, cleaning up to his little two brothers, because his his mom would like go to sleep and not wake up until like one and one p.m. Which the little two kids are over here waking me up because they're already hungry or they're thirsty or they want to play. And I'm like, I don't mind, but it wasn't there weren't my kids. And which I I let him know. I was like, hey, you know, I understand what I have to clean and cook after you and myself, but why do I have to also clean and cook for your brothers and watch your brothers? Well, my mom is tired, she also does stuff a lot, and I'm like, I'm the one washing dishes, I'm the one cooking. I'm the one watching the two little brothers, what does she do? And it was always a vibe back and forth with that, and he where there was one time where he ended up pushing me, and I end up falling backwards where I hit my head, and he just looks at me and he's like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that. And I'm just like in shock, like, oh my

First Physical Violence and Hospital Lies

SPEAKER_00 41:45

god, he just put his hands on me. And I just go outside. I go outside, and his brother's outside. He was like, What happened? I was like, nothing. And I was shaking, and he's like, You're shaking, like, what happened? Like, what happened inside the house? I was like, nothing. He goes inside and I just hear them, them two screaming at each other. And then his brother comes out, he's like, tell me what happened. I was like, nothing happened. We just had an argument, that's it, nothing happened. Which I ended up going to the hospital that night because of the headache I was getting. A really bad headache. I was I was throwing up and it was like a throbbing headache. And I go to the hospital and they tell me, hey, we need your mom here because you're a minor. Which I told him, I don't live with my mom. I live with my boyfriend now. Which it kind of got complicated because they couldn't treat me until they got the permission with my mom. So then I was like, can you guys not tell my mom I'm here? Can you talk to his mom instead of my mom? And they're like looking at me like, why? And I was like, well, because I don't I don't have that good communication with my mom and I don't want her to know I'm here. Which for them it was a red flag, right? And I told him, like, I fell the dog jump on top of me and I ended up falling backwards and I hit myself in the in the cement. Which it didn't add up, right? Because I was telling one thing to a nurse and then the doctor came and I was saying something else because I was too nervous, which they they end up taking away because he was in the room, and they told me, like, hey, is something going on you need to tell us? And I was like, No, nothing's going on. I ended up falling back because of the dog jump on top of me. They're like, Are you sure? I was like, Yes, I'm positive. And they're like, if you don't tell us exactly what's going on, we can't help you. And I was like, that's That's that's it. Like, that's why I'm telling you. There's nothing else going on. They're like, okay. I end up getting like an MRI, which it showed that my brain ended up getting swallowed because of the force of the impact. And I end up getting like a concussion, and I end up taking medication for it and stuff. Which my mom ended up finding out because they had to call her. And I was like, Mama, the dog. It was the dog. And then she was like, okay, it was the dog. And a couple of days later, it was the same thing. We were fighting, and now it wasn't the dog, it was the horse. Which this time I ended up having a twist of I ended up twisting my ankle because he hit me with the car. What? He hit me with the car. So we were talking and we were outside. And he lived in the ranch, which the ranch had three houses. And the neighbor was outside, and he was asking me that if his dad, his Sue's dad was there. Which I replied, no, he's still at work. And I was like, Do you want me to get Jesus' mom? And he was like, Yes, please, because I want to talk to them. So then I go inside and I tell Jesus like, hey, where's your mom? And he was like, why? And I was like, the neighbors want to talk to her. And he was like, how do you know? Because he told me, why are you talking to the neighbors? Who told you you could talk to the neighbors. And I was like, are you serious? And I was like, well, he came up to me and he told me if your dad was here, and I said no. So then he's like, he wasn't, he wanted to talk to your mom. And he was like, stay here. I'm gonna go get my mom. So then he goes get his mom. He he, you know, they're outside talking, whatever. And he goes back inside and we're arguing about you shouldn't be talking to no man, no guy, like you can't talk to anyone, no neighbors, no police, whoever it is, you cannot talk without asking permission. I was like, really? He was like, Yeah. You're you're in my house and these are the rules. If you don't like it, then leave. And I was like, okay then, I'll leave. I'll get my stuff and I'll go back home with my mom. I'll leave. And I had a pin pad back where I had my stuff in and I was putting everything in there. What would it fit? Whatever. I was like, I just need to get out of here. Which I ended up going behind the the car, and I didn't realize that he was in the car, and he he put it on like reverse, and he ended up hitting me, and I twisted my ankle. So then the neighbors and his mom saw. So they come running and they're like, Oh my god, are you okay? And he got out of the car saying, Oh my god, what are you doing behind the car? Like, what are you doing behind the car? Like, I didn't see you, why would you go up behind the car? He was acting like so innocent, like he didn't do it on purpose. And I'm just on the ground crying with this pain, and then like my ankle, like my whole foot was like swollen by a way. And you started to see kind of like going like purple. So then his mom and his loose put me in the car and dragged me to the hospital. Um, they leave me there. They left back home. They leave me there by myself. And I was in the hospital by myself, and I was crying. And the same doctor that saw me last time was like, what happened now? And I was like, I was running the horse, and I came down and my I twisted my ankle, I stepped wrong. And he was like, Who do you came with? I was like, I came by myself. Well, you mean you came by yourself? Yeah, I came in the taxi by myself. And they were like, Okay, plus same process. We need to, you know, call your mom, get her permission. I was like, uh, okay. So they end up calling my mom. My mom calls me and she was like, Why are you not hospital again? And I was like, Mom, don't get mad at me, but you know how you said you don't want me to be riding horses because I'm just gonna get hurt. Well, that happened. And she was like, Why is it always an animal that hurts you? And I'm like, bad luck, they don't like me. And they're like, There's something going on. I was like, There's nothing going on, it's just like I got off the horse wrong and I twisted my ankle. Which they they did x-ray, they they put a like a not a cast, but they wrapped it, and I had to use those what's the the crutches? The crutches there. I use those and I call his I call his eyes, he doesn't answer, I call his mom, don't answer. So I ended up calling his brother. I was like, hey, is his size there? He was like, no, he went to work. Is your mom there? He was like, no, they're at the store. I was like, are you busy? He was like, no, what happened? I was like, can you come pick me up? And he was like, are you ready to come back? I was like, yeah, can you come? Can you pick me up? He was like, yeah, I'll be there. He comes, he gets there, picks me up, he's like, what happened? I was like, I was in the course. I got no, what happened? Don't don't tell me that story. I was like, what do you mean? Tell me what happened. And I was like, that happened. He was like, no. Like, I know he hit you with the car. I'm like, who told you that? And he was like, the neighbor. Because my mom is telling me one thing, the neighbor is telling me one thing. And like, I because on the way to the hospital, they were telling me, like, hey, you need to say that you came down from the horse and you stepped wrong and you twisted your ankle. That was like the whole plan. But the neighbors told him what happened, and he was like, You can't let him keep doing this. And I was like, I want to go home. He was like, Are you sure you want to go home? I was like, Yeah, I want to go home. So he takes me to my mom's house. And when my mom sees me how I am with crutches and bandage and stuff, she gets mad. And we just start arguing with argument, and it's just back and forth, and I was like, okay, I need to leave. I can't stay here. Which in the way I was being treated at Jesus with at his house, I feel safer in the way than staying with my mom. And so I go back to their house and I just, you know, knock out. I go to sleep. Jesus gets there like at 2, 3 in the morning. He wakes me up and he's like, How are you feeling? I'm like in pain. I feel like shit right now. I feel like a train ran me over. And he's like, Why will you go behind the car? I was like, why will you drive underwards when I'm behind the car? He was like, I didn't see you. So I was like, okay, you didn't see me. And I was like, I just want to go to sleep. So I go back to sleep and I just I I could hear them like I'm going into like I'm half asleep, I'm half awake, and I can hear him like talking to his brother. But I couldn't really understand what they're saying, which I end up, you know, knocking out, and I don't I couldn't hear them no more. And I wake up the next day and his whole family's there. Uncle, aunt, cousin. And I'm like, what the heck are they doing here? And they're like, as he comes to the to the room, he's like, Oh, they're here to see you. Why? They want to see how you're feeling. Why? Because I told them that you got hurt by the horse. I'm like, oh my god. So then I change. I'm in my page, so I change and I put something else. And I go outside and they're like, oh my god, what happened to you? Like, if you don't know how to ride horse, boy will you get on top of a horse and ride and stuff like that? And I was like, because I'm dumb. I was dumb. And it it I was just there with them talking and stuff, and that's how like it went, and just having them coming back to see us and stuff like that. Which my mom hasn't come to visit me because I moved out of her place, which she was upset about, and I understand. But I did like talk to her over the phone, send her a message, um, to let her know I was okay. But she didn't visit me. This time by this time, it's December, close to Christmas. And he was like, I have news for you. Your mom is coming to visit us on Christmas Day. I was like super excited. And he was like, Let's go to the store and get a gift for your mom. Okay.

Party Night Doubts and Christmas Escalation

SPEAKER_00 53:56

So we go to the store and I'm going to the stuff looking, what should I get for my mom? I don't know if I should get her like shoes, clothes, I'm just going through stuff. And he's like, we should give her a microwave. She doesn't have a microwave, she needs a microwave. I was like, sure, just get it for her. So then we go back to his house, we're wrapping the gift, his mom is wrapping the gift, and we end up leaving to a party, which it was it was his mom's friend's son, and they wanted me to go with crushes, right? Because I still had them on. And I was like, I don't want to go. And he was like, Let's just go for a while. If you start having pain, we we'll come back. I was fine, okay, let's go. And I was like, I don't have to, I don't have anything to wear. Because all my clothes were either sweaters and sweatpants. That's the only thing I could was allowed to wear. Just sweatpants.

unknown 55:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 55:02

So I didn't have like a dress, a t-shirt, a blouse, or anything really nice to go to a party with. And he was like, he was like, well, go to your house and you could get something there. Because we won't have time to go to the store and buy you something. And I was like, but get what? Like what can I wear? And he was like, just a regular blouse and some jeans. Right? I was like, I go. So I get to the house and I tell my mom, I was like, Mom, I want to go to my room and get some clothes because we're going to a party. And my mom just like, okay, go, go, go. I was like, okay. So I get there, I start changing. I start doing my hair like on the ponytail, and I come downstairs. And he was like, Why do you have your hair in the ponytail? You know I don't like it when it's in the ponytail. It has to be in the bun. So I'm like taking my hair back, doing my hair again as a like a little messy bun. And he's like, better. And I was like, okay. And he was like, take those earrings off. I don't want you to be earrings. And then he I had like my nails painted, and he was like, take the nail polish off. I was like, okay. And I didn't say anything. I was like, okay, fine. I don't want to argue. I just want to go. We get to the party. We sat down, we're eating, we're talking to people, and Jesus asked me if I wanted to dance. And I was like, okay. How can I dance when I'm hurt? And he was like, come on, like this dance. I'll just we could dance slowly. I was like, fine. And we're dancing, whatever, and everyone's dancing. And I he just tells me, stay here, I'll be back. Which I see him. He goes behind behind the bathrooms. Because it was at a park. So he goes behind the bathroom. He takes about like 45 minutes to come back. Which I'm just there sitting with his brother, his mom, and his dad. And when I see him coming back, he's kind of like fixing his clothes and fixing his hair. Mom like, why is he fixing his clothes and his hair? And I turn around to look at his brother, and his brother looks at me, and he's like, Do you see? I was like, Yeah. And he was like, Do you know? And I was like, No. And he just looks at his brother. And then he looks at me, he's like, I was blind lighter. So then he gets his house gets there and he's like, What's going on? Why you're so serious? And I was like, nothing's wrong. I just want to go. I'm in pain right now. I just want to go. And he's like, Well, I still want to stay at the party. And then his brother was like, I'll take her. Because people were there, he didn't say anything. He was like, okay. So then I go with his brother and I leave. By this time, I'm not worried what he's gonna do. His brother, I just want to leave. And once we got to the car, we were driving, he was driving me home. And I was like, can you explain what you said? He was like, It's better for you to talk to him. I was like, why? He was like, I don't want to say something and be the one who ruins a relationship. I was like, oh my god, he's cheating on me. And I told him, is he cheating on me? Yes or no? And all he said is, you need to talk to him. I was like, screw this, he's cheating on me. And I tell him, I was like, why are you so nice to me? Like, why are you doing these things to me? And he's like, to be honest with you, I always had a cross on you, but I never said any because you were dating my brother. And I was like, So then I tell him, like, hey, I feel like it's better to stay away from each other, like, not talk to each other unless we have to talk to each other. I don't want to cause any problems, I don't want drama, you know, I don't want Erica's relationship as brothers to be ruined because of me. And he looks at me and he tells me, can I just kiss you and tell me if you want to leave him or not? And I was like, you need to leave. Like, I need to leave, you need to leave. Like, I don't know. Like, we can't, we can't, we can't do this. I don't feel comfortable anymore around you. And he just looks at me. He's like super upset. Upset that he just ruined whatever relationship he had with his brother and with me. And I was like, I feel better if you just leave for this moment and come back until everyone's here at home. Well he does. He does leave and I'm like in the house by myself, just thinking exactly what he just said to me. I'm thinking, pretty much he just told me his brother was cheating without saying his brother's cheating. And he just told me he wanted to kiss me because he had feelings for me. And I was just there processing everything. Time goes by, they get home. Jesus asked me, hey, where's my brother? I was like, I don't know. He left, he told me that he was going to go to the store. And he tells me everything okay. I was like, yeah, everything's fine. And he's like, okay, well, you need to get ready because your mom is gonna get here soon. And I was like, wait, but isn't my mom coming tomorrow? And he was like, no, she's coming today to spend the night and be here tomorrow. I was like, okay, I thought she was coming here tomorrow. He was like, no. So then I was getting ready, like I was cleaning, everyone was cleaning, you know, sitting at the tables, and the neighbors were coming around, helping us out, and I was just like in my mind, where I'm just like, I was in the table, sitting up a table, and I just like was standing there on the next to the table, just looking at straight ahead and just lost in mind. And his mom comes and she's like, Are you okay? And she says, like, hey, hey, are you okay? And I can hear her like behind my mind, like my head. And I zoomed out and I was like, What? And she's like, Are you okay? Like, what's going on? Like, you're usually not like this. I'm like, I don't know, probably I'm just too tired. I've I haven't been sleeping because of the pain. And then she turns around and tells Jesus, hey, I I feel it's better for her to go to sleep. She's she's she's not herself. She could come back outside later on when she feels better. And Jesus was like, Okay, come on, let's go. Let's go inside. And I go to the room, I lay down, Jesus' like, hey, what's going on? I was like, nothing, I'm just too tired. He leaves, I'm there, I end up falling asleep, and when I hear my mom's laugh, I wake up. And I see my mom, she's there with my little cousin. And I see her, like, I go up to her, I hug her, you know, and we're I sit next to her, we're talking, and they're just having so much fun. We're playing bingos and eating and stuff. Which my mom told me, Why are you in PJs? I was like, Oh, because I was at sleep. And she's like, Are you feeling good? I was like, Yeah, just with the pain, I can't sleep well at night sometimes. And I told my mom, I was like, I'll be back. I'm gonna go change. I wear when I go back in the room, the bed, there's jeans, my jeans, and there's a tank top with a with a white sweater that had flower prints on, laid on the bed, and I was like, Okay. So then I text and I was like, hey, what's my clothes doing on the bed? And he was like, Hey, it's you know, it's almost Christmas. I felt like you should dress up a little bit nice. Okay, so I put it on, I go out, you know, I have my sweater on, SEPTA, because it was cold. So I was like, I just don't want to be wearing a TikTok. So I have my sweater, we're talking, we're having fun, and then he gets up, he tells me, Hey, we need to go get wood. Come help me out. How can I help you if I'm on crushes? And he's like, just come, come on. I go and he's he gets like a little wagon. He's like, put some wood in there, and I was putting wood on the wagon, and then by the fourth time I put the wood on the wagon, he grants my rest, and he tells me, he tells me, he'll give you the permission to put your hair down. And I told him I thought it was okay just because of tonight. And he's like, you know I hate it when your hair is down. You need to show those marks I gave you so men will know that you're already taken. And he was just squeezing my rest and he slapped me. And he told me, You're gonna put your hair up right now. And I told him, No. I'm I'm tired, I'm done, I don't know. And he grab he grabs me by the shoulders and he pushing me down to the ground. And I was so in shock that I froze, and he was like, You're gonna do it one way or another. And I'm just there, and he has a rubber band, and he's grabbing my hair, and he pulls it in the in the in the bun. And once he's done doing the bun, he pulls me my hair all the way down to the ground, and he holds it there like that. And next thing I know, his other hand is around my neck. And he he looks at me, he's like, You're supposed to obey me. You're supposed to do what I'm telling you to do. If you don't, you're gonna find out what happens if you don't. At this time, I'm just like, okay. I'm sorry. I'll do what you're saying, what you're telling me to do. I won't go against you anymore.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:26

As difficult as Luna's story has been to hear, her journey is far from over. Join me tomorrow for part two, where Luna shares what happened after this point in her relationship, the challenges she faced, and how her story continued to unfold. Thank you for listening, and thank you to Luna for her courage in sharing her story. I'll be back tomorrow for the conclusion of this powerful two-part

Strangulation and Part Two Preview

SPEAKER_01 1:06:50

conversation. Find more information, register as a guest, or leave a review by going to the website onein3podcast.com. That's the number one, I and the number three podcast.com. Follow one in three on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at one and three podcast. To help me out, please remember to rate review and subscribe. One and three is a point five Panoi production. Music written and performed by Tim Crab.