Teen Dating Violence Survivor Luna Shares How She Finally Escaped (Part 2/2) | Ep. 124

Welcome Back And Content Warning

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Hi Warriors, welcome back to One in Three. I'm your host, Ingrid. This is part two of my conversation with domestic violence survivor Luna. In the previous episode, Luna shared how her relationship that began when she was just a teenager quickly transformed into one marked by manipulation, coercive control, and escalating abuse. We left off after she described surviving a violent assault, including strangulation. Today, Luna continues her story, sharing what happened next and the challenges she faced as the abuse continued. In addition to the topics mentioned in the podcast disclaimer, please note that this episode includes discussion of drug use and miscarriage. Let's continue Luna's story.

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At this time, I'm just like okay. I'm sorry. I'll do what you're saying, what you're telling me to do. I won't go against you anymore. He leaves. I'm still on the ground where I'm trying to fix the hair, you know, brushing the dirt off of me. And I see

A Child Witnesses The Violence

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the neighbor's little girl, and she's just in tears. She's around 10. She's in tears. And she tells me, I'm gonna tell my mom what I just saw. And I told her, please don't say anything. Okay, I'll I'll I'll talk to him and he won't do it no more. And she looks at me and she tells me, My dad used to do that to my mom, and he never changed, and he almost killed my mom. And when she said that, it it hit me so hard because I knew what she was traumatized and what she saw could happen to me. And I just hugged her and I was like, I'm sorry, just saw this, but you can't tell no one. And she leaves, she goes, sits down with her mom, and her mom is saying, like, hey, you know, what's wrong? Why are you crying? And she just looks at me, and I look at her, and her mom was like, you know, confused, like, why is she looking? Why is my daughter looking at her? And she says, she ends up saying, No, it's because I didn't see Luna coming out behind the the house, and she scared me, and I got super scared that I was crying. And her mom was like, That's why you're crying? I thought something really bad happened. And she's like, No, Luna scared me, that's it. Which I was like, okay. I was I was released because I was like, she didn't say anything, she kept it a secret, but I still felt bad because I was like, she saw it, she knows what's going on. You know, I had so many things in my head when I was like, okay, I just want this day to be over. Midnight came. Everyone was, you know, going back to their houses, trying to go to sleep. I go back to the house around like 1:30-ish in the morning. And me and my mom were inside, and everyone else was outside still. Which my mom stayed with me in the room. And Jesus stayed on the

Christmas Night And A Dangerous Ride

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on the couch. And my cousin ended up getting picked up by my aunt because she couldn't spend the night. And I was in the room and I tell my mom, like, mom, do you love me? And she's like, Why even ask? You know the answer. I was like, sometimes I feel like you don't. And she's like, What's going on? And I tell her, I was like, nothing, I just want to know. And she's like, you know you could tell me anything, right? Like if something's going on, you could talk to me. I was like, yeah, I know. And I end up falling asleep with my mom next to me. And we wake up the next day, same thing over cleaning, you know, getting everything ready for Christmas, because it's Christmas night. And we're just waiting again, bingo, we're having fun. Midnight comes, we open gifts, we're celebrating, telling everyone happy Christmas, Merry Christmas, whatever. And my mom was like, Okay, you know, I'm tired, you know, I need to go to the house because the next day I'm going to work. So me and Jesus take my mom to her house. On the way there, we end up getting pulled over because of the car. His car didn't have the tags, they were already expired, which he couldn't pay for it because it wouldn't pass the smock that he needed. So he gets pulled over, and the police officers are like, hey, you know, the tags are expired, you can't be driving. And he's like, shoot, I forgot to pay them or whatever he came up with. And there were, he, the police officer was like, Where are you guys going? And I was like, Oh, we're just gonna drop off my mom to the house. And he was like, the police officer are like, it's best for you guys to stay there. Because if someone else pulls you over, you know, he's gonna get the car's gonna get told and he's gonna get arrested for not having the tax. I was like, okay. So we should we get to my mom's place, and I told him, like, hey, I feel like we need to stay, like, we shouldn't be driving. And he's like, no, we're gonna go back home. And that's it. I was like, okay. I didn't say anything. My mom told him, like, hey, you you know, I feel like you guys need to stay. It's already too late, you know, you can't be driving like that. He's like, no, it's fine, we'll get there soon. And he was so super nice, super sweet with her. But then once I told him, he's like, no, we're gonna go home, and that's it. Which we get in the car, we drive back, uh, halfway back, he pulls over to the gas station, and he pulls over to the gas station because he sees a police car, which I'm already nervous, and I'm like, oh my god, we're gonna get pulled over again. So what he does is he goes inside the gas st the window at the gas stations, he puts gas, he makes time, whatever. So the police officer will pass. He gets in the car again, he starts driving, and before we go inside the the driveway, he pulls over and he gets to the side of the car, he he brings a tiny little bag, and he tells me, Have you smoked weed before? I was like, Never.

Forced Weed And A Knife Threat

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Do you want to try it? No. He was like, You're gonna try it. One way or another, you're gonna try it. I look at him, I was like, I can't. I can't do this. He's like, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you you're gonna do it. He gets, he opens it, and then I'm like, I'm not gonna do it. I get out of the car, he goes behind me, he goes behind me and turns me over, he has his hand on my throat again, and he's like, I already told you what happens when you don't listen to me. And he reached to his pocket, and I knew exactly what he had in that pocket. Um, he always carried a pocket knife with him in that pocket. It was always on that side of the pocket, and he pulls it, and he opens the pocket knife, and he just puts it next to my face, and he's like, Do you really want me to force you to do it? Because I will force you and you won't like it. I'm there, I'm I'm crying, I don't know what to do, I'm scared. He has the pocket knife, and he's I was like, Okay, I'll do it, but just this one tie, only this one tie. And his brother's coming, which I thought, you know, it was great because he was gonna save me. But when I when I saw him, he looked at me and he looked at his brother, and he said, What are you guys doing? And and his brother was like, Oh, we're gonna smoke. And then he's like, Do you know that we found a pregnancy test in the bathroom? And I was like, shit. And he looks at uh his looks at me and he's like, What is he talking about? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know what he's talking about, and then his brother was like, Are you sure, Luna? And I was like, just stop, stop, don't say anything else. And then his like, don't say anything about what? What's going on between

Pregnancy Reveal And Immediate Suspicion

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you two? I was like, nothing. And then his was like, Are you pregnant by him? I was like, no, no, I'm not. You guys are acting so weird, like what the hell is going on? And I'm like, oh my god. And I'm like, I'm pregnant. I did a the test in the morning, it came out positive. And he looks at me and he's like, When were you gonna tell me? I don't know. I was too scared to tell you. And he was like, Are you you were too scared to tell me because why? Like, isn't that that baby mine? It is yours, then why are you scared? And I was like, Because you don't want kids. I was like, because you don't want kids, and he leaves, he drives away, and I'm just there with his brother. And I'm like, You couldn't just stay quiet, right? And he was like, I couldn't stay quiet. And I go back inside the house and I'm crying, and he's his sister's texting me, like saying, like, we're gonna go tomorrow, not tomorrow, but um, we're gonna go and get a pregnancy test again, and we're gonna make sure it comes out positive, and it does, we're gonna go to the clinic and get checked out, and I'm like, okay, like we could do this. And he was like, and was a baby, if you are pregnant and you deliver the baby, we're gonna do a DNA test. I'm like, oh my god. Because YouTube's been acting so freaking weird that I don't know what's going on. And I'm like, so days pass. We're we're we're not talking to each other, we're kind of like quiet. Um, he doesn't sleep with me anymore, he sleeps in the couch. Um, he only talks to me when he when it needs to, you know, we need to talk to each other. Um he wouldn't sit next to me to eat dinner, lunch, or whatever. He would just try try his best to stay away from me. And until New Year's comes, um, you know, New Year's pass, we celebrate New Year's, it was, you know, whatever. And then we end up going to the store to get a pregnancy test. It comes out positive. So then he's like, You need to do an appointment with your doctor. And I was like, okay. So I call and I tell him, hey, you know what, I'm trying to make an appointment. I already did like two home tests, came out positive. I just want to make sure. They're like, okay, this day at this time. I was like, perfect. I go, I tell him, like, hey, this day at this time, and he's like, okay. He takes me, that day arrives, he takes me, and he he takes me and they give me like a little cup to you know tea on, and he's like, I want to go with you. And they tell him, like, you can't go inside the bathroom with her. And he's like, Why not? It's privacy. You just can't go inside with her. Which he says, well, someone needs to see her. And the nurse is like, huh? So then she's like, Well, I could check if you want someone to see her, I could go in with her. And and she goes inside with me to the bathroom, and she's like, Are you okay? Is everything okay? That's that's not okay. I'm like, Well, he's just nervous. He just wants to make sure I'm pregnant, you know. And he's just like, Are you sure like you guys you don't need help? Like, if something's going on, you could tell me you're safe here. I was like, no, no, everything's okay. So I end up getting her the sample. She goes off and she comes back like five, ten minutes later, and she's like, it's positive. You're pregnant. And his phase is just like not exactly what I expected, right? And he's like, Well, how soon can can a DNA be on the can like can like be on the baby? And he's and the nurse was like, why? And he's like, Well, just I want to make sure the baby's mine. And the nurse was like, well, they could do a DNA at five months, but it's risky for the baby. And I was like, no, we're not doing that. We're gonna wait until I deliver the baby, and you could do a DNA if you want. If you don't want, then it's fine, I'll just go back with my mom. And the nurse was like, I I'll leave you too. I I'll be back. And so we're just there like going back and forth, like, you don't trust me. How come you you say you you want a DNA? It's just back and forward. And I hear a knock on the door, and then the doctor comes, my doctor comes. And then he's like, It's so surprising that you're pregnant. You're only 16. Does your mom know? I was like, no. And he looks at me, and then he looks at him, and he's like, So I believe this is the dad of the baby. And he looks at the doctor and he's like, Could be the dad. We don't know yet. And the doctor just looks at him like, huh? So then he's like, Can I talk to her alone? Like, there's some stuff that we need to discuss alone. He steps outside the the door, he stays there, trying to listen, whatever we're talking about. And the doctor was like, Where are you okay? Are you safe? You know, my nurse came up to me and told me what was going on. I was like, I'm fine, everything's okay. And he looks at me, he's like, Are you sure? I was like, Yeah. And he's like, Luna, I've been your doctor for six years, Luna. I know you. Something's going on. I was like, no, I'm I'm good. I'm fine. I promise. He's like, don't promise what you can't make that promise. And I was like, I'm fine. And then he was like, okay, like I'm gonna give you, you know, your paperwork, I'm gonna give you these templates, you know, different options that you want to keep it, you wanna do other stuff. And I was like, Yeah, I get them, I get out, and we go back home. And we arrived there. And his brother comes out, and and he's like, What happened? And his dude was like, Well, she's pregnant. It's a hundred percent that she's pregnant. And his mom and dad arrive, and and I'm just like in shock. I don't know what to do, like the way he's reacting, you know. And he tells his parents, like, hey, Luna's pregnant, and they're like, Oh my god, you're pregnant, cats, and I can't believe I'm gonna be a grandma. And I'm like, Yeah, you know, I can't believe I'm gonna be a mom at 16. And he's a their parents are like, you know what? We need to call everyone, we need to let everyone know tomorrow, a birthday, a party, whatever, whatever's gonna be, it needs to happen tomorrow. I'm like, oh my god. And I'm like, no, you know, I think we should not do any of that, you know, it's too early for that. And then he just looks at me and he's like, what's wrong? I was like, nothing. Are you scared to peop of people find out the truth? I'm like, the truth about what? And he's like, you know what I'm talking about. I was like, fine, you know, do whatever you want to do. And you guys plan it. I I I don't have the energy to do this right now. I just I want to be alone right now. I go to my room, I lock the door, I get my phone, and I end up calling. I end up calling one of my my aunt, my mom's sister, and I'm crying. I'm crying, and I tell her, Dia, I'm like, I'm pregnant, I'm only 16, this is going on, I don't know what to do, I have no one else to talk to. You're my only hope. What should I do? She looks at me and she's like, Luna, relax,

A Late-Night Escape Plan Falls Apart

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calm down. If you don't feel safe, you need to tell your mom. You need to let her know what's going on. And you need to make sure that you and that baby are in a safe place. And I'm like, okay, but how? She's like, Do you have someone to call to pick you up, to take you away from that place? And I'm like, in my head, I was like, Yes, I do. And I tell her, I was like, I'll call you back. I'll call you back tomorrow. I'll let you know what's the plan. And I go through my phone and my contacts, and I'm looking for that person, and looking for that person. And I see that one person. I was like, click, I call him. And I was like, hey, I know we haven't talked for a while, but I need your help. And he was like, What happened? I was like, can you come at this address I'm gonna send you right now, but come at three in the morning to pick me up? He was like, why? And I explained to him what's going on, and he's like, Luna, you have you need to be sure you're gonna do this. Because I don't want to go there and you back out at the last minute. Because if you do, I'm gonna go in there and knock and get you out of there. And I'm like, I won't, I won't back out. You got to be here at three. I'll be waiting for you. And that was the whole plan. And I was just like in the room and I was locked, and I was like, okay, at three, I have to get out of there at three. Which I was drinking soda, I was drinking coffee, I was drinking juice to just stay up so I wouldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to set up an alarm and wake everyone up. And at 2:30, his house wakes up. And he's like, Well, aren't you asleep? I was like, I can't sleep. I've been drinking too much sugar, I can't sleep. And he was like, Well, go to sleep. I was like, I can't, I'm not too tired anymore. I I can't go to sleep right now, I'm not tired. And he was like, Come on, let's go watch a movie. And he stays up. I was like, shit. So then I'm trying like underneath the blankets, like text me, like, hey, don't come. He's awake. I I don't know how to get out of the house if he's awake. And then I hear his brother and then his mom. And I was like, hey, all the family's awake. I can't go out. Like, we have to do it a different day. He ticks me, he's like, I'm like 10 minutes away. I was like, don't come, please. Wait until I call you and let you know when I could do it. And he's like, buy only this one time. So he leaves, and I'm like, okay. He left, and I was a little bit more relaxed. I was like, okay. Well, I couldn't sleep all day, all night. I was just up. And around nine-ish, his family started coming and coming. Well, everyone was letting up the tables, bringing the food, cooking. And I was just like in the room, and and he and his house comes and he was like, you know, you need to go outside. They want to see you, they want to hear the news. And I was like, okay. So

Family Pressure And A Public Proposal

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I was there and I was like, Yeah, I'm pregnant. And they're like, How long are you? And I'm like, oh, two months and a half. And I tell them because they were doing like all these studies, and I was like, Oh yeah. And they're like, Oh my god, we're so excited, we're gonna have another baby in the family. And they're like, I hope it's a girl, because it's always been the a boy in the family. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, like hope so too. I I inside of me, I was so excited that I was pregnant, but at the same time, I was like, I don't want this. And I didn't know what to do. So everyone was there. And I just felt like, oh my God, I was overwhelmed. My anxiety was kicking in. And I was like, I can't do this. I I can't do this. I I go to his brother and I was like, you need to take me out. Get me out of here. Like I I can't be here right now. Like I don't care where you take me. I just need to leave. And he looks at me and he's like, Are you sure? And I was like, just take me with you, whatever. I don't care where. Just take me. And I get inside the car and I can hear his I can hear his in the background, like, where are you going? Where are you going? And I get in the car, we drive away, we go to a park, and I just start crying and crying. And I tell him, like, I can't do this. I don't, I don't, I don't want this. And he tells me, I went with my brother to shop for an engagement ring. And I was like, what? He's like, yeah, he was gonna propose to you tonight. That's why he called everyone to tell him that you were pregnant. And I was like, but why? He's over here telling me that I slept with you, that he's not the father, but he wants to be engaged with me? Makes no sense. And then he's like, I told him there was nothing going on between us. And he went to buy the ring. And I was like, oh my god. And he he's blowing up my phone. His mom is blowing up my phone. Then my mom's calling me, blowing up my phone too. And she's like, where are you? I'm already here. What's going on? Why is everyone worried? Where you're at? And I'm like, oh my god. So I was like, I tell him, I was like, take me back. I don't know what I'm gonna do. And he's like, just breathe. I'll take you back. If you want to be engaged to my brother, just say yes. If you don't, just say no. You're not ready. I'll be there. I'll I'll back you up. We get there. And I we get there, and everyone was like, Where you guys were? What's going on? And his Jesus' brother goes behind the car, opens a trunk, and he was like, Oh no. We just went to the store to get some stuff. And he had like some chefs and stuff in there. And he was like, We're like, We were just worried because you two r run away without saying anything. I was like, no, we just went to the store. And my mom sees me and she's like, Are you okay? And I was like, Yeah, I'm fine. And his comes up to me, he's like, What the hell is going on? Why you just left like that without saying anything? I was like, I went to the store. And he was like, Okay, I'll let it slide this time. And he was like, I just want you next to me the whole time. I was like, okay. And we were we were in the table, I was sitting next to him. It was it was him, me, and his mom and his dad. And then around like 10-ish at night, he's like, Well, um, he was like, Well, I have another news. And then everyone was like, What, what? And he was like, Well, I have a question for Luna. I was like, Oh my god, please don't, please don't, please don't. He turns around, he gets on his knee, and he's like, Do you want to get married? And I'm like, just like in shock. I didn't know what to say, and everyone was looking at me, everyone's like, say yes, say yes, say yes, and I was like, Oh my god, no. And then I'm like, I look at him, he looks at me, and I'm like, Yes, I will marry you. But it was just like everyone saw that I wasn't like excited or happy, and everyone's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't I don't think I don't think she wants to. And then and then I turn and I look at someone and his suits were like, What do you mean she doesn't want to? And I was like, Yeah, what do you mean you don't want to? And he's like, it was his cousin, and he was like, it was like kind of like forced for her to say yes. And I look at him, and then I look at his suits, and I was like, No, I do want to get married. So then everyone started clapping and tearing, and and I look at his brother, and his brother looks at me, and he just like so upset, like, and he walks away, shakes his head and walks away. And I was like, I don't know why I say yes. I didn't want to say yes, but I just I was I felt like I had to. So, you know, we everyone was celebrating, they were toasting, whatever, they and then they started leaving one by one. We go inside the house, and we I'm outside behind the house in the backyard. I was just there, and Jesus comes and he's like, Well, you just ruined everything. I was like, why? He was like, This was supposed to be a special night and you just ruined everything. Couldn't you just say yes with a smile and be happy about it? And I was like, I I don't want to. Like, I I was forced to say yes, and

Assault During Pregnancy And Miscarriage

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you know, I was forced to say yes. And he he looks at the ring and he's like, Do you know how much this ring cost me? I was like, I didn't ask you for this ring. At that time, at that moment, I was like, I'm done. And then I I got up and he pushed me down to the ground. And I was like, What are you doing? I'm pregnant. He was like, pregnant or not, you're gonna obey what I'm saying. You don't talk back to me. And he slaps me. I'm on the ground, but he slaps me. And I'm like, get off of me, get off of me. And his brother hears me, I'm I'm screaming, like, get off of me, get off of me. He comes behind him and grabs him, like kind of like choking him behind. And I get up and I I go inside the house, and they're they start fighting. I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? And I'm like running outside, getting his mom, getting his brother, getting his cousin. I was like, oh my god, they're in the backyard fighting. They're running out inside the house to the backyard, trying to separate them. And they're his parents were like, What's going on? Why are you guys fighting? And his dude was like, nothing, nothing. And he grabs me by my arm and he's like, This go. And then his brother was like, tell them, tell them that you just put your hands on Aluna. And they looked at me, they're like, Did he put his hands on you? So I tell his mom and his dad that he put his hands on me, and they they look at his uh his brother and they're they tell him, What do you get involved? That's their problem. You shouldn't be getting involved. And I was like, and and they turn at me and they look at me and they're like, You probably just did something, say something that pissed him off. And I was like, That doesn't give him the right to put his hands on me. I'm pregnant. And his mom was like, you know, just think what you're gonna say and what you're gonna do. Don't piss him off then. And his brother is like looks at his parents and he's like, You can't be serious. That that's not okay. And Jesus is like, we're gonna go. And he pulls me, he pulls me in the house, and we have the backyard door. It's like one of those that you have to slide. So it wasn't all the way open, so it was halfway. And I ended up hitting the door, and when I hit the door, I ended up pushing myself like out to get away from him. And I was like, No, I'm not going anywhere with you. And I turned around to his brother, and I was like, Can you take me home? And he was like, Let's go. And his was like, No, you're not going anywhere, you're gonna stay here. And his brother tries to grab me by the hand, and his shoes push me to the ground, and I didn't I end up hitting on the side of the the um basketball hook thing, and my stomach was laying on the the plastic at the bottom where I just felt this sharp pain, and I just was just in this little ball, and I was like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, and I just felt something like warm between my legs, and I was like, oh my god, please just be pee, please just be pee. And I look and I see there's blood, and I'm like, oh my god, my baby. And I'm screaming like, oh my god, my baby, oh my god, my baby. And Jesus' brother looks at me, he picks me up, carries me to the car, and he takes me to the hospital. When I get to the hospital, his mom, dad, and Jesus are in a different car. I'm in the hospital and he's he's on the phone with my mom. And I was like, don't tell her, please, don't tell her, please, don't tell her, wait until the doctors say something. And he's like, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell her. And my mom picks up the phone and she's she hears me crying. And he's like, we're going to the hospital. I think Luna just lost the baby. And she's like, What? What's going on? Like, why, how, what? And he was like, Yeah, I think Luna just saw the baby get to the hospital. We're like five minutes away from the hospital, which my mom calls my aunt. And my aunt picks her up and takes her to the hospital. We both get there at the same time. And uh one of the nurses were outside, they took like the weird chair and they took me inside and start giving my vitals and stuff. At this mo at that moment, I was so such I was in shock. I was crying, I was kicking, I was screaming. The only thing I remember was like uh one of the nurses put a IV in me and I I was knocked out. I was knocked out. Next thing I remember was uh I saw I saw his brother. I saw his first brother and I saw my mom and my mom was crying and I talked I I turned around and I saw her and I was like, Mom, why are you crying? And she looks at me and she's like, You just lost the baby. And I'm like, oh my god. I didn't want the baby. I felt it wasn't the right place, the right time, but I didn't want to lose the baby in this way. I felt so guilty in a way. And I look at his uh his brother and I was like, Where's his ears? And he's like, he's outside. He can't come inside the hospital. He he got kicked out of the hospital. He's like, the doctors want to talk to you. They want to know why or how you lost the baby. I didn't say anything because that's not my place. And I was like, Can you just leave me alone? Like, I just want to be alone by myself right now. And he takes my mom, and when they're walking out, the doctor comes in, the nurse, they're like, you know, you just lost your baby, you're bleeding out too much, you know. So they're like, we want to know what's going on. And I'm like, nothing's on is going on. It was just stress, you know, a lot of stress, and I and probably that's why I lost my baby. And they're like, there was a force to the baby, it wasn't just stress. And they're like, we saw bruises on your arms. What's going on? And I was like, nothing. And they were like, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on. So because they knew something was going on, they reported it, and uh police officer came to the hospital. But because I didn't say anything, they didn't do much. Pretty much all they did was just um the report that the hospital called in because if they thought something was going on, stuff like that. So I stayed there for for three days. And on the third, on the s on the third night, I I I go home. Um but because he his dude wasn't allowed inside the hospital, so he wouldn't visit me. But his brother, you know, his cousins, his uncles, aunts, and my family would come and visit. And they were all like, oh my god, what happened? What happened? What happened? And I was like, I just lost it. I just stressed, you know, stressed. And it came to a point where it's like I told everyone just stop coming. I don't want to see no one. I don't want anyone to ask me over and over again what happened. So when I go back home, I text this friend that I told him to come pick me up at three in the morning. So I text him and I told him what happened. And he was like, I told you he should have come out, I should have gone in, you know. He was he was like, I should have just, you know, walked in, helped you out, you needed me, I didn't do anything.

Leaving His House And Police Arrive

SPEAKER_02 36:21

And I was like, it's not your fault. So he comes and visits me. We're just talking back and forward. He takes me when I go home, he visits me at home to hit to his suit's house. Because I was getting my stuff. So he he goes there to visit me, and I get my stuff, and his suit was like, What are you doing? Where are you taking your stuff? Why are you leaving? What did I do to you? You're broke, you're breaking my heart. You don't understand how painful this is. You're not the only one who lost a child. I also lost a child. And I was like, You did this, you cost us. I don't want to be with you. I don't want this anymore. And my friend, he was like, get your stuff where I'm taking you. I'm you're going with me. And I'm putting, you know, my luggage in in his car, and the fight starts again. Jesus, my friend, Jesus' brother, his dad, his mom, me. The neighbors end up calling the the police off the the sheriffs, they come, they separate us, they they're asking questions, they're trying to get the reports, they're trying to get pictures and stuff. And Jesus, my friend, wearing handcuffs, because when they when the sheriffs got there, I believe my friend was atop of his suits, punching him in the face. And Jesus was pushing pressing charges on my friend, and my friend was pressing charges on Jesus. Which I told him exactly what happened to the police officers, and they let my friend go and Jesus go. They let both of them go. But because both of them were at fault, so if Jesus wanted to put charges, then my friend would have pressed charges, and they would both go. Because they didn't want to go to jail, so both of them didn't press any charges, so they were free to go, but they only got a ticket. So I I leave with my friend. I I I go to my to my aunt's house and I told her what happened. My mom gets her chase mad at me and why he didn't tell me. You're so dumb, you could have told me this, I would have helped you out. And the whole family was like, You're so dumb for this. Like, you didn't say anything. And I was like, I couldn't. I felt like I didn't have the support of my family, and we didn't have a good relationship. How was I gonna be like, hey, you know, I'm getting abused by my boyfriend. Can you guys help me out? And so I stayed with my mom for a week. This is around, I'm gonna say almost close to Valentine's Day. And he's like, I stay with my mom, he's calling me, texting me, you know. On Facebook, he's pulling these sad posts, like, I'm I'm heartbroken, I can't live without her. I need her. I lost my kid. I can't believe what just happened. And I'm like, oh my god. Like I blocked him from Facebook. Um, I end up getting a different number, but somehow he ended up getting that number. And he was blowing my phone, texting me, calling me, saying that he wants to be with me, he's gonna change, he was gonna go get some help, all this kind of stuff. And I was like, okay, you know, I need my space. I I can't do this anymore. And I told him, like, I feel like I need at least six months of approvement from you. Like, you need to show me something that you're you're trying to work on yourself for me to be able to go back with you. If I do go back with you. And he I'll do anything, just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it just to get you back. And he did. You know, he started like getting some help, counseling, some he was going to some classes, he was he stopped drinking, he stopped doing drugs, which I thought was great, but I wasn't going to go back with him. And I told him, I was like, I'm happy that you're doing this, and but I can't go back with you. I just don't feel safe with you anymore. He got so angry that he was literally chasing me in the streets with a car where I was running for my life. And I get the phone and I call my aunt and I was like, Can you come get me? I'm running for my life. And she was like, Where are you? And I tell her, like, I'm I'm like at the movie theater, come pick me up. And she's like, I don't think I'm gonna make it in time. You need to call 911. I was like, I can't call 911. I'm scared. Can you do it for me? And at that moment, I just felt like someone just ycked me by the hair and pulled me down the ground. And I see him and I was like, what are you doing? You you broke your promises. And he was like, if I can't have you, no one can. And I was like, oh my god, oh my god. And people were passing by, people were honking, people were screaming at him. There was a a tire shop in front of the movie theater. The workers came running out to help me out. And um, one of them actually called 911, where when they got him off me, I just got up and ran. And I was just running and running and running. And I was on the phone and I I I could hear my aunt. She was like, Luna, Luna, Luna, can you hear me? Luna, Luna, are you okay, Luna? Because she just heard everything what he just said. And my phone, I just have my phone in my hand, and I'm just running, and I just hear my aunt, Luna, Luna, and I'm like, oh my god, my aunt's on the phone, and I'm like, Dea, I'm here. I'm okay, I'm running, I'm going to your house, I'm gonna stay there. And she was like, under the map, get the keys and go inside. I'm like a block away from her house when a police officer stops me. And he's like, Can I talk to you? I was like, Why? Because can you tell me what happened? I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. He was like, You know exactly what I'm talking about. At that moment, I just felt like this cold cold

Ambulance Ride And Reporting The Attack

SPEAKER_02 43:29

feeling from my head to my toe, and I started getting dizzy and I passed out, which when I wake up, I'm at the back of an ambulance going to the hospital. And I'm like, why am I here? They're like, You passed out. I was like, huh? Yeah, the police officer pulled you over, he was talking to you, and you passed out. He called us, we're taking to the hospital to make sure you're okay. We I get there, my aunt gets there, my mom gets there, my cousin gets there. Everyone in my family gets there. They only let my mom and my aunt go inside the room where I was. And I was uh I was telling my mom what happened, and the police officer walks in, he's like, Can you tell us what happened? I told them what happened, and they were like, Okay, we're gonna go look for him. Because I told him last time where I saw him, the car, the clothes that he was wearing. And literally about like three hours later, uh, I get discharged from the hospital. I go home and they call my mom. And they were like, Oh, we're just wondering if Luna could come to the police station. So we go, it was part of like two blocks away from where we lived. We go, and they're like, we couldn't find him. Um, can you send us a picture of him so we could have, you know, our police officers looking for him? If you have a picture of the car, anything that we like we could get from you to to look for him. So I send them like all these type uh pictures of car of him and stuff, like what clothes he was wearing and stuff. While I was at the police station, he calls me. I look at my phone and my face just like you could tell my face was like pale and I was scared. The police officer was like, What's wrong? And I was like, he's calling me. And he's like, put it pick up, put it on speaker. And I pick up, I put on speaker, and he was like, Can you tell me why the police officer weren't at my place? I was like, I don't know. Where are you at? And I was like, at the police station, why are you there? Because I got pulled over because of you. And then he was like, Did you tell him what happened? And I'll and then the police officer like had like a little notebook, and he was writing writing down to like to say what he wanted me to say. And he wrote down and I said, What do you mean? What happened? And he was like, You know exactly what happened, and I was like, No, okay, tell me what happened because I don't remember what happened. And then he literally just said everything that happened. And then the police officer was like, Tell him where he's at. And I tell him, like, hey, where are you at? And he was like, Why? I was like, Well, can you come get me? And he was like, Why do you want me to get you? Because because of you, I'm at the police station and I can't call my mom. And then he's like, I'm not gonna pick you right there, I can put pick you up like a block away. And then I was like, Okay. Just where, just tell me where and I'll be there. Like, how long are you gonna take? And he was like, I'll be there in 15. Where they set up and like they set up several officers around the block, and they were just waiting for his car to pass by to pull him over, which they did, and he got arrested. He got arrested and they gave me a a restraining order on him for two months. Um two months until I went to court. But after after I went to court, he went to jail for three nights. His mom and dad bailed him out, and then

Arrests Restraining Orders And Court Fallout

SPEAKER_02 47:42

he ended up calling me, which I didn't answer, but my mom called him and told him to not call me because there was a restraining order, which he can't call me or come visit me or anything like that. Have no contact with me. And he's like, Well, I'm just calling because her stuff is still here. And um, my mom was like, Okay, we can set up a date, a time, where I could go and pick her stuff. And he was like, Is Luna gonna come too? And she looks at me and I was like, No. And my mom was like, Yeah, she'll be there. And I'm like, I can't go. And she's like, Well, I had to say that or else you wouldn't give me your stuff. And we ended up going to the sheriff's office because they had to do um a stem pie, I believe that's what it called. They had to go with us while my mom gets her stuff, my stuff, and stuff like that. Which we they did, they went, my mom got the stuff. I waited at a Taco Bell about like two miles away from his place, and I felt like forever, like she was taking forever. She she was there about like 20 minutes, but it felt like hours for me. And when I saw her, she was coming to Taco Bell. I was like, okay, she's fine, she's okay. They didn't do anything to her. Which when I get home, I start going through my stuff, and there's bottles of tequilas, bags of weed, bags of pills. And I told my mom, these aren't mine. These stuff I have never touched them. And my mom was like, Don't touch it. We're gonna go to the police station right now. We go, I tell them once we get there at the police station, I I I talked to the lady out front, and I was like, Can I talk to officers so-and-so? And they were like, Can you wait a couple of minutes? I waited, he comes out and I tell him, Hey, I went to get my my mom went to get my stuff. Cherry was in a standby, and when I got home, I found the stuff in my bag. They're not mine, never touched them. And he looks at me, he's like, Are you sure you never touched them? Because we're gonna we're gonna do fingerprints. I was like, I'm 100% sure. So he grabbed it, he took it. Like a day later, they called me and they're like, his fingerprints all over that stuff. And he was like, it it was set up for you to get in trouble. So he gets arrested again for that. Three days, mom and dad buzzed him out. Um by this time they moved the court forward because my court was until August, but they moved until June. And when I went to court, I ended up getting there early, half an hour early. When I got there, I was just waiting in inside the car, just waiting, and I see him pulling up with his mom. At that moment, I ended up getting an anxiety attack, panic attack. I was stressing out. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was getting dizzy. I was so panicked where like they actually had to call the fire apartment to come and check me out. And the judge came out and told me, like, hey, are you okay? Can you stay until the court's over? And I was like, I I really don't feel good. I feel like I can't breathe. I'm so scared. And he was like, Okay, what we're gonna do is we're gonna move your your your your case forward sooner than the other ones. So yours is gonna go first and then the rest are gonna go second. Um so they have me inside and they have him in a different place, and when the time comes to go inside to meet the judge and everything, I'm just there standing, he's there standing, he's with his mom next to his mom standing, and I'm there by myself. Not with my mom, not with my aunt, well no one just by myself, and I was like I wanted to take them, but I was like, no, I need to do this by myself. I need to show him that he he doesn't have power over me anymore. And we're there, I explained to the judge uh what's what you know what was going on, what he did to me. And every time that I I was explaining like the pulling of the hair, the slapping, the control of my dressing, stuff like that, he was like, but she agreed to it. But she agreed to it, and the judge was like so furious about it, he was like, Don't interrupt. Like you're gonna have a turn to talk. And it was just like I was explaining everything, and then he ended up getting a chance to talk. And the one thing that his mom said was, Well, I don't want her to be smoking weed around my kids. That's bad influence on my kids. And the judge goes, You do know that your son just got arrested not too long ago because he was trying to set her up, right? And she looks at him and she's like, Well, my sons never do drugs, they're clean. Which they did do a drug test in the jail and then coming out with cocaine, weed, all this other stuff. So I ended up getting a restraining order for two years. And he had, I believe, go to like anger issues classes. He was on parole, he couldn't have any kind of weapons, so they went inside his house and checked for weapons because I told him he had like baby guns and pocket knives and stuff like that. And he also pulled a gun on me too. So they checked, they removed everything that he had. And then I believe two months later, he ended up getting arrested again because he didn't show up for his classes, which they called me and told me that he was getting arrested because he wasn't showing up. And then when he got arrested three weeks later, he ended up showing at my aunt's place, which by that time I was staying with her. And he was trying to get contact with me, which I I I had to call the police officers and he got arrested again for that, which that gave me a 10-year restraining order on him. And then after a year has passed by and I had to move with my boyfriend at that time away from the city to a different city because it was just his family, it was my mom ended up getting fired because of his mom. His mom was making

Healing After Abuse And What To Watch For

SPEAKER_02 54:48

up so many things that my mom couldn't go back to work, she didn't feel safe, and the office of her job was like suck it up or or leave. And she ended up getting fired for that. Um she was also in the restraining order, like he couldn't get him and his mom, his dad couldn't get close to me or to my mom. So we moved out, and from 2016 from right now, I haven't heard scene from him. The only thing I know is his brother did pass away six months ago due to an illness that he had. That's like the only thing I know from from his family. So I moved away with my boyfriend. Now we're married, and I'm actually happy, but I'm still, you know, suffering from the abuse, the ex anxiety, the panic attacks, depressions. I don't feel safe going by myself anywhere. Um if I do go somewhere and I don't tell my husband, I feel like, oh my god, he's gonna get mad and he's gonna beat me up. But it's nothing like that. He's so sweet, kind, you know, he's trying his best to understand and help me, which I know it's really tough on him because he doesn't know how. But we're happily married and hopefully he's gonna last for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 56:21

That was incredible, Luna. I I took some notes. So one thing I wanted to say, like you had mentioned at the beginning that the you ignored these red flags, but honestly, the the red flags are you were you were 15 turning 16. And at that age, you don't really know what red flags are. That's just relationships because it's you're you're just starting to date. So what he did is his control was disguised as like chivalry and romance, and he's coming in and he's he's bringing you flowers and all of these little things, just little tiny pieces of control. And that happens in so many of these abusive relationships. And it's not, I actually just had this conversation with a friend, it's not because a victim is naive or dumb or whatever negative connotation you want to put on a victim. It's because the victim possesses something that these abusers can't have on their own. So they choose their victim because you bring something into their life that they can't have without you. But it's when whatever it is that you have starts to overshadow them, that's where they have the problems. So he he found you attractive and now he's trying to control your how you look physically so that nobody else can find you attractive because he doesn't want to compete with anything. What other notes did I take? The the he isolated you. He did a really good job of isolating you first subtly of oh, that kid was was the kid who got me in trouble. So don't talk to that person. And things really are like, okay, yeah, I can see where he doesn't want me to talk to that person because look what happened. But it was continuous. And then even isolating you from family, getting you to move out of your mom's. Now, granted, it wasn't a great environment for you to be in anyway, but he took advantage of that too. I I will say I feel like the legal system actually did a pretty good job. I was waiting to hear, like even when you went to the hospital, I was waiting to hear the medical staff just dismissed you, but they didn't. They they did question you. And like many, many victims do, we we come up with excuses for the injuries. We don't want to press charges for a variety of reasons. Fear is a legitimate reason. And I mean, look what happened when he didn't get arrested. He was out in three days, and then he was out in three days. So for people who say, why didn't you leave sooner, or why didn't you take this opportunity to tell someone, or why did you keep making excuses for them? This is why. This is exactly why. And you did such a beautiful job of taking us from the beginning of what happened, the beginning of the relationship, where it sounds like a promising relationship. Like this guy was going to take care of you. It was, yeah, there were red flags that you don't necessarily see until the end looking back. It sounds romantic that he's showing up to school to see you. And you did a really beautiful job taking us through everything and how easy it is to downplay some of the things that happened along the way. It is easy. He apologized the first time he pushed you. You also did a really good job in the moment of setting boundaries. You turned off your phone. You tried not to talk to him, you did try to leave. So you you did what you could. And I I think you just you did a really an amazing job of of taking us through all of this. I'm so proud of you for where you are. I know how scary it is. I mean, do you know, did he ever have criminal charges? Did he ever do you have any idea about that?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:30

Um, he did get a charge domestic violence for drugs, weapons from other stuff that I don't remember right now, but he did get several drug charges. But like again, he was in jail. Mom, dad, you know, saved him, paid the bond, and he was out. Got in trouble again, get arrested. And I I feel that's why us as a woman we're like, we can't. We we feel like the system lets us down because he goes to jail, pays bond, and he's out. Comes back, does us more harm than what he did before, and then it either causes our lives or we end up getting severely hurt.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:20

You're absolutely right. And where it did well is is they did take him to jail. They they responded appropriately in the immediacy of what was happening. But the law going forward after that, that is where it's a failure. Because he, I mean, what what did they even set the bail at? You there's he it was witnessed that he was hurting you, he was threatening to kill you, yeah. And he was still able to get bonded out in three days, and then violation of the restraining order and possession of drugs, all of these things, he should not be able to keep getting bonded out. And that's where the failure is, because that's where what are we prioritizing here? Are we prioritizing the life of a victim that he is? I mean, it's very evident that he was not going to be stopped. So, like, what is and and I'm to be honest, I don't have an answer as far as what we need to change. Something needs to change, but it's is that that knowledge that the law can only go so far and it can only protect so much. You have a restraining order, which is great. I it it's hard to get one. I mean, in your case, it was very straightforward, very easy to say, yes, this this is warranted here. But in all honesty, it's it's a piece of paper.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:50

Right. Yeah. I'm sure over those years you you said you had to move. I'm sure you didn't walk around confidently that he was going to adhere to that rule. Um, I mean, he didn't adhere to the rule of not going to school. He wasn't supposed to be on the school grounds. So your your story, I think, is so important because it touches on so many, so many aspects. It it touches on what can happen to teenagers if we don't educate our teens in what is behavior that is okay and what's behavior that's not okay in a relationship. It touches on how abuse escalates and it can escalate to lethality. And it it touches on what happens when somebody listens. You had the the hospital staff actually listened. They could have done, I, in my opinion, a little bit more, but they didn't just check, check a box and say, okay, she said she's fine, we're gonna walk out, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:52

So it there's so much that it highlights. I think that victims who are currently in their relationships, if it hasn't gotten to the point of how it did for you, they may start to recognize some of the signs that it's leading to that. I think it's important for parents who have teens who are out dating to hear certain things and different changes in behavior that they can recognize that their teen may be in a troubling situation. I think this helps medical staff, police officers, hopefully some legal professionals as well to understand things need to change and what can what can we do better? So I'm very, very appreciative of your time and telling this story and and doing it so well. Is there anything that you would want to leave? We heard a lot. Is there anything, any advice or encouragement that you would want to leave with anyone listening?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:55

I mean, if if you have a feeling or there's some signs that something's not right, you know, don't let it get too bad. You know, you still have time where you could get out safely. Because if you wait, there's you can't tell if you're gonna get out alive or with some minor injuries, or you're gonna be dead. And parents that are listening to this, please, please pay attention to your kids. Not only females, but males too. Both genders can go through this. I had a cousin that was in a relationship with a female, and he took his life because he couldn't find another way out. And I wish, you know, I was there for him to help him out. I saw the signs and and I I didn't know how, but you know, I wish I would have done something to help him out, and probably he would still be here with us. And I still go every day thinking about it, and it hurts. So please, parents, pay attention. And even if you like, oh, I don't have a great relationship with my daughter one of the son, don't let that stop you. Get close to them, let them know that no matter what's going on between you two, that you're always there to help them out and keep them safe.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:21

Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much, Luna. This was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:26

Thank you for having me here.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

Thank you again, Luna, for joining me today, and thank you, warriors, for listening. I will be back next week with another episode for you. Until then, stay strong. And wherever you are in your journey, always remember you are not alone. Find more information, register

Final Advice And How To Support

SPEAKER_01 1:06:50

as a guest, or leave a review by going to the website onein3podcast.com. That's the number one, I and the number three podcast.com. Follow one in three on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at one and three podcast. To help me out, please remember to rate review and subscribe. One in three is a point five Pinoy production. Music written and performed by Tim Crow.